'Just get on with it'

Why is it people think it's acceptable to say this to ladies with endo just because there doesn't nessasarily look anything physically wrong. Yesterday someone made the comment I should just try and get on with it, why is it ok for someone to say that when they have no clue what endo sufferes go through. I get so tired of people telling me to get out more in the nice weather don't waste the day I wish it was that simple I don't want to be stuck in as much as no one wanting me stuck in. I wish people understood more, sorry for the moan ladies I just get so frustrated with people thinking it's acceptable to make these comments. I'm already low enough as it is with my illness I need support not comments that will bring me down. I'm having a really hard time with it all at the moment waiting for my lap appointment to come through the post. :(

11 Replies

It is so hard. I feel the very same as you. I'm on holiday with family, they have all spent the day at the beach, whilst I've spent the day in bed. If only people knew how everyday we 'get on with it' and when we stop is when it's mind bending, when others would have dropped long before. You are not alone. I hope your appointment comes through soon x

I hear you sister!

I think we are all some forms of Wonder Women. People just dont get it, families & partners included. My husband tried to tell me he had had a worst nights sleep than me due to his 'slightly bruised rib' telling me it was the worst pain ever. That evening I had been up almost every hour, in agony changing pads from flooding. I almost wanted to kill him. :)

Luckily for him I was too exhaused ;)

Someone said to me on facebook yesterday 'have you tried exercise?'

I haven't replied. I can't think of anything to say that's not rude.

What you mean opening and closing your eyelids doesn't count as exercise?!

That's sooo true! I like to ladle sarcasm on them & thank them soooo much for the suggestion then say I'll get to it just as soon as my insides stop falling out.


I'm glad I'm not the only one but I am sorry that we have to deal with people not understanding with all that we deal with as it is. My boyfriends family now are outside and you no when you just get the feeling your being talked about, they keep asking why iv stayed in all day on a bank holiday in such nice weather. I haven't been able to get out of bed all day because of the pain I am in. I wish people could understand I don't want to be like this, I'm 22 and it's changed my life completely! No matter how many times me and my boyfriend try to explain, they just still think I should get on with it. :( my boyfriends step mum should understand as she had endo but had hysterectomy so leads a much better life now but just because she did things I can't do on a daily basis means she thinks I should do more. Everyone is different though right? And people suffer differently. I feel so alone I'm a very sensitive person the negativity doesn't help one bit :( I hope all you ladies are ok! I'm sorry we have to deal with people not understanding! Xx I am so greatful for this site though xx

my mum tells me this almost several times a day

People don't get it because they cannot see or feel it. It is not like a broken leg which people understand and know that in 6 weeks plaster comes off and healed.

Plus with endo, because it doesn't affect everyone the same ie some can have it and not suffer, others have it and suffer horrendously, there is no constant, universal, "this is it" symptoms and process that they can grasp.

My mother in law is great at saying "oh the sun is out so sitting out there will cure you" and " vitamins will sort you out" and "surely though it gets easier to deal with as you get used to it". Aaaaarrrgh! I must admit I have replied "if only it was that simple" or "I would have moved to Australia by now if sunshine was the answer!" and "no actually it makes it even harder to deal with as you have to face it day in, day out, with no end to it and not knowing from one day to the next if going to be an "ok" day or a rubbish day". But most of the time I end up biting my lip cos it is just easier than trying explain it again for the millionth time! Yet not easy cos winds me up so much! She just doesn't get it. Oh yes and recently my 4yr old nephew wanted my hotwater bottle to which I had to say, sorry no, to which the mother in law said "yes your aunt needs it all the time to keep warm!" I promptly said "no your auntie needs it due to how poorly she feels and it helps her with pain." But by then all the nephew had heard was keeps her warm he was cold and promptly had a crying tantrum because he couldn't have my bottle! When his mum asked again the mother in law said same thing! Aaaaarrrgh! Just give up with some people!

I've had a friend, who I know didn't mean any malicious to me when she said it but still it wasn't right when she said "if you feeling like this why don't you just ask for a hysterectomy as that will cure you. Forget having kids naturally. There are other options." Firstly she has 2 children naturally no problems, I have none and my IVF is postponed due to issues that have arisen. Yes there is adoption/fostering but I want to try beat my body at something and try having a kid naturally and give my husband a child of his own if at all possible. Secondly, which I did try and explain, that my endo is severe and not only affecting my uterus and ovaries, so yes having them all taken will help in some way, but not 100% cure me as it affecting other areas.

These people are the ones who make us feel even worse when we are unable to do things, get out socially etc and make us feel unworthy, teary and even more useless than we already feel due this evil endo and what it does to our lives physically and mentally!

Sorry I shall stop my rant.

Those that get it and understand and support us are super beings and are rare but special. I hope you have some in your life. x x

It would be a different story if THEY were going through it!! Ignorance is bliss!!

Oh my god! I'm so glad this came up today! I too and sick to the back teeth of people including family and friends who think I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill! I live with my partner and his mum and she who apparently fell asleep during labour as it was nothing to get worked up about just doesn't get that I'm I'll and constantly in pain!!!! My partner also doesn't get why I don't want sex!!!! Even my mum doesn't get it. She said to me the other day "do you really need to have an op for this?"!!!!! Arrrgghhhhh

Be blunt, tell them exactly what happens with Endo. Especially partners, like I am, don't try and hide anything, tell us it all up front and say what a serious issue it is. And as for the guy with the sore ribs, next time don't hold back :-) !

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