Scared to have sex

Hi after having alot of pain over the 8 years and then finally I had a operation and they removed endometriosis from both ovaries and behind my uterus which I am happy they got but a year later I still have pain and been on prostap injections for a few months beginning of the year I have a loving husband but I am scared to have sex now it's been 2 years and the thought terrifies me because of pain and uti's with chronic back ache, has anyone else felt this way I feel so guilty I'm letting my husband down 😔 x

[Bubblepoppy]

I was the same I had my op December 19 and endo was removed I still get pain now I was really scared to have intercourse afterwards too my boyfriend of 20 years was and still is really supportive we didn't have intercourse for a long time after the op because I was scared of the pain I bit the bullet and tried months later and when we eventually did it wasn't as bad as it was before the op I still get pain only it's afterwards like a dull ache now, we now don't do it as often as we would like but I felt really bad and guilty, your not alone I'm sure there's more people that feel this way too just take your time and try when your ready xx

[Hidden in reply to Bubblepoppy]

Thank you so much for your reply it has made me feel less alone in this situation. I think i will try not to put pressure on myself and see what happens xx

[Bubblepoppy in reply to Hidden]

Your definitely not alone, even now I still think the pain is going to come back the way it was before the op so that's why we don't do it as often and my partner understands I was just upfront with him and said I was scared, and he said it's fine and we can just go by here, only you know when your ready xx

[PurpleSynesthesia]

Hi sweet,

First thing I'd say is your hubby sounds supportive, which is good, so the pressure is coming from you (why do we do this to ourselves?)

Take a step back & think about it logically & remind yourself that your hubby fell in love with & married you not your intimate parts.

Communication is crucial & if he's waited this long then I'm it sounds like he's prepared to listen to you.

Pm me if you'd like any further help, I've recently helped a good friend of mine through something similar.

Lots of love xx

[Hidden in reply to PurpleSynesthesia]

Thank you for your lovely reply I will take it slowly and not pressure myself, My hubby is supportive but I still feel guilty and maybe he would be better with someone else i know its just me feeling silly xx

[cmbxm]

I don’t know if this is the sort of advice you’re after, but I experience similar pain with sex but luckily mine is cyclical, but I’ve discovered with my partner there’s more than one way to be intimate, there’s always oral, foreplay, exploring each other with sex toys (sex toys are for male pleasure too!) lingerie, massage oils, body licks, dirty talk, non-penetrative sex is possible and can leave you feeling as satisfied as if you were to have actual penetrative sex, I was a bit of a prude when I got with my fella but it literally started off as is going on the LoveHoney/AnnSummers websites together, looking at what we like the look of and taking it from there, we’re now incredibly open about sex and the fact there’s more than one way to be intimate with each other, communication is critical, your hubby sounds amazing and really understanding, have you also tried taking painkillers before sex to take the edge off and having heat pads and ice packs to hand for straight after? Hope this doesn’t come across as too brash and offends you with the way I’ve spoken about sex, sending love regardless xx

[Hidden in reply to cmbxm]

Thank you for your reply you haven't come across too harsh at all, I just find it difficult to relax when im in pain. Thank you for your suggestions i will look into it i do need nice underwear so maybe that's a start. i was so nervous putting this on the website you have all been so lovely thank you xxx🤗

[Bubble_by]

I had a similar situation to this a few years ago. I would recommend seeing a pelvic floor physio as they can help a lot with painful sex and relaxation techniques. It's lovely your husband is supportive 🙂

[Hidden]

Thank you for your reply I will look into it i am under a physio already so i could ask at my next apt xx