Post surgery

[Jacdav]

I had a laparoscopy at the weekend to treat endometriosis in my bladder and ovaries, and started on Prostap injection. I’m just home yesterday, and feeling pretty awful, and really emotional. My partner has unfortunately been very unsupportive, and I have been left to my own devices. Anyone had both treatments and experienced similar? I’m hoping it won’t last too long.

[jjeemm]

Hi Jacdav

So sorry to hear you've had such a horrible experience made worse by an unsupportive partner!

I do think the least your partner could do is try to offer you their kindness and help. No wonder you're feeling so emotional and upset! It just isn't good enough to be 'left to your own devices' when you most need someone to be there for you 😠!! Do you have any family or friends you could call on to come over and see you, make dinner for you, etc.? Maybe someone your partner respects could speak to them for you and explain that you're feeling very vulnerable at the moment and would very much appreciate a little more sympathy and help??

I do hope you'll be feeling much, much better very soon. But at some point or another I really would have a serious conversation with your other half and say how disappointed you are that you were left to feel so alone and unsupported during a really difficult time and you really did expect a lot more.

Wishing you a really speedy recovery and sending all my sympathy and 'virtual' hugs!!! Hang on in there....!!!! xx

[Jacdav in reply to jjeemm]

Thanks so much for your lovely (and thoughtful) reply. I have family and friends and they’ve been great, stopping by with shopping and making sure I’m okay, but you know yourself when you feel like this what you need is a hug from your partner, or even an understanding smile. I plan on speaking to him, when I feel a bit more up to it. He’s just not great in these situations so I was half expecting it. And I realise he’s prob what’s making the situation worse right now, in terms of my recovery, I’ve just not had the prostap injection before so wasn’t sure what to expect, and wasn’t sure how it affects your mood etc. I will def take your advice on board. Xxx

[jjeemm in reply to Jacdav]

Hi Jacdav

You're more than welcome!! I totally sympathise..sometimes a big hug is all it takes to make you feel so much better and it's not too much to expect from the person who loves you!!! As Tillyfloss says, having any operation, especially in such a delicate area of the body is a big deal and leaves most people feeling very upset and traumatised and then on top of that I'm sure the Prostap injection is also knocking your hormones out of kilter which can certainly make you feel worse 😒.

I'm so pleased your family and friends have been kind and helpful...it's always so lovely to know that people care about you. Do ask for help if you need it - most people are only too willing to provide support I've found. And try not to do too much on your own to begin with - you've been through, and are going through a lot and it does take time to fully recover from such a major ordeal.

Sending biggest supportive hugs...take good care of yourself...xxx

[Alarna in reply to jjeemm]

So sorry to here ur on ur own at this horrible time big hugs and hope u recover soon if u feel alone there some good listness on this site x

[Jacdav in reply to Alarna]

Thank you ❤️. The few lovely messages I’ve had so far are testament to how other women support each other through this illness. If it it wasn’t for these kind of forums I’d be a bit lost to be honest, as no one else seems to really get it. And I’ve been living with it for 15 years! So just a few kind words can really give you a boost, thank you ladies. Xx

[Tillyfloss]

hi. How are you doing? After having an operation the drugs and experience of it all can make you very emotional, after my first if anyone asked how I was I just burst into tears! It did pass, once I was back home and feeling more comfortable and getting sleep. It must be very hard not getting the support you need from your partner, would it be possible to go and stay with a caring family member who can look after you for a few days till you feel stronger? I read here about having a basket that had all the things you might need through out day so you don't have to go hunting which I thought was a great idea as after my first op I was home alone as my hubby was at work. You could ask a visitor to help you so it's not an overwhelming task.

operations are big events in our lives and can be traumatic if its unexpected or had complications so be kind to yourself and have a relaxing recover as in the long run it will help.

prostap 😊. Are you having the monthly injections? Is the injection site hurting? My was awful but they did it in my arm, but thigh and tummy were fine. I thankfully knew nothing about prostap, I was the operation that had major complications and the surgeon just said you need it or it'll be back within months. When I came home and googled it I was petrified at what id let myself in for but it just worked brilliantly for me. I had the odd hot flush but no pain which was just amazing. I know this is usually as to nurse said I was very lucky. I'm sure people can help with symptoms to look out for but I would not hesitate to use it again.

