Endo and sex...: Hi all, Just a quick... - Endometriosis UK

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Endo and sex...

Haych9
Haych9

Hi all,

Just a quick question...

I've always had some discomfort during sex, particularly if it is deep (sorry if tmi) can often feel like a sharp/dull pain in my stomach, but does anyone find sex aggravates their endo symptoms? I can sometimes get cramping after and discomfort during and have even experienced some bleeding after sometimes, but has anyone found they get pains and discomfort after sex - for example mine appeared to almost 'flare up' after where the next day I began to experience back ache and stomach cramping... therefore making it seem like the endo symptoms are aggravated by sex?

- not received official endo diagnosis, awaiting gyno appointment.

Thanks X

24 Replies
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That's all 'normal' for Endo girls, trust it's not too graphic lol ;) I flare before we've even began sometimes! Find a position you like and stick with it, it's boring but if it means you don't suffer quite so much it's worth it xx

Haych9
Haych9 in reply to xnanookx

Haha thank you for your reply! Sometimes it's fine, others I find myself in agony... rather boring and pain free I suppose! X

xnanookx
xnanookx in reply to Haych9

You need a hot water bottle, if you feel achy during the day make the bottle before u start that way its ready to use when ur finished, loads of foreplay is always an option it's not as deep so less chance of a big flare up, things can be a little rougher then too if u finish deep (trying not too be too graphic lol I hope u follow) u could take pain relief just before they'll kick in just after, it's not very sexy I'll grant u but a little bit of planning goes a long way ;) xx

xnanookx
xnanookx in reply to xnanookx

another thing i learnt quickly, elevate ur hips with a pillow laying on ur back then it's less pressure on ur pelvis xx

Haych9
Haych9 in reply to xnanookx

Amazing, thank you so much! xxx

xnanookx
xnanookx in reply to Haych9

it's awful to try and explain to none sufferers, friends, when they talk about sex and you just don't have the words to explain why it's not fun for you, they look at you with confusion and most assume ur just being a drama queen :( xx

Haych9
Haych9 in reply to xnanookx

It's so true, mine has come on quite suddenly too (not sure if it's been hidden really well and all of a sudden flare up) I only started noticing symptoms because of sex to be honest! I had pain during, some light bleeding and pain after sex so went to the doctor and since then it seems like back, pelvis and groin pain have all appeared within about 5 weeks! It's difficult because I've just started seeing someone new, so even more difficult to explain because it's still early days and I almost don't want him to think it's because of him haha! Xx

xnanookx
xnanookx in reply to Haych9

just be honest, it's all u can do, it's on him then. show him a fact sheet and say i possibly am a sufferer this means i need, just sometimes, a bit of understanding in certain situations i'm not always gonna enjoy sex and that isn't down to u, sometimes i wont be able to cook, clean, go out, honour commitments. sometimes we'll need to make plans ON the day but spontaneity is good it keeps the relationship fresh. he needs to understand that Endometriosis destroys lives, it requires a lot of effort from both of u, he needs to WANT to be there just as much as u want him to be there, otherwise it's just not worth it. u will continue to develop new aches and pains, some come and go others are more of a problem, back pain, groin pain, leg pain, abdominal pain, when it flares it's there and nothing shifts it, the exhaustion is just too much sometimes, and the pain can be excruciating, when things are REALLY bad Peter has to physically carry me to and from the bathroom coz my legs just won't work, my back is crippled and i'm choking on my own vomit, it's not a pretty sight and I cant stress enough EVERYBODY is different, it manifests itself differently in each of us. u just need for him to be aware of the situation, i can honestly say if i hadn't been open and honest about the situation, my condition, every appt he's been there at my side, it's only still working between us coz he understands in detail and he's still clueless we still argue and i still say the nastiest things when i'm in pain, but he understands and that's why we're still together, we would have been over a long time before now if i hadn't xx

xnanookx
xnanookx in reply to xnanookx

u could always show him our conversation, u can private message me xx

Haych9
Haych9 in reply to xnanookx

Thank you so much. You are honestly amazing. Xx

Yes! Cramping after and discomfort during. Would also bleed brown blood during sex and for days after, became constant. It was one of my main symptoms that gp referred me for. Had surgery but Endo progressed anyway, then would have flares following sex coupled with unsexy bloating and unfortunately difficulty walking! (Though I have adenomyosis too so that could be responsible for it). Sorry you're going through this, it just depends on where the Endo is, if they can successfully remove it then you stand a pretty good chance at getting your sex life back to normal, at the very least the bleeding will stop.

