I'm feeling really quite down about it all. I'm getting married this weekend and I haven't had sex for months because every time I do I'm in agony for weeks after and during it. I also bleed afterwords.
So we have decided it probbably won't happen on my wedding night. My other half has said it really doesn't bother him but I feel really bad and feel as though I'm letting him down again with my health. My tummy problems has already made my relationship so much harder because I'm living in pain.
I am on the pill and I take it continuously for 3 months and then have a brake so I have been able to time my wedding so that I'm no way near period time. But unfortunately I still get bad flear ups.
Has anyone else had this problem and did they manage to a actually have pain free sex? I just wish I was normal. 😪 Xx
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Suzileverell
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So sorry it is a crappy situation and on ur wedding night.
I started getting real pain about 2 years ago and id always had painful period so endo was suspected...
On the lap i was clear of lap but i had a narrow uterus, blood clots to quick and i had alot of thick scar tissue in vagina? No idea why?
When i saw gynae after he explained this was why i had such painful sex , one im very tight( TMI) also the scar tissue rubs. Then i bleed and it is really painful for days after.
So i started to take a couple of cocodamols half hour before sex also a amitriptyline to relax and it was better( oh also extra lube) but im still
In alot of pain.
In end i say my husband down and told him and he said “ he could bear hurting me for his own pleasure he felt like he was assaulting me” ...
So we decided sex was off but we have to talk to each other and we do everything else ...
I asked him other day if he was bothered and he said “ no way we do more of the fun stuff now instead of a quick jump” so there u go...
As long as ur open, tell him and also still stay sexual!
Sex isnt all there is.....
Also on the selfish side I GET TO HAVE FUN NOW, instead of grinning and bearing it and being in mad pain after
So sorry you're in so much pain. It really is awful when you cant have sex, especially on such a special day.
I would take some decent painkillers half hour before, and try some different positions in advance of the day. When my endo got really bad there was only one position we could do that didnt hurt me. Alcohol with painkillers always helped me too - but I couldn't advise that for health reasons etcetc. Pls dont mix a load and pass out for three days! Lol!
Most important is to get this treated. This should not be the rest of your life. The pill only treats the symptoms and dampens endo, surgery is what you need to get it removed. The relief for a lot of women is instant. The pill after it has been removed should then keep re-occurance of endo in control- fingers crossed - and keep it easy to start trying for a family if that's on your agenda. If not, theres long term hormonal and surgical options s which could help even more.
Sorry to hear about it. I have been having pains for the past number of years and was not sharing it, now I am afraid of sex. It was not very agonizing pain, so I was quite about it. I am happy that you shared with your future husband that you are having pain. After recent surgery I have been told that my pain most likely is caused by pelvic floor dysfunction. For that I am doing PT now. Ask if you might have it, then PT should elevate your symptoms. My PT recommended to take Tylenol or Ibuprofen 30 min before. Also I have lidocaine cream that was prescribed by my surgeon for PT. I have not used it during sex but PT recommended it as well.
Had the same situation a few months ago, and while I couldn't have traditional penetrative sex, we found other things we could do and enjoy in the bedroom. You're not alone! And I hope you have a beautiful wedding!!! Xxx
Hi I had the same problem and although it’s not completely gone away after my laparoscopy it is getting better. I had liesions connecting my womb to places it shouldn’t be so sex meant it pulled it all so it was agony. But also it’s practice, the more you do it the easier it gets. I’ve found using dilators helped massively. It’s a way to relax and space out the muscles. When you anticipate the pain it makes the muscles contract which makes the pain more unbearable
I don’t many couples who actually have sex on their wedding night - we didn’t as were so shattered ..... and he’d had a few too many! Haha
We waited until our honeymoon so I could be totally relaxed. Made such a difference. I also agree with taking some co-coronal before hand or a glass of wine or two.
Your new husband won’t want to hurt you, I’m certain. Mine has been great for months at a time when it’s all too much and I then get worried I’m letting him down and the situation gets worse so we take a break. Like others have said there’s plenty of other things to keep the intimacy without the pain!
Have the best wedding day and enjoy it. Sex doesn’t make a marriage alone. Just enjoy your special day and love you share 💕💕💕
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