Pregnant people

This may sound awful...after prostap for 10 months and being on the pill for 6 years bsck to back with no breaks I have stopped all treatment as of last week and am trying for a baby. yet one girl I use to work with announced she's pregnant d for us all to

Catch up. I don't want to...I feel upset and pissed off she's pregnNt which is awful because one day I hope I'm blessed to be expecting. But to be around a pregnant person at the minute just reminds me of all the shit I'm going through x

30 Replies

  • You aren't the only one that fees like this hun! I totally feel your pain! I am currently on zoladex, and my sister, best friend and two other close friends are pregnant at the mo, all between six and seven months, and although im happy for them all it still doesnt stop me feeling angry that its them and not me and wondering if i will ever be lucky enough to get the chance of having my own child/ children.

    There is no advice I can give you that i know will make you feel any better because so far ive just found it frustrating when people try and be positive for me and tell me my time will come or when they try and tell me how to deal with it now, because honestly there is no easy way to deal with it. You just kind of have to find something that makes you feel good and focus on that. Me and my boyfriend had a date night last weekend and i told myself we wouldnt get this opportunity if we had kids yet.. So i try and remind myself of some of the things we have that we couldnt have if we had kids now.

    I have one really good friend that i can talk to who really understands and we both vent to eachh other, she has been a god send this past month, along with my partner. Its good to have a support system that understands ur emotions and wont belittle you when you feel you need a little cry or an anger vent. Ive also found this forum brilliant for finding people who truely understand.

    I hope you feel better about things soon and you are able to get pregnant asap! Fingers crossed and all my luck being sent to you :)

    If you ever want to talk just mail me xxx

  • I'm so obviously pleased but I fear if she says it was an accident il just flip and be so upset. After all the things we have to do to get pregnant and I've only been off all treatment and the pill a week so I'm all over the place but it just annoyed me.

    This site is amazing I appreciate your support. It's very hard to find people who just understand isn't it. My boyfriend and best friend are incredible. As I'm off the pill I know my pain will be worse before it gets better and part of me wants to share this with my best friends and family but I don't want questions and people asking me all the tkme how babg making it (I'm in so much pain it would be the immaculate conception at the moment)

    I hope one day it happens for you too Hun xx

  • Awwh thats the worst bit about endo treatments! Al the hormones / lack of hormones totally mushes our heads and emotions! I think thats why im finding it harder to deal with babies and pregnancies more than usual, because like you say these babies are usually an accident and we have to go through being stabbed wit needles and hormones and chemo and all sorts before we can even get close to having a pregnancy!

    I havent told anyone that we are going to start trying other than my friend that has been there for me through the last few months. I dont want my family or my bfs family to know incase it doesnt happen and they get disappointed. Plus you dnt usually tell ur parents when ur going to be having sex do you? So why start now haha?

    Chin up chick :) things will fall into place one way or another xxxx

  • Exactly it's private isn't it. Some people seem to want it to get better but I think if I explain I've stopped everything that's why I'm really struggling itl help

    Them understand. We will all help and support esch other x

  • I really do hope you get your happy the meantime focusing on something positive and having a trusted someone to vent with does help like you said.your doing the best you can.i can recall being on a ward miscarrying nxt to a girl bragging she was in for her 9th abortion.I was so angry and upset. But being strong will get you thru , all ladies on this forum will support you.good luck

  • We will certainly help each other. And my boyfriend is just incredible too x

  • Sometimes you have to be selfish I think and do what's best for you. I also have two pregnant friends just now and find it very difficult being around them, finding excuses to miss out on catch ups and girls nights. I'm starting IVF next week. I just think if I don't want to be there then I shouldn't have to force myself X

  • Thank you x we have to put ourselves first! I really hope ivf works for you x wishing you lots of luck x

  • I am so glad I saw this post! One of my closest friends is pregnant and is a bridesmaid at my wedding. She is due to have the baby one month before the wedding and I am so very excited and happy for her, but so upset for me and its making me feel so selfish! When she told me I did the yay so excited and was just feeling numb but thought ok I can do this then her boyfriend said the, it was a one time accident thing, think his exact words were 'she forgot her pill one day'! There were tears in my eyes and I had to change the subject. Now every time I fell like I am good with it and just happy for her she says something and I see I am not as ok as I thought. I am distracting myself with thinking all wedding at the moment but now when I am with this friend even that is, will the dress fit me as I will have had a baby etc. I feel like an awful friend and never want her to think I am not 100% happy for them as I am but its the 'why isn't it me' part that I am still really struggling with.

    Even reading this back I sound like a jealous monster!

  • You are not a monster. I really feel for you! A guy I work with said his gf missed her pill and now she's pregnant and his first reaction was my life is over. I just thought me and my partner have to go through so much before even trying and pregnancy is a blessing not something to make you say you're life is over! I came home from wrk and cried. Why is it so easy for some people x I understand 100% and hope you do have sch a special wedding and let's hope babies cross our paths one day x

  • Hi everyone,

    I know exactly how youre all feeling. I don't think anyone can truly understand the true heartache of fertility issues unless they have been through or going through it themselves. And having to suffer with endo at the same time just finishes it off. So many friends have had babies or are pregnant and on top of that there's all these programmes on TV where there are mums with 6 children or more,and you just keep wondering why you can't be blessed with one. I failed my first cycle of ivf in December. It's totally heartbreaking and you try to be positive for another try but it's not easy. We have to fund it ourselves because my partner has a child, grown up though and I can't get pregnant naturally because the severe endo means I don't have my fallopian tubes anymore. I try to remember there are always people worse off than me but at the moment I'm stuck in bed ill with a terrible virus and I'm feeling well and truly sorry for myself. Sorry to go on, just really related to what you girls were saying. Good luck and loads of love xxx

