Hi ,I posted earlier in the week. I was really amazed and pleased with the responses I got. To summarize post I am 55 and have not had "conventional "life; been a lot held back by depression, being withdrawn and I believe not developing completely normally due I believe to rather dsyfunctional family set up. I also have an undiagnosed chronic pain condition which makes life very difficult indeed.
I am however on the surface, young looking attractive, outgoing, sociable (what goes on inside is different!)
So many people on here have boyfriend/partner/husband/friends/ children/ grandchildren.
I would like to know how as an older lady I may go about meeting a genuine nice man or if not get more involved with friends and their families (as I love children but don't have any myself) I look a lot younger than my age, so men of around 40 can seem to show an interest but then I am scared to tell them my age and all of my history as it is all so negative (or a "nothing" really as I was just mainly really withdrawn) and my moods really are quite negative and I would feel be "a burden" for most people. It is hard to know exactly how to put this or if anyone will understand; maybe you can't give me definitive answer. I think like this particularly at the weekends. It's fine doing things like reading, studying, "being independent"; of course it helps but then I feel I need something more:- I don't want to think of being on my own without someone to be close to for the rest of my life.
I find it hard explaining myself to other women as well. Infact to most people I say I am divorced as I don't feel they will understand I never married and I "make up" a sort of "career" as I never had one; however because neither of these things are real it is hard to "go deeper" with them as I didn't really have these experiences.
Is there a "palatable" way of explaining oneself to people and do I need to do that at every stage and in every situation? Saying I'm divorced does make me feel better than saying I never married but then it is not the truth. I have tried saying "I am on my own" but often am pressed for more information.
Going to a class later today where I have said I am "not married"; this has raised a lot more questions and I was asked if I was a "man hater" which I felt was unfair just because I have never been married.
Does anyone else make up that they've been married, or had career or make up anything when they meet people? How did all you people meet your boyfriend/ husband etc. For me I feel it would make all the difference with my depression. If i was still depressed and i had a loving boyfriend not quite sure what I would do.
I can see from reading my own post the actual problems I have in that I feel that myself as I am is not acceptable to the kind of person I want, so that is catch 22 really, I can see that. I know that some of the things I think are probably the same kind of things that a teenage girl would think ; the reason for this is I've missed out on life experience and skills, so apologies if it sounds childish for someone of my age.
Anyone any advice or shared experiences at all?