All for nothing........................

[BobbyElvis]

Newbie to this site, although not a newbie where this disease is concerned. Diagnosed 16 years ago with pain and heavy periods, trying for a 2nd child. I pretty much diagnosed myself before a laparoscopy, having all the symptoms it was evident. It was a long road ahead, laser treatment many times, Zoladex which made me bleed more instead of suppressing the bleeds, as we all know blood breads the little devils. Nothing was working, I wanted another child so bad, but was convinced the only way to make me well was the last resort a sub-total hysterectomy. Just removing my womb, you can only diagnose Adenomyosis until you do this, so I was told. No more pain and heavy bleeding but no more children, hard decision to make, but my health had to come first. I was 38! I have had laser treatment on my right ovary which was the most painful. Surgery took place and they said successfully. They lasered my right ovary again, but refrained from removing it, just my womb. The procedure was surgically done due to previous scar tissue from an emergency c-section, so recovery was a little longer. All seemed well until about a year after when I started to have little bleeds, like a period. I had read that sometimes the lining is difficult to remove and as my I still had my ovaries, I suppose my body still thought I had a womb as such. Was this ever discussed, never! So, for 9 years I have bleeds, not every month, but regular enough with pain in my right ovary that it is a cause for concern. Been back many times. The unnamed person I feel, who has now retired should have removed my right ovary as it was not final enough to remove them all. Other unnamed persons do not admit a bad choice was made, all that they say is my age was a risk of removing ovaries, they could have just taken the one though I feel. One unnamed person said lets just go in again and do the necessary, I was up for it, then declined. Another I am with now is reluctant as I have had 15 surgical procedures and scar tissue will be a nightmare, unless they have no choice. Zoladex was discussed again although it did not work last time, but why not give it a go I thought. One month in of a 3 month cycle and it has made me bleed heavily with my right ovary going into overdrive and immense pain I could not continue. So, where do I go from here, just waiting to hear my options although I know surgery is the only option. I have problems with my bladder, urgency etc and IBS recently diagnosed, it is all related I just know it - damage from so much poking about down there.

I think the point I am making here is really think about things before you make a decision to have a hysterectomy, it has not worked for me. I believed in someone who I thought would make me feel better and it was all for nothing. Could I have had another child, I will never know. I'm angry, frustrated, hurt and sad. Very lucky I have a husband who loves me and understands, although I have put him through 23 years of hell with these issues. He says we have to deal with the cards we have been dealt. I am grateful for my boy Olly, he is 20 and in his last year at Uni. I could not be prouder, but feel sometimes as a women, my little nest really wasn't complete.