  • Best of luck to you! I think you're so brave going through ivf I pray it works for you. I too watch these shows where people have baby after baby and think how hard it is for us to even have one x

  • So glad I saw this post! Last year I went through exactly the same hun I was back to back on the pill when I found out my fiancés younger sister was pregnant she's a year younger than me to on New Year's Day 2014. (After being with a guy she's known for six months and apparently this was her miricale baby as she was apparenltly told she had a "next to no" chance of having children... When I do not know as she's never had a gynea problem ever). At the time we had only been engaged three months so this totally took the shine off our wedding ideas as you can imagine most people will be more excited about a baby! I started zoladex two days before my 22nd birthday in June last year and was told to try for a baby sooner rather than later with the endo. She eventually gave birth in August but I swear it was 9 months of hell. I tried my hardest to be happy for them but she continually rubbed it in my face intentional or not I don't know... Her loaded bf bought a derelict house and we I.e family had to get the work done so her and her perfect baby and family could move in when the baby was born (being pregnant she was to precious to even life a paint brush). She was constantly down the hospital convinced something was wrong with her and the baby lied about falling down stairs everything... It was a nightmare I had an argument with her a few times about different things which always ended up me in years looking like the big bad wolf and her saying to me that most insensitive thing... "You wait until your pregnant" .... Anyway after my rant and I could go on... Trust me I know it's hard and you feel so bitter but in the end there is no point getting yourself worked up and overthinking things and stressed out and feeling sorry for yourself because people will never understand what it's like unless they have been through it. You end up sad when it's out of your control it took over my life last year it's what I thought about 24/7 why her not me and one day it will be you and me and people will be happy for us in the same way :) even more so I think and we will eventually get our babies to love and we will realise nobody else is important xxxxxxx

  • Thank you for replying! Good again to have someone who can empathise. It does feel everywhere I go people are pregnant , but you're right Hun it's very hard but we have to be positive x

  • Same I even got my job on a years contract to cover maternity leave. I swear there is something in the water where I work so I'm hoping it will be my lucky charm this year when we can start ttc :) I think it must just be a natural age thing that obviously when you hit your 20s people start having families xxx we are at the very beginning of our baby journey I'm just embracing the excitement at the minute with fingers crossed xxxx

  • We are at the very start as well. I wish yu lots of luck Hun xxx

  • Im completely with you on this. I have a sister in law and 2 cousins pregnant. All came off contraception before me, I've been off it for over a year now and still nothing. Keep your head held high, it takes time xxx

  • It will happen it will happen it will happen. All the best to you xxx

  • I too know exactly how you feel! I suffer with severe endo and have done so for over 10 years. I've also had 3 failed ICSI cycles. Everyone I know has had babies including all my 3 sisters. Everyone keeps telling me that I will make a fantastic mother and I just want that day to come!

  • I am sure it will one day happen. I can't imagine my sister or beatest friend getting pregnant at the minute. My hormones are all over the place x

  • I'm a nurse on a special care baby unit, found out last year I can't have children naturally as endo has damaged too much, will need ivf. Then boyfriend dumped me just afterwards. It was absolutely awful, so hard to drag myself to work to look after those precious little babies and their poor parents. Along with the usual pain and hormone treatments! And everyone seemed pregnant. I had some awful thoughts. It's bloody hard, we are not monsters, I'm so glad to have found this forum so we can speak to people who understand. It makes you feel like you're not alone. Good luck to you all, hope all your dreams come true one day x

  • You are def not alone and you deserve happiness and someone who will be by your side Hun. Take care x

  • Thank you Daisy, you too, it's hard for so many people xx

  • I understand how your feeling and it was insensitive of her to say that ,maybe she has no idea of what your going through.iv been ttc on off for years ,battling Endo , a rare blood disorder and then diagnosed with adenomyosis back in September I gave up hope.knowing the only way id have quality of life was with a hysterectomy.iv just discovered in 7 weeks pregnant.give yourself closure and try to keep hope in your heart ♥

  • Congratulations on your pregnancy! It's wonderful to know good things can and do happen x

  • Thank you so much daisy L .it might seem a bit wrong of me but I'm not rubbing it in any ones face .iv shared my news only to show that there is hope even against the odds.just a few weeks ago I was only just trying to come to terms with not being able to hang on any more for the sake of my health both mentally and physically.I was where alot of you ladies are now and it almost broke me .it cab be an all consuming emptyness in your heart and it feels like no one pregnant when I was told it wouldn't happen, if it can happen to the likes of this one overy non functioning uterus lady then it can happen against the odds for any of you .i really wish all of you who are hoping the happy ending you've fought for..xxxx

  • I am glad you've shared your story! It gives me and others hope. I wish you all the best what an exciting chapter xxx

  • That is really brilliant news, so nice to hear that after everything xx

  • Hi ladies what you are all feeling at the mo is completely normal. I know I have been there with the jealousy and the hatred I started ttc over 2yrs ago after I got my endo diagnosed to which nothing happened but I had to deal with my sister falling pregnant twice and all but 2 of my friends have had babies as well and it was so hard to cope with. I then had a second lap by a different surgeon he then told me I had 4 months to get pregnant naturally or it was off to ivf but I count myself very lucky as I am currently 11 weeks pregnant. So don't give up hope ladies miracles do happen.

  • Awww so happy for you! Miracles do and will happen for me. Congratulations Hun hope you have a good pregnancy ! Xx

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