How long it takes to move on, post the breakup? ?

I'm happy for my "ex"as she found a good guy.. however at the same time it hurts a lot to see your love wid someone, feel like to smash that guy and thank as well for taking such a good care.. 2 versions of one heart your jealous and happy.. well I would never forget the moments spent together will cherish all my life just tat I can't tell her so I post it here.. I ruined my life, I know I have done a mistake which can't be rectifed now..

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5 Replies

  • Hello Sandy

    Sadly I am sixty three and I remember my early years, the intensity of youth and the problems that then seemed so difficult to live through, I remember my Youth Club days and the black and white the children seemed to think in.

    My nights out dancing three nights a week and the girlfriends that were just friends I used to dance with when I did not have anyone else that I was having a relationship with. We all felt feelings of broken relationships where we would say to our friends that we would not love again and the hurt all that caused. We always seemed to bounce back and learn from that experience, we never did and we carried on round and round, this part of our lives was what seemed never ending, flustration and love lost.

    Now I remember little bits of that time and sometimes I have been caught out with that cynical smile caused be that intensity and I look around myself. Yes I married, yes I have my Home and Car, not forgetting Pax with his nose up the chimney, and the smell of burning dog and think what was it all about ? When younger I was engaged several times they seemed to last three or four years and I consider now if I did the right thing by having these relationship end, or if my partner at that time did the right thing getting rid of me and managed life without that intense relationship that we both had lost at that time and the answer I give myself is yes I have done the right thing, all relationships are just flashes of light that burn out and the right one will appear on the horizon and we will nearly always live that new relationship with that same intensity, it is all about finding a mate for life hence the intensity We all move on, we have to if not our life most probably would have no meaning.

    If you meet someone, it could be tomorrow, next month or even a year, some people may never meet that right person for years preferring to marry or move in together, and that relationship could fail. We all will pick ourselves up and start again there is always someone else we are compatible with.

    One thing I have never met an ex and wished things had worked between us, I realise all the pain and stress had been there for a reason, one of that pair was wrong for the other and my future life here and now are right, and lifes little disagreements put me in a good place to exploite and live a very heartfelt relationship

    Take life the way it is it prepares you for the goggles and curved balls of relationships and life with the right one, when we find them A long term relationship calms and we carry on together, without that possible intensity, we know how the both of us think and life becomes a wonderful partnership

    Good luck on your life quest, enjoy !!


  • Great post....... I enjoyed reading your philosophies....... It gave me hope too!!

    Ker ;-)

  • Thanx Bob,

    Good to know your story felt nice after reading your post. Well I'm 28 and you have crossed my age with a memorable moments in life the sad part is it was my first serious love, though I had many encounters which were kind of flirty and existed for few months.. I had believed that she was my soulmate, but we were not destined to be together I guess. Well thanks for the insights gave me a hope for future

  • Hi Sandy,

    Let go of the past and live your life with family, friends whatever. I am 57 and have been married 4 times. It took me until the age of 40 to find someone who I could love, loved me back, fulfilled my needs and more importantly that I could live with. Having said that I still have strong feelings for my 1st husband and we are still in touch as we have a child together but we could never have lived together forever.


  • Hi sandy, yes I too have had a break up, tis year will be 6yrs, time is a healer as they say, never did believe it myself until lately, what was, was, but through time it does get easier, hoping some day you will find ur miss right, there's some one out there for every one as they say, (I'm still on the hunt) but you never know when/were you least expect love to turn up, best wishes for the future & hugs:-) xx

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