Hope you get to see your consultant soon xx

Haych9
Haych9 in reply to applebird

Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and experience with me. I wish you well! Xx

I was dignosed with endo last year and also had aheadions on my pouch of Douglas which glued it to my womb I alway get excruciating pain during ovulation time and week leading up to my period so I normally take my pain relief before me and my husband have sex we also have to use same position all the time as I always get pain deep inside I normally have to use a hot water bottle after sex and I have to put pillow under me to take pressure of my pelvis just be honest with ur partner I'm sure he will understand just like my husband understands me when I get grumpy with him he knows I'm in pain and often leaves me be hope u get on ok and best of luck to u xx

Absolutely can sympathise with all of the above. I have pain, during and after sometimes. I've even had to stop. I think it is about finding what works for you that causes the least amount of pain. It is so common and makes relationships and trying to have a baby really difficult. I would definitely advocate talking to your partner if you can as I didn't in the beginning and just used to make excuses not to have sex (bused such friction in our relationship as you can imagine) but once we talked he was understanding and anyone who cares enough for you will as they Don't want to see you in pain for their pleasure - because let's face it when it's that bad we do not enjoy it.

I really hope you have found some comfort in knowing you aren't alone I having recently joined here it is so nice to talk to people that understand.

💛

Haych9
Haych9 in reply to CeriLou

Thank you for your reply and for sharing your experience with me. It's so comforting to know I'm not alone and as I haven't had an official diagnosis yet puts my mind at ease as to what these bizarre symptoms could be. Thanks a lot xxx

You are most welcome. Good luck with everything! X

I was only diagnosed August last year and had been suffering for 5 years previous and still do everyday. Sex is incredibly painful and you start to become afraid to try because you anticipate the pain, people don't understand the physical and mental anguish endo can cause. Definitely talk to your partner you are a team after all and they need to understand what it is your going through, I have pain practically everyday but elevates around the times of ovulation and periods and I find myself cuddling my hot water bottle more than my fiancée! Reading everyone's replies to your post is fantastic I've never tried putting a pillow under my pelvis and it's definitely something I'll be trying myself but you're not alone and I wish you luck with your appointment and everything! x

Haych9
Haych9 in reply to Kerrykeg

Thank you so much! I wish you well xx

I am still waiting for gynaecologist appointment 2 but I have pain during sex like burning/ripping pain only sometimes and most of the time I have bleeding after its affecting my relationship as we can't be intimate as much as we like. I also get pain in my stomach on the left hand side. Sometimes the pain is worse the next day.

Haych9
Haych9 in reply to laurademi

Sorry to hear you have this issue too! Hopefully you'll get some answers from gyno. I've been nothing but worried as it can be significant of other issues which are more sinister (Google can be the worst for worry) so I'm just hoping for answers! I hope you get some help with your symptoms!!! Wishing you well X

lovelystar
lovelystar in reply to laurademi

You could also try lube/ k y jelly   To make it more comfy for you I hope this works for you

Haych9
Haych9 in reply to lovelystar

Thanks, it's not really a lubrication issue or anything more of a deep pain but thanks for your reply.

Thank you for posting this and for everyone's replies, just reading it all has helped me a lot. I have had two laparoscopys to remove endo and I'm waiting for a Gynecology appointment to most likely arrange a 3rd. I've never read so many posts and forums before and this has helped me so much. It's so hard to explain to other people that don't understand what we go through. I've had endo for 5 years now and most of the time I deal with it just fine, it's when I have massive flare ups that it really gets to me and gets me down. These posts really help. X

Haych9
Haych9 in reply to Zan90

If you ever need a chat feel free to message me!

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