Emotional

[JeanOsborne]

Hi hope everyone is as well as can be. I'm due to have hysterectomy (due to adenomyosis), ovary removal and excision on Thursday. I'm 42 with no children. I thought I had come to terms with this but the last few days I just feel so emotional. Anyone else who has had a hysterectomy did you feel like this? I know in my heart that I'm doing the right thing but I suppose it just feels so final. not sure how I'm going to cope with the next few days.

[MinnieMinnie]

Hi, I am soon 49, have 2 kids and waiting for a hysterectomy. And still I think I will feel like I am loosing something... it is totally understandable. From other point of view - think how will you enjoy your new life without pain, periods, cramps etc. It will be a new life, hopefully much better. Good luck.

[JeanOsborne in reply to MinnieMinnie]

Yeah there is that. I also do know that I'm very lucky to have a wonderful husband. Thank you for your reply.

[katrina1234]

Hi, I had a total hysterectomy plus ovary and tube removal abd excision 25 days ago. I was 44 years old. I understand how you feel. I am very happy for you to pm me any questions. X

[JeanOsborne in reply to katrina1234]

Hi Katrina thank you . How are you feeling ?

[katrina1234 in reply to JeanOsborne]

Hi Jean, I am ok thank you. Mostly tired but it was my third gynae op in 14 months. Pain is slowly easing. Main issue is I got E-coli urine infection as had to be re catheterised post op. Sent home with no antibiotics. So now on 4 th course of antibiotics. I think apart from the op discomfort pain it has to be the bowel wind pain. I go for a gentle walk just for ten minutes each day. I did take lactulose but this made me gassy and worse. I am drinking lots of water. Also got a V shaped pillow from Tesco on line by Slumberdown which is very comfortable for when I rest. How are you today? Katrina

[JeanOsborne in reply to katrina1234]

Not too sure to be honest . Didn't sleep well for the third night running. Dreading going into work tomorrow and pretending that I'm ok.

[katrina1234 in reply to JeanOsborne]

Hi I hope you are ok? I worked the morning the day before my op and by the time I finished I could not wait to escape as work colleagues were coming up to me saying " you will be fine" and my lead nurse had the awful cheek to tell me that because it was laparoscopic surgery it was "not major surgery" and she reckoned I would be off for 6 weeks!!!! She has never had a hysterectomy- I think this shows!! I too have lost friends. My problems had been going on for 14 months so some of them got fed up but afew have been there for me. Am glad you have a husband. I am on my own so staying with parents as they are helping with my daughter. Are you having everything out like I did? Cervix too? Hope work goes ok for you. Message me any time. Katrina x

[JeanOsborne in reply to katrina1234]

Hi Katrina thank you for you message . Decided not to go into work ,as still not slept and just couldn't face having to be cheerful. Mum has come over for a bit. Yeah cervix too. Just wish Thursday would hurry up.hope you are ok. Thanks again Hun I really appreciate your support.

[Laura44 in reply to katrina1234]

Hi

I am 45 and waiting for a hysterectomy - I am totally worried - I have ademoymosis in my uterus and get serve pelvic pain - I am now on the waiting list - the gyni said I have to have everything removed - pls tell me if you feel better since your hysterectomy

Thank you

Xx

[katrina1234 in reply to Laura44]

Hi Laura, I had a hysterectomy for a few reasons. I had endo and Adenomyosis but I also had a Novasure procedure 14 months ago which was done incorrectly and my uterus was damaged. I went to another hospital for help ( a specialist centre). I had everything out and yes my pelvic pain is settling down. Have just got a urine infection at the moment which is quite common and very annoying. I have stopped taking Tramadol, codeine and only need 2.5 ml oramorph on days (usually eves) when I am tired and aches but I didn't need it last night 😀. My main problem is lack of patience!! I still can't drive and the infection is a huge step back as ended up back in hospital for 24 hours. Oh well! When is your op? Are you in a lot of pain? It is awful isn't it? X

[Laura44]

Hi

I have the same condition as you and I am on the waiting list to have a full hysterectomy - I will be feeling like you when I am up for my operation as when they told me I was having to have everything removed it upset me - if it is going to make us pain fee then we have no option!! I am 45 - I don't know if this is anything you have discussed - if you are able to ha e achildren and put the operation on hold until after - they did this for my friend - as soon as she had her child she her the operation at the same time - if this would t be possible and the operation goes a head would you mind letting me know how you feel after, and if it has helped massively with pain - I get serve pelvic pain and lower back is this what you was getting -

good luck - keep strong xx

[JeanOsborne in reply to Laura44]

Hi Laura. I have no chance of getting pregnant, left ovary contains 11cm endometrioma right ovary and tube have had it, I also have Severe cervical stenosis. I just really though I'd come to terms with not having children but it seems to of hit really hard again. Will keep you updated. Take care.

