He's only gone and bloody done it!

[PaulS83]

What d'ya reckon to that then? Last year vs. yesterday.

No more am I zipping along leaving vortices in my wake, with a sonic pop. No longer am I weaving dribble webs from chin to chest. Ne'er again shall I wheeze like a broken accordion.

This man, THIS MAN RIGHT HERE, was overtaken by a glacier. An old man whipped me across the back of the legs with his walking stick to move me aside so he coud overtake at relativistic speeds.

My wife and my Garmin are vying for control of my life. This thing is at me every 10 seconds for one thing or another, 'time to get active', 'strap me to a human'; in the 7 days I've had it, we've had as many arguments. It started throwing my worldly possessions out of the bedroom window at one point while I was profusely apologizing and pledging to up my daily step count, but on yesterday's run, we became one. Like two lost spirits who have roamed the universe for an eternity in inexorable loneliness, who finally stumbled across each other's Tinder profiles and got nasty. Raiding the vegetable rack, kind of nasty.

I looked down at it at one point and saw a beautiful 7:40/km running pace. We shared a moment of ecstasy right there and then. I think I've finally done it. I've got the hang of slow. Let's all share this moment together, it's yours as well as mine.

I kept my stride length short, I managed to nose-breath the entire run and recovered after each interval in a single mouth-breath. I had to shorten my normal running route and it still wasn't short enough...

You know what? I think I could run an ultra at that pace. I think I'll skip a few weeks and give it a shot tomorrow!

Only joking! Hilarious, I know. My God, this installment is in danger of actually being about running.

Happy running you bunch of speedies. Slow the hell down, I am now the self-appointed speed police. I'm practically an expert.

[John_W Graduate Ambassador]

"Raiding the vegetable rack, kind of nasty."

You filthy animal.

[PaulS83 in reply to John_W]

Damn right!

[John_W Graduate Ambassador]

"My God, this installment is in danger of actually being about running."

Careful!

But... re: your JOGGING... nice one. Now go forth and... continue.

[SeeJillRun Graduate]

Woohoo, well done! Glad you’re getting the hang of slow finally, though your slow is around 3 times faster than mine 😂 Keep up the good work! 👏

[PaulS83 in reply to SeeJillRun]

T’was a proud moment: it’s all relative I suppose, I’ve manage to take more than 2:00/km off myself without sawing off a limb...or an appendage.

[SeeJillRun Graduate in reply to PaulS83]

😂😂😂

[Wenderwoo Graduate]

Whoa, hold on whilst I read and re-read this post at least 3 times......I was expecting a mini novel, and my tea hadn't cooled down enough to sip before I'd reached the end! Joking aside, well done on becoming a jogger..... you will finish this at this rate and it would be great to see the G word next to your name 🙂

[PaulS83 in reply to Wenderwoo]

Sincere apologies, a mere blip and I promise revert to sagas immediately. I stubbed my toe this morning, I’m sure I can drag that out for 5000 words

[Wenderwoo Graduate in reply to PaulS83]

Just so long as it doesn't halt your progress this time. I really want to see your W9R3 post, though it might crash the servers 😉

[Alast]

Blimey Paul I was still reeling with word overload (but enjoying the sensation) from your last post and you've gone a whacked another one up. I clearly have a browser problem, it can't be displaying anything like your whole tome, but the important information is in there, you've slowed down, so well done you. Keep it up (well, keep the speed down) and I look forward to your next report.

[PaulS83 in reply to Alast]

I was too emotional to go on. And drunk. I mean, there was a celebration to be had!

[Tartancat Graduate]

I'm so proud of you my boy (pause whilst I wipe a happy tear from my eye).

So brave, so clever, so strong, so ... still faster than me 🐌

[PaulS83 in reply to Tartancat]

I done good. I was incredibly brave through it all with only a minor inner tantrum.

[Jell6 Graduate]

Why have I only just received a notification of this? Has the forum also slowed down ?

I can see you getting beyond week 6 if this continues 🤣

[PaulS83]

HU seems to be doing daft things with notifications actually, glad to hear that it’s not just me, as it so often is.

Pffft, week 6. Marathon.