I hate it!

[missteal]

Have finally come on today after waiting since the 22nd of January when I stopped taking my norethisterone. I've been sat here all evening on my own in agony even after taking tramadol, paracetamol and mefenamic acid. Now I've thrown up and just need a hug. As I now know I cannot take anything with progesterone in I just don't know what to do. I'm crying now like an idiot. I've literally been left with pain killers as my only solution and they just make me sick which makes the pain worse coz it pulls all my adhesions!!

The last advice I had from the gp was to take paracetamol all the time and tramadol when I need it but it just scratches the surface of the pain. I'm at my wits end. My other health condition leaves me with joint pain, IBS and restless legs and I dislocated my knee because of it 3 weeks ago and it's in a splint. My pain management session was cancelled due to the snow so I've now gotta wait another month and my CBT nurse is now on holiday for two weeks. I feel like I'm falling apart. And to top it all off I'm supposed to be meeting my uncle tomorrow for the first time ever (who is very middle class and has children who have achieved loads and is 83, I'm only 29 and havent achieved anything because of my disabilities, what on earth am I gonna talk about to him??). My Dad left when I was 5 after abusing me and my sister and then I never saw him again and he died when I was 15. I wanted to be at my best tomorrow so I didn't get all nervous but now I don't even know if I can go.

I'm sick of all these stupid illnesses ruining my life. Every plan I make gets postponed or cancelled because of it and I feel so alone. My bf works away from home all week and is currently in Zurich so I have to wait for him to ring me and I can't ring him because it's too expensive! My poor kids are having to basically care for me and they're only 7 & 5.....

Sorry for being all poor me poor me but I feel so isolated and afraid that I'll never have a life. I can't even stand up straight because of the pain....stupid endo, stupid hypermobility syndrome, stupid busted knee, stupid restless legs.....I don't know what to do with my stupid body any more xxxxxxxxxxx

[Sunshinenshowers]

I just seen your comment on my own blog and thought I would have a look at yours. I am feeling exactly the same as you just now. My boyfriend is on nightshift and I am feeling so lonely. I have restless legs too and I justwant to chop them off right now.

Like you were saying, I always have to cancel my plans as well and have no life, not good for a 24 year old. None of my friends understand and that makes it much harder. I hope you make it to see your uncle tomorrow, dont feel bad if you do have to cancel though, you havea to put yyourself first. I'm so sorry about what you endured as a child, how awful for you.

Big hugs, keep strong. I hope your partner calls soon xxxx

[Jessicaseven]

Hey, I can't imagine all you have been through and still going through, it must be terribly hard. Just remember though you have gotten through it and still are so you must be one tough cookie! Give yourself some credit!!

Don't worry about what other people think of you, it doesn't matter, life is too short, if they don't like it and have a problem or are stuck up their own bottoms then they aren't the sort of people you want to know!

You sound like you have achieved something- your children! You are lucky to have them and I bet they are your life!

Good luck and stay strong xxx

P.s I bet your children give good hugs! Xx

[missteal]

Thanks so much for your replies, it really helps to know im not alone in this. I woke up this morning and flooded everywhere. Been through 3 towels already so have got a drs appointment at lunch time. I will go and meet my uncle later, my sister is coming too so I should be fine. Think I was just having one of those moments last night. I know I must be strong to have gone through what I have. It just all gets too much sometimes right? Thanks again girls and yes my kids give amazing hugs xxx

[Sunshinenshowers in reply to missteal]

How did you get on at the doctors, and meeting your uncle? Xx

[missteal]

For once the gp I saw was very sympathetic

She said it was quite normal to have a bleed like I have today after stopping norethisterone so to try not to worry. She did say though that if it continues like this for more than 5 days to go back and see her because I will get anemic and she'd want to give me iron tablets. I asked her where do I go from here as I can't take progesterone and she said to see how this and my next period go and if I'm still in pain after taking tramadol then they need to refer me back to gynea (wow I didn't have to ask!!).

I have just got back from meeting my uncle and my aunt. I really shouldn't have been worried, as much as my Dad was a complete waste of space, these two people were absolutely lovely. I was amazed at how well we got on and how much we had in common. I had no idea why they wanted to meet my sister and I now know it's because his sister has died and I'm going to inherit quite a bit of money I did not know what to say as I've never had money to spare, just about got by you know. This could change my life. As I said to him though I'd have much rather been able to meet my aunt than have her money. She sounds like an amazing lady, still playing in tennis tornaments aged 93!!! So glad I now have contact with my Dad's family, feel like I've filled a hole in my heart and cannot wait to see them again soon xx

[Sunshinenshowers in reply to missteal]

That melted my hear, I am so glad you had a lovely time. Wow, I hope I can still move at 93 never mind play tennis! She sounds incredible. As for the money, that is amazing. You will be able to treatyourself and it definitely sounds like you deserve it!

Also very glad the doctors went well. I hope the bleeding calms down. I'm on day 3 and im still pouring, its usually not this bad on day 3. Trying to lie down as much as I can cos then it's not so bad.

Still feeling super lonely though

Xxx

[missteal]

awww big hugs to you. I've been asleep pretty much all day and feel so weak, I'm guessing coz of the blood loss!! If you get bored of watching daytime tv there is a website called 1channel.ch where you can stream pretty much anything, I'm currently watching stargate sg1 lol. hope we both feel better soon or there will be a lady shaped dent in mine and yours sofa xxx

[Sunshinenshowers]

I love that website! I'm always on it ha ha. Great minds think alike. I've been asleep on and off all day as well, reading a magazine in bed now and hopefully fall asleep soon. Not in too much pain and hope you aren't either xx