moving on from IVF

[keepfaith1982]

Hi everyone,

after having 3 failed FET’s and no embryos left me and my husband have decided enough is enough of this cruel IVF journey 💔😭 we’re in our 40’s and i have endometriosis/adeno for these resasons alone its time to close the chapter. My mental health has took a battering feeling so much self blame because of my endo/adeno. Lost my tubes so IvF was the only way.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with now facing a future without kids? 💔😭 im devastated and dont know how to navigate this next chapter.

thanks xx

[fidgetmcgee]

sending so much love and wishes for healing as you take this step on your journey. It is so hard all of it and I commend you for looking after your mental health.

It’s easy to get sucked into fertility treatment being your whole world. It’s easy to forget that a rewarding life full of beautiful experiences and connections is possible without becoming a parent.

For now though, while you are deep in the grief of it all, I would suggest that you take things slowly and really look after yourself. Give yourself time and space to come to terms with it all while also making sure to make time for pleasures too - good food, time with friends, time in nature, a holiday if it’s possible.

Sending so much love to you, the grief of failed fertility treatment is immense

[keepfaith1982 in reply to fidgetmcgee]

Thank you for your reply. We need to think of our mental state. Each time we had a failed transfer it has been heartbreaking and I can’t do that to myself anymore😣 been on the journey for over 3 years and it has overtaken me in so many ways.

Your totally right need to take a day at a time and try to enjoy the small things in life when we are able to. For now its a grieving process 😣.

Best wishes xx

[Christianbaby]

IVF can be so brutal, and it’s completely understandable that you’re feeling this way right now. Please know that none of this is your fault. Endo and Adeno are cruel, and you’ve done everything you possibly could.

Facing a future that looks different from what you hoped for is incredibly hard, and there’s no right or wrong way to process it. Take things one day at a time, let yourself grieve, and be kind to yourself. Strength, resilience and positive thoughts your way. xx

[keepfaith1982 in reply to Christianbaby]

Hello,

IVF is brutal the journey is full of ups and downs mainly downs and its time to hang up my shoes even though I wish more than anything things could of been different . Its bad enough to have endo but having adeno too is just another further blow😢

That’s the saddest part facing a future to what is totally different to what your heart desired 💔

Thank you for taking the time to reply xx

[Ctk123]

Have you heard of the journalist/writer Elizabeth Day? She’s been very open about her fertility struggles and coming to the decision to become childfree not by choice. I’d recommend searching her articles and podcasts, and also her Instagram. I hope, when you’re ready, her words can bring comfort and empowerment. Sending lots of love and wishing you the best x

[keepfaith1982 in reply to Ctk123]

Thank you for this i will definitely check it out and hopefully it will help.

best wishes xx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi. You are so brave both of you to come to this decision, and I’m proud of you. Do have a look at our support pages on our website called Living Without Children, it will help. You’ve been through so much togethrt, that only you know. Counselling is available for both of you at bica.net I do hope you find the support you are looking for. Diane

[keepfaith1982 in reply to DianeArnold]

Thanks Diane for your kind words and thank you the link for counselling xx