I am very nervous about a new job I am starting which is temporary post, I had to leave my other job due to bullying, I have had a year of counselling and just had my last session this morning, I said to my counsellor I was very nervous and didnt know if I could do this job, before I have been in jobs which haven't worked out and I feel anxious, get tearful and end up in a state, crying and hysterical behaviours. He said I could text him on the day to say I had got myself to work and yes I managed to go which I thought was good. I talked to my counsellor at length about how I was going to spend the rest of the weekend, and on Monday morning I would be getting myself to work, I think I might benefit from having a session a month with my counsellor just for some extra support, I am sure I will be fine but this would just help me. I need this job, I am keeping on my Citalopram as well as I will need this as a back up.
My husband hasn't been supportive in the past but I hope he will be for me in my new role, we have had problems in our relationship and I don't think that has helped my confidence, I went to see a solicitor yesterday, just to get some clarity of we were to split up. His emotional abuse does upset me, shouting and calling me names such as Retard is not right. If my life is not right at home then I can't do my job properly, don't know if this is normal. He does get tired and so do I but it is a 2 way relationship and we both have to do cooking, housework etc, it's not just down to me, he will be cooking all the meals next week as he gets home before me, I have cooked all meals for the last 6 months which I haven't minded I do like being a housewife.
I worry I can't get all the cleaning done but I can only do what I can do in the time given, and with working full time it will get done on a weekend, there is only 2 of us it can't be that hard.
This job will give me an income and it will provide me with some self assurance and self confidence, it will be daunting at first but I am going to give it my best shot