My girlfriend was diagnosed with endo about 5 week ago and has a large amount that my need surgery but was prescribed hormone treatment first to see if that helped. We recently tried to have sex but after about 15 min of foreplay she started getting pain again.
I was just wondering if anybody has used the hormones and been able to have sex whilst taking them or is it better to wait until she has had the operation and had the endo removed completely any help/advise would be much appreciated.
one day at a time , don`t worry everything will work out , u will find out everything , evry one is diffrent , so difficult to say how evrything will be for u.
I Think It Depends On What Area The Endo Is Causing Probs & Being A Sensitive Partner Is The Best Thing You Can Be, Around This Time Alot Of Love & Understanding Is Required, Find Ways For You Both To Completely Relax First & Talk About It, Take Your Time To Be Sensual & Sometimes Lots Of Cuddles & Love & Warmth & Massages Beforehand Help With Lessening The Pain & Light Lower Back Rubs. All This Helped Me & I've Had 3 Prostap Injections & Am Taking Hrt & Having An Understanding Partner Helps.
can i just say to you wallin88 i take my hat off to you the fact your interested and willing to ask is amazing and can only agree with happyslater the more you understand and know about this god awful disease the better you need to love her in everyway possible evan if that means no sex i cant understand how hard it must be for you men and lack of sex but i understand it from your ladies point of view and we are all diffrent and communication between you and your partner is key and as i said all of the above! communication communication communication! i only know this throw bad relationships and partners not been bothered about my health and getting there own needs met it dosnt work like that but be honest about how you feel your ladie will understand its difficult for you to!
good luck and i hope things work out well for you guys love her with all your heart i cant speak for her but this illness make you lonely and isolated aswell as the pain and all that comes with it be good to each other!
take care
x
sorry with the meds its trial and error me personally the hormones made it worse but i have other problems to!
x
Thank you all for your advise and believe me it's not easy but I do love her I'm not bothered about the sex as we have gone nearly 5years with out it but what can't understand is why it's taken this long for the doctors too finally say it's endo. At one point during the early stages I thought I had done something wrong or even worse got an STI from my ex and passed it on, but thankfully that was not the case after having test after test.
When she suggested trying to have sex for the first time the other night I new it was too soon but she is stubborn and wanted to give it ago but I guess we should wait till she has had the lap and then see where we go from their.
Once again thank you all for your advise
The hormones will in all likelyhood reduce her sex drive to zero, so she is making a huge effort for you, but not being able to get arroused properly because of the chemicals, means she could not be getting much if any natural lubrication down below, it does tend to dry up the vagina, so she might find applying lubricating gels helpful. Not just right before the deed, but for a day or two before hand to get the area moisturised. Then use lube when you are having sex itself.
The pain could be caused by many different aspects, it could be lubrication, it might be caused by scar tissue or adhesions which have grown around the outside of the vagina and kind of formed an outer casing of superglue which can be very painful if stretched or torn, or could be deeper inside at the cervix which can get adhesions inside and out.
If she has endo, what is common with endo ladies is that the womb is tilted backwards where as more ladies have it tilting forwards. Your GF might find it easier or rather, less painful to have sex in a different position to the standard missionary position.
You lying on your back, she sat up on top of you for example.
it all depends, as each of us is different and finding what suits best is really a matter of trial and error as it is in many relationships even where endo is not an additional element.
As for why it takes doctors so long to diagnose------- we are all wondering exactly the same thing. over 30 years wait in my case, but the average is around 9 years. it's unforgiveable quite frankly, but that's just a small and significant part of the battle.
Also surgery may not remove the endo completely it would be very rare for all endo to be removed in one op and that is usually only possible when caught in the very early stages. Also each surgery to remove endo creates scar tissue or adhesions, and it is actually the adhesions which are much more likely to cause painful sex than endo itself. Endo itself is a wound or several little wounds and they cause scar tissue build up too. As can many different injuries, infections and trauma to the tummy area and not just from gynae issues either.
clearpassage.com/the-role-o...
probably explains it better than I could. These strands of adhesions though are tough though not very stretchy, they can be torn, and they can tear right off whatever tissues they are attached too which is like pulling a plaster off hairy skin and taking the skin with it. That kind of pain. Just so you have some idea of the level of hurt.
You GF might want to take strong pain killers before having sex, so they have had a chance to kick in and numb any pain she might experience.
I'm afraid there is no real cure or solution but to try different ways to be as comfy as poss while having sex and keep on top of the pain relief afterwards till it has calmed down. Sex is not likely to become a several times a day act, but you might find ways to be able to enjoy it every now and then. Just remember that your GF clearly does want to be intimate with you, but penetretive sex is not necessarily the ultimate goal every time.
As happyslater said and I agree, all the other cuddly stuff is super important too. Just because you two haven't managed to have penetrative sex to both your satisfaction, doesn't mean you right off the experience as an unsuccessful one. If you enjoy each other's company and do manage to spend time together whatever you can manage to do in that time is time well spent.
leave hormone treatment and go for open surgery and better remove ovaries instead of only cyst bcoz it will grow again and u will require another surgery . rest up to u but i think surgery is necessary.
Testosterone-based treatments for endo
Hormonal Treatments
hormonal coil recommended 4 endo. help / advise please <3
First lap and non-hormonal treatment
Endo and fertility treatment 
