Due to a series of calamities, some bigger than others, today I went out for the first time in weeks.
Before Christmas I was out of action due to a torn calf muscle. Just as that healed I got a chest infection, which for a serious asthmatic is not nice. Finally, about 3 weeks ago I decided to test out my lungs and went out to see what they could do. They managed a week 4 run (I had been on W5R2 prior to the muscle injury). But, the cold temperature took their toll, my lungs complained and Ventolin was required. Lots of Ventolin. So much Ventolin in fact that 36 hours of tachycardia followed.
I was just recovering from that when the biggest calamity struck me. For the first time in about 10 years, I had a serious short sharp depressive episode. Of the 10 days or so that it lasted, I spent 3 or 4 days being terrified and the other days fighting suicidal thoughts. In hindsight I think I had been quite manic for several weeks running up to my crash. But I don't notice mania at the time, I just enjoy it! Anyway, during this week, the fog has slowly cleared and I decided it was time to get back out there.
I wasn't sure where I should start, so I decided to play W5R2 and see what happened. I also changed my route so that I started my run on a gently sloping decline for encouragement. I think largely due to the slight downward gradient, the first 8 minutes were a doddle, so much so that I carried on for another 2, until I turned the corner and the gradient changed to an slight incline. I walked for the remaining 3 minutes and started running again when Laura told me to. The second run was a different story though. An incline. I only managed 3 and a half minutes. But, No pulled muscles, no Ventolin induced tachycardia and a smile on my face once more.
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earl-grey-sian
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Hi Sian, welcome back, you have done superbly! I haven't run for a week i know when i go Parkrunning tomorrow that will be hard work! So coming back after weeks but me a very daunting task indeed. To go out at all is very brave! Really really well done and keep up the good work, Ed x
Oh Sian, poor you,, sounds as though you have had a really tough time. Thank goodness you have come through it. I hope your running helps - keep it up.
Glad you are now on he other side of such an intense episode Sian. You can slowly, gently build yourself back up physically and emotionally. Hector (hectorshouse) posted about depression last week I think and there was some great supportive sharing which you might find good to read.
I have been using exercise as one of my tools help manage depression for nearly two years so I hope your runs help that fog remain clearer and that you get all the support you need. The folks on here are just lovely as you well know
Nice to hear the lungs and muscles are starting to behave! Happy to see your return and a post fromBid Ed who I have missed also.
Congratulations on your run, and on having your smile back, I didn't realise there were so many of us bi-po runners on here....almost sounds like a track team!! Lol.
Glad you're back, Sian, but sorry you've been having such a rough time. Hopefully you can pick up the running again - gently - and that smile will be back on your face
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