No sex drive atall!!

[hansieban]

Morning ladies. Hope we are all ok. Just a little advice needed or support. Since my lap over a month ago I have no sex drive atall, I didn't have a high sex drive beforehand but now there is nothing, it's causing huge strain on my relationship as my partner has a huge sex drive and I'm struggling to get him to understand, it's not that I'm not attracted to him cos I am but even the thought of sex almost makes me shudder. I have no idea what to do? Everyday this is a problem for me and ends up with me in tears and when we do try the pain is excruciating! What can I do? I can see this tearing us apart if it doesn't get any better. Wondered if any ladies have the same problem. Just a young lady looking for some female support xx

[Thecupcakesoldier]

I had exactly the same problem. Before the lap I wanted to have sex but couldn't as it was too painful and afterwards I had no desire to at all! I still haven't found the answer which I'm sure doesn't help at all but to know your not alone. Try and talk to your partner again and explain that you want to want to have sex but right now there is no 'want' it's not because of him but ask how he'd feel a month after having someone pole needles and lasers in his special parts!

Might sound like a bit of a cliche but have you tried reading 50 shades of grey or other adult novels?

My husband was really good but I found having some quiet romantic evenings helped to try to reconnect a bit.

I'd love to know if anyone else has had the same issue as well.

Here if you need to talk x

[hansieban in reply to Thecupcakesoldier]

Thank you for your lovely response. Yes we have lost that connection abit as we are both quite stressed at the moment which doesn't help anyway. I have had that book sitting on my bookcase since it came out but never had the time to sit and read it! I think it's one of the hardest things to explain to someone you love who doesn't understand even though they try bless them. I was starting to wonder if it's something to do with hormones. I am due for my 6 week check up with my dr, so I will discuss with her, it's not a nice thing to go through at the best of times having a laporscopy but when you lose your sex drives it kind of takes the feeling of being a woman away too if that makes sense! I'm sure there are many ladies out there who have the same problem and sometimes it's nice to discuss with people the same issues and find out how other people overcome it or ways to help! X

[Thecupcakesoldier in reply to hansieban]

Definitely! I hope your Dr can help, mine was a bit useless when it came to that! And I can definitely identify with the stress and wanting to get your connection back. And try the book, it's good! X

[charlmarie]

Hey, I have had the same issue too! I had my lap a year ago and was then put on prostap for 6 months, I had NO sex drive what so ever!!! It was really hard as me and my boyfriend hadn't been together long before hand. But he has been amazing! Really understanding, I get more annoyed than he does lol. Im slowly getting better though, and we are hoping to start ttc soon so I need to find some drive from somewhere! I like the idea of the book (ive read it its good ) and definitely make time to reconnect with your partner, cozy night on the sofa etc. Totally understand what you're going through. No advice there really but hope it helps to know you're not alone x

[hansieban in reply to charlmarie]

Thank you for your reply! I think I'll have a read of the book too! thanks for support ladies xx