[Sylv_99]

I know exactly how you feel. I had my hysterectomy age 26 with no children and I had thought about the decision for years and discussed it with loads of people. Just before the op, I was so worried about whether or not it would work. Now that I've recovered and I am pain free, I feel exactly how you describe. I know I made the right decision but I still get very emotional about it and feel a sense of loss. Feel free to ask me any questions. Good luck!! xxx

[JeanOsborne in reply to Sylv_99]

Wow that was young.hope you're ok now. Thank you for your reply.

[Regbomb]

Hi Jean, I am 42 no children and had a total hysterectomy on the 19 th Feb due to very similar diagnosis. I was extremely emotional after my last lap where I learned that having children was not going to be part of my future, however deep down I had acknowledged this years ago. However due to the amount of pain and debilitating effect on my life in the last year due to endo, I actually was excited about the operation. 1week on I am in pain, but it is nothing like the endo pain, I feel really hopeful and excited about my future whereas before I never realised how depressed endo was making me feel, I feel like a cloud has been lifted. Good luck and wishing you a speedy recovery.

[JeanOsborne in reply to Regbomb]

I too have also felt that I couldn't have children. Thought I had come to terms with it but now maybe not completely. I do feel excited too because hopefully it wil mean I'll get my life back . I think it's probably just nerves. Thank you for your reply and I'm glad you're doing ok.

[Lhendaguio]

All the best for you Jean. I am having total hysterectomy with possible bowel resection and ureter stent on 8th March. I am 37 y/o and no children either. I think no matter what we think we should feel about how it will make us pain free the sense of losing what we could have had like having family and growing old with children and grandchildren will never go away. I hope your surgery goes well and recover quickly. When you're able and feeling up to it keep us posted on how you are doing.

[JeanOsborne in reply to Lhendaguio]

Will do and thank you.

[caroline81]

Hi Jean I'm 34..divorced and had my total hysterectomy 7 weeks tomorrow! I've no children..I totally understand how you feel..before going for surgery I cried so much..I even cried in the operating table thinking what am I doing! Now I'm feeling so happy and I'm not just saying this..the first few weeks I struggled just with pain after the operation but I tried to stay as positive as I could..and do you know such a difference...I actually went to my gp last week and I said to her am I being weird because the feeling that I had before has left and I'm feeling so happy..I thought I would feel a loss but she said maybe because the suffering all those years and things feel different..I feel mentally a weight has been lifted..and I feel so positive.I've booked myself a holiday for the first time in years and I'm even so excited to be able to wear a dress and not have to carry pads and extra pants with me..to be able to go in swimming..to not have to pump myself with painkillers..I'm on a low dose Hrt..even my anti depressant has been brought down..I honestly feel like a new women and I know it's early days but I'm really excited for this year ahead.. throwing myself into the things I've wanted to do..I'm able to join up to my dance class I wanted to take..I know these things to do not compensate having children but I'm trying to take the positive out of this situation..because I can't change it...I really hope things go well for you and sending you love hugs and positive vibes xxxxx

[JeanOsborne in reply to caroline81]

Thank you Hun it makes all the difference to here you are doing so well. Fingers crossed I'll be the same.

[Bettyheslop]

Hi Jean, I am 36 and on waiting list for hysterectomy. Not quite in your position as I had 2 children in my early 20s but I tried to have another for years with no luck. After diagnostic lap I was found to be riddled with endo, both my tubes are blocked, endometrioa on one ovary and small cysts on the other and suspected adenomyosis. I think of my uterus as being useless to me now, all it does is cause me problems, I spent half the night on the toilet last night bleeding heavily and passing large clots. So I try and think at least after hysterectomy there will be no more nights like that.

I know realistically that even if I kept it all I will never have another baby so it's not actually the hysterectomy that will cause me to be infertile as I already am. I think of it as something which will really improve my life.

It is a massive step to take though, have you been offered counselling? My gynae warned me that I could experience a sense of loss and offered me counselling.

Do you really need to pretend at work that you are okay? Everyone is different but I just tell everyone what I am going through, I find it hard work to pretend and I can't be bothered.

It's natural to be emotional, it's really a grieving process and it's okay to feel that way.

I really hope the op goes well for you and hopefully you will have a sense of relief when it's over.