if you want to rant or have a chat I'm a regular visitor!!

take care of yourself. Xx

[Jacdav in reply to Tillyfloss]

Hi there, yeah I’m getting the injections monthly and taking tibilone daily. I’m hoping it will help, once it starts doing what it’s meant to. I suppose it’s hard to know at this stage because of the surgery, but I feel like I want to cry every hour. I appreciate you both taking time out of your day to message back, it always makes it that little bit better knowing that other people are going through or have went through similar experiences. I know there’s people far worse off, in terms of I’ll health, it’s just hard putting it in perspective when you feel so bad. Think I’m going to go and get some tlc at my mums for a couple of nights whilst my son is at his dad’s, I’m sure I’ll feel back to my normal self soon. Thanks ladies xx

[Tillyfloss]

morning. Hope you managed a good sleep. Going to your mums is perfect, I did that second time around and it made a big difference 😊. There are always people worse off but when your recovering from an operation you need to be kind to yourself with plenty of rest and just the anesthetic can make you feel groggy for a while. I know what you mean about crying I was awful and usually I'm not a cryer. Enjoy being spoilt by your mum. Take care. Xx

[jjeemm]

Hi Jacdav

Just wanted to say, like Tillyfloss, that I'm so pleased you're able to go and stay with your mum - after all, mums are usually the people who know how to look after us best!! Sounds like you're doing exactly the right thing 😊!!

And yes, you're right - there are always people who are worse off, but in the wise words of my mum 'it's all relative'...you can only respond to your own pain or anguish, and knowing that other people may be suffering more than you doesn't make your own suffering go away. So don't feel bad about expressing your pain...it's not good to bottle it all up...everyone is entitled to sympathy and compassion from others when they're suffering, no matter what their circumstances.

Take good care of yourself, rest up and enjoy being looked after by your mum, XX

[Tillyfloss]

hi how are you feeling? Xx

[Jacdav in reply to Tillyfloss]

Hi there, I’m feeling a good bit better. Had a night at my mum’s and came back home. My partner apologised for being so selfish, and told me he just didn’t know what to expect and thought I’d come out of hospital feeling fine. Typical guy, doesn’t have a clue what you are going for, even though you tell them what’s going on and how bad you feel. Albeit he’s not been helping as much as I would like practically, he’s been more understanding. My stitches are not healing well and I have an infection so back to Doctors tomorrow, hopefully once that has been sorted I’ll start to feel like my old self again. The emotions have calmed down, prob because the prostap is settling in. Just need to concentrate on getting well and then I can start to lose weight, I’ve gained 2 stone since last year grrrr! Thanks for asking after me, that’s very thoughtful of you xxx

[jjeemm in reply to Jacdav]

Hi Jacdav

It's really good to hear that you're feeling a bit better now and I'm so pleased you got an apology from your partner - result!!! Yes, sometimes other people just can't seem to empathise and instead of supporting you, they seem to just retreat into themselves!! I'm sure you're right about the Prostap...and of course when our emotions are all over the place we always feel 100% worse. I do hope that you continue to feel a lot calmer.

Sorry to hear your stitches aren't healing well...mine took a while to stop feeling sore and itchy and even now, 7 months later I have a scar where the skin hasn't properly healed - it's like a small eczema patch or a burn mark. It's still really, really itchy no matter what kind of creams I put on it. It even wakes me up in the night

I gained weight after my lap because I wasn't exercising, but then I started the endo diet (sugar free, gluten free, dairy free, soy free, caffeine free, alcohol free) 2 months later after the lap (after I'd done a huge amount of research into the disease) and now I've found I've lost half a stone without trying and have gone down a dress size. It's a bit strange because I feel I'm eating more now than I did when I ate sugar and dairy, etc I have 3 quite large meals a day but no snacks....I think it's what I'm eating that's making all the difference.

Anyway, so pleased to hear you're okay. I do hope the infection clears up soon and as you say, you'll start to feel more like your old self 😊 XXX