I'm really struggling at the moment to be able to cope with how sad and anxious I feel over my infertility and being in the menopause at 33. It sounds so silly but I feel such a social outcast, all my friends are starting to having children and settle down and I am in the menopause battling every single day to try to cope with symptoms brought on by the Zoladex I have every 4 weeks.
To make matters worse another friend has just announced they are trying and when it all got too much for me, my boyfriend told me I was dragging him down by being upset about it. I don't know who to turn to as I am not close at all to my mum and others seem to just not understand. I just wish my boyfriend would understand how I feel, how useless and stupid I feel to not be able to conceive and how socially I am starting to feel the odd one out. It has shocked me he said I'm dragging him down, when I am the one who works in a demanding role that is helping us to buy a house, even with everything going on never taking a day off and carrying on like everything is okay and the one time I have a wobble and show how sad I am he says that.
Sorry for the rant, feeling fragile.
Written by
Spangalow07
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Hi - not sure if you have come across the Fertility UK group in here but you’ll find people with similar struggles and can vent/ask for advice/find others in similar situations going through IVF.
Sorry to hear you're feeling so low - it sounds like you're having a really tough time at the moment and it's not easy when you don't feel that anyone understands what you're going through. I found out I had stage 4 endometriosis when I was undergoing investigations for infertility and I remember only too well how upset I felt when I saw yet another friend happily posting their pregnancy news online.
Be kind to yourself - it's totally normal to feel this rollercoaster of emotions. I'd really recommend looking into the practice of self-compassion, which involves treating yourself the way you would treat a friend who is having a hard time.
I'd also recommend relying on a good support group. Along with the forum, we also have a free helpline (0808 808 2227), which is run by volunteers who all have personal experience with endometriosis. The times it is open can be found here: endometriosis-uk.org/helpline
We also have face to face support groups all over the country, where you can discuss endometriosis with other sufferers. You can find out if there's one in your area here: endometriosis-uk.org/find-a...
Hi. I’m really sorry to hear you’re going through this.
I was in a similar situation until just last month. I’m 31 and felt so emotional while on the zoladex, especially when thinking about fertility and friends settling down etc.
I know it seems like the time on zoladex is super long, but hang in there. I found that once i was off it and I had my surgery, I was able to accept things a bit more.
Ultimately you and the doctors are giving it your all at reducing the chance of any difficulties when it comes to your fertility. I found that when I reframed things and told myself that I’m giving it my all and the rest honestly is down to fate, it calmed me down and helped me feel less upset about it. I know that sounds blasé but it’s really helped to think of it in these terms, as otherwise you’ll just drive yourself crazy overthinking it all - I found myself in that position so many times.
Do you have any close friends that you could talk to? And there are the monthly support groups on here that you might find help as well.
It sounds like you’re doing amazingly with your job etc and you shouldnt feel bad for having an ‘off/sad day’ or even days - it’s totally normal. I think last month there was a webinar on how family / partners can help support their loved ones who have endo. Maybe you and your partner could watch it together to help give him an insight / help him understand?
You are absolutely not useless or stupid even when you feel it. You are going through one of the significant experiences that a woman can go through and you really need support through this.
I’m not sure how you can help your boyfriend understand, but somehow you need to because he needs to get on board and be there for you at such a difficult time. Could you try a one off therapy session with him so that a professional could explain what you’re going through? It might help you let your feelings out even if he is just there to witness the session and hear the advice from the therapist/counsellor. If he can’t be there for you emotionally you will need another outlet like a support group as the other members have suggested below so you feel less alone.
turn to meditation and download some app like bible be reminded that God is our friend and he made promises to us his children . and pray to start restoring your relationships but stay focus on God and he will give the desire of your hearts. he knows your troubles and he will never forsaken you , that’s what i’m doing , i am also in a very sad or almost desperate situation without God guidance and scriptures i’d be lost , hang in there friend , and a little self love can’t hurt .
I tried this nd i know it’s working I am on my day 7 with positives already. I prayed nd spoke to him daughter to father’s ear it’s happening already I believe strongly. God is good.
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