Take care xx

[JeanOsborne in reply to Bettyheslop]

Hi thank you for your reply. I wasn't offered counselling but I think I might see GP afterwards about it. unfortunately I work in a coffee shop so have to be cheerful and friendly for customers which is quite hard at the moment. My colleagues have been as supportive as possible but they've all had there kids so don't truly understand. At least is only two days left at work then I can hopefully relax and just let it all out and I'll feel better.

[Bettyheslop in reply to JeanOsborne]

Yes do ask about counselling, it may or may not help but it can't hurt to try. That must be hard if you are busy being polite to customers, hopefully the next couple of days will fly by for you.

Nice to hear your colleagues are supportive but you are right you can't totally understand someone else's position unless you've been there.

Sites like this really help.

Have you got some things planned for your recovery? I know it's a much bigger op that you are having but in the weeks after my lap I did little things like watching box sets that I had meant to watch for ages and having good friends round for lunch (obviously I made them do the hard work while I stayed in my pjs). Hopefully you will have a good recovery and you can be as emotional as you like and get it all out before you have to face work again. Xx

[JeanOsborne in reply to Bettyheslop]

I've got a few books to catch up on and a few things recorded. Hubby is off for 3/4weeks with me so will probably go for a drives out. Unfortunately due to this horrible disease I've lost most of my friends but my husband is and always has been my best friend. My two sisters in law have both said they will come and visit so that will be good. Thank you for all your advise and support.

[Bettyheslop in reply to JeanOsborne]

Well it's lovely to hear you have such a fantastic Husband xx

[Django17]

Hi, at last someone who feels the same as me! Thank you.

I was extremely upset weeks before my appointment with my consultant, as I was due to discuss my complete hysterectomy and feel a failure as I can't have children.

We tried going foe egg sharing, but I was in too much pain to ween myself off my meds.

Anyway, at my appointment , my chronic pain manager, who has known me well and been in my various surgeries, said she thought I was only 95% ready for a hysterectomy. The reason being she wanted to explore other options to make me realise the pain could ease a little if they stopped my periods with Prostrap and a low dose of HRT, tibolone. I wasn't keen as I'd already tried 6 weeks of Zoladex injection, which did nothing for my pain, but gave me flushes and migraines!

To cut a long story short, I've had one injection, I had a bad period pain last month, but the pain seems to be easing a little this month. Apparently, the periods don't stop until the third month properly. Then you have another injection, no periods and homely the worst Endo pain stops.

I've had Endo for 30 years, so this is the last chance before the hysterectomy. As I have adnymyosis as well this should help and less need for iron infusions.

However, like you I still feel upset that having a hysterectomy, is the devastating reality that I won't be a mother and have had this debilitating disability and no family and I also thought I'd feel less of a female when everything is removed.

I hope this helps you to know you're not alone and other people who have had no children who have to have a hysterectomy, I heard also feel the same, so I suppose we're normal?!

[JeanOsborne in reply to Django17]

Thank you Hun. I've been suffering for about 30years too, but only got diagnosed last year. It is nice to know we're not alone..

[NW248]

I felt so much better after mine that really my only regret was not being diagnosed earlier (I'm 47). Endometriosis has had such a huge impact on my life that I never really had a long term relationship, in fact I didn't have much of a social life at all, and when I did get into a relationship I found sex uncomfortable. Even if I had had a hysterectomy earlier, I may at least have been able to adopt. Perhaps that is something you could consider.

[JeanOsborne in reply to NW248]

Thank you for your reply. I have thought of adoption but I'm not sure whether that would be possible at my age and the fact that we only have a one bed flat. Might look into it more once I've recovered from op.

[Tboag]

X hi Jean, sorry your feeling sad, as you know I've had my hysterectomy, but gave 3 children and didn't want any more, but a few days after I come home with out my uterus my little sister told me she was pregnant and it made me sad, I didn't think it would,

Just think how happy you can be with your wonderful husband when your pain free and you can make plans as and when you want, and the big bonus is NO PERIODS,

Good luck with your op, and hopefully your recovery will be speedy,

Sending hugsxxxx

[JeanOsborne in reply to Tboag]

Thank you Hun. I kind of hit me on Saturday when I bought a Mother's Day card and realised that's something I will never receive. But yes you're right I've got a wonderful husband and I'm really thankful for that. Take care.

[skt68]

Hi Jean, I have been following your story for a while now. I too have severe endo and suspected Adeno. I am 48 in a couple of weeks and having a full hysterectomy with BSO on 18th April with full excision of severe endo and also Bowel surgery. My story is very similar to yours. When are you having your surgery? Keep in touch? Xxx

[JeanOsborne in reply to skt68]

On Thursday . Good luck with yours Hun, will let you know how I get on. Thank you for your support.