I should be leaping around with joy, feeling amazing and having that post run buzz, especially today because I have completed my graduate run - but...... after 3K of my usual slow running accompanied by hubby (BIG mistake), a chance comment from him made me have a complete and utter melt down and I cried all the way back and had one of those 'I can't breath' panic attacks.
What was it he said 'well its not proper running really is it' Bang went all my self esteem, all my sense of achievement - a deck of cards could not have collapsed more quickly. In fact I am still really tearful just writing this.
It made me question the validity of every single step I have taken on this journey(when I say run all I get is this little voice going 'but its not proper running') and even if I have the right to consider myself a graduate because I have not done it properly.
Just really sad because I have had such a lovely time up to know, but I felt like throwing away all my running stuff and giving up. Then I calmed down a little and have resolved NEVER EVER to run with anyone again. Just me and my little pottery, doddery, walking pace little jog.
I am also sad that my self esteem is so fragile that a thoughtless comment not meant to be hurtful can shake me so much and sad that what should have been a jubilant event has been soured..
I wonder if I will carry on now?
Congratulations to everyone who has graduated this week though..