I'm hurting so bad today and just want to cry. I planned to go for a picnic today with my two princesses, and I have to let them down again......
I'm stuck in this bed again..... My room is my prison !! My partner is my carer !! And I miss playing with my kids.
I'm having lap and a mass removed from my incisiol scar removed on Monday , I was scared but now I'm not I just what them to get in there and do whatever they can to give me even a bit of my life back.
The endo was picked up on ultra sound as was fibroid, and it dictates my life to me. I feel frustrated and upset today, I really wanted to watch my kids on the train, feed the ducks etc . I'm getting frustrated and feel guilty because I just sound like I'm wallowing in self pity so I'm mad at myself , right now.
I really do know there are worse things for people to go through, I just feeling over whelmed with guilt today it's either the kids stay in or go out with there dad but either way. I'm stuck in bed in chronic burning, stabbing miserable pain. I can not stand ,sit bend, pick my kids up.
I just had to tell someone anyone who understands I really feel like I'm must be boring my partner so much. All we seem to talk about is endo I'm always saying sorry I feel I'm always letting him and my girls down. I'm so sick of seeing my ceiling I'm so sick of decorating my room in my mind because I'm so sick of seeing it.
I just read a post about lady doing a run today for endo charity it made me cry thank god for these people. These decease effects so many life's. And bless every single one of you that feel like I do today. I have to keep telling myself it's ok to have a bad day but then I look at the disapointment in my girls face when I can't go and it's hurt so bad.
Thank you for listening I just needed to sound off big hugs kx