No sex drive at all - could this be endo causing it?

I know this has been mentioned before, so - sorry to repeat previous posts.

I am on a waiting list for a lap due to a lump that has grown and grown over the last 3-4 years on my belly button, in fact there are 2 if not 3 lumps there now, which are devilishly tender during my period and ovulation. I am 47 and have very regular periods - most regular they have ever been. One of the lumps is dark like a bruise and feels like it could bleed.

Anyhoo, been thinking about things and am wondering if this was all triggered by my last baby's C-section (my only C-sect) 10 years ago. I have read on here about endo starting from surgery sites, etc... I have not had any incisions in or around my belly button, however. I would say it has been the last 8-9 years that my libido has decreased and decreased and my lumps have grown and grown. I feel really tired all the time - so Drs think its thyroid and just test for TSH - which is normal. All my bloods are always normal!! You almost want them not to be....just to get an answer.

So I mentioned it to my GP and he put me forward to mental health to help with libido, that was a bit of shock when the letter came through, I can tell you! But I am not depressed or stressed. So the mental health person said to speak to GP again.

So, I have been reading about it possibly being hormone related and how in the past testosterone treatments for women have been risky and not worked either, so I am left feeling - will my relationship last - how long will he last without sex - is it fair to still be married to him - should we split?

Soooo, what I am wondering is, if my lap shows endo and it's removed will I suddenly see some light at the end of the tunnel?? Will my libido be back - has anyone found this to happen?

I have found in the past when on the pill or coil (mirena) it reduced my libido too, so not keen on going on any hormones really.

Help - Viagra for ladies please???

Thanks for reading

13 Replies

  • Not sure how to edit a post, so will add here. Sex is not painful, I just have no interest at all, like I have no interest in Football or Rugby for example, would rather watch TV or sleep. I find it hard to show my affection because my partner finds it hard to control himself, so it's easier if he doesn't cuddle me, etc... so we have become quite distant.

  • I believe it might since high estrogen levels (often seen with endo) results in little to no sex drive, I know when I first went on my progesterone pill mine went up.

    Also depending on your age you could be going through a natural hormonal change. Menarche and menopause aren't the only ones.

    Another problem I had was I had no sensation at all due to an overly tensed pelvic floor that could relax, if that's your problem try Pelvic Floor physiotherapy, it really helped me.

    Maybe you could incorporate toys?

  • Hi Hannah117

    Thanks for your reply. So if estrogen is high=low libido. Which is the hormone on the decline pre and during menopause as I am nearing that age (48 next year). Can progesterone balance it out? Do you know anything about HRT and how this affects libido?

    I find all my bits and bobs work okay, just no sensations anymore - a bit like the Sex in the City movie where the blonde lady sitting by the pool and all the gorgeous hunks jump in and she looks down at herself and says - yep - nothing and then cries....(as she is going through the menopause)

    I guess using my football analagy, using toys would be like you asking me to dribble the ball, when I hate football LOL

    Best wishes

  • What do you mean no sensations?

    Like you don't feel anything or you don't get aroused.

    Starting HRT could help I would speak to your doctor about which ones and get a blood test to check them out.

  • Yes, aroused is what I mean, sorry for not being clear. I spoke to my GP and he sent me for mental health screening - which came back normal, my bloods come back normal..... I do have a gynae appt next week, perhaps I will bring it up there and see what they say :-)

  • Try as I'm considering looking into bioindentical research it otherwise the foreign meds don't benefit since side effect can be dangerous. Recently saw on line vampire therapy they use your own blood and natural just research I don't know all but rather try something that won't further discomfort as well damage health worse outcome.

  • At the same time natural therapies can be dangerous too. And also expensive.

    I believe this is what you were talking about:

  • I don't feel it either. My partner has no idea about how I feel I can't tell him it would break heart! Iv just lost complete interest.

  • Hi Shaz37

    It feels better knowing I am not the only one. Really hoping my lap shows up something to explain it all.... Are you in the process of diagnosis?

  • Iv already been diagnosed last year in September via a internal scan. I had no idea. I wanted to know why I couldn't conceive and they carried out tests which showed I had endo. I was devastated.

    Because of that Iv gone into early menopause 😭 And I'm currently on HRT medication. I'm praying I can have a baby this year as I have no children at all. Not sure how well that will go since Iv lost interest lol.

    And I also have heart condition and severe IBS. Joys!

  • Oh I dearly hope you get pregnant, my fingers and toes are crossed for you, keep up your vitamins for you and hubby, all these things can sometimes help, eat a variety of foods - that don't upset your IBS. Take care xx

  • I fear the same yet if partner loves you most would support you - there are other ways to please eachother - I wish you the best. No cure for endometrosis unfortunately but not worth splitting up over. Besides sex there is more to a relationship if real genuine love otherwise a man that walks away or cheats isn't a man but to each is own- I told my partner he had an option to end now or understand for life I'll always be in pain and changes will come so at least he can decide but talk openly. Share some information and that many other woman have this crippling disease . Let's all pray to God for better results.

  • That is great to be so open and honest, my hubby says we need to be open with each other and talk to each other, but in reality he clams up and doesn't actually like to hear the truth.... yet he is very truthful....odd! I am not sure how he would cope if I said it is going to be like this forever.... he does believe in marriage and sticking at a relationship, his first wife went off with other men which ended the trust. He trusts me, but is that enough? I'm not sure if we are almost being cruel forcing them into a sex-less marriage.... I know we agreed our vows, but even so....

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