You told me, I told me, we all told me. Did it work?

[PaulS83]

Hell no.

I had two minutes left of my last W6R1 run when within the space of three steps, I went from fine, to “hmmm, calf is a little bit tight” to it suddenly contracting to the point of implosion, like a dying star.

I stopped and almost upturned a lamppost trying to stretch it out but was condemned to the walk of shame, limping like I’d taken a bullet. And then it started raining for good measure.

I’m still hobbling today. I’m trying to find a way of walking that doesn’t involve putting pressure on my toes but don't appear to be there yet. I thought I was styling it out until the cleaners laughed at me.

The Chinese say:他妈的

The Japanese say:性交

The Romanians say:Dracu

The French say:baiser

The Swedish say:Knulla

The Welsh say:F*ck

The English say:Oh dear

It’s funny how the world works. Before Christmas, I was approached by a company to give a bit of ad-hoc advice and ended up agreeing to sit in a conference call the day my son was born. I had an hour’s sleep inside of me and all the endorphins you’d expect, but just ran off of instinct. I didn’t realise I was being interviewed. There were a few follow-up mails, where I just gave frank opinion and then on Friday I received a call telling me they wanted me on the project ASAP, am I available? You never say no to that question, so I gave them a highly inflated rate expectation and a wish list of T’s & C’s, thinking they’d tell me I was way wide of the mark. Instead I woke up on Monday morning with a draft contract.

The timing is fantastic, I’ve been working under a blanket of frustration for the last year and it’s been radiating across my entire psyche. You’ve got to be happy in your work as you spend so much of your life there. I spend more time with colleagues that I constantly want to garrotte than I do with my family, who I only find mildly objectionable.

So I’ve done it. I’m gawn. Like the wind.

I will be spreading my time between UK, Finland, Poland and Germany, so there’s going to be upheavals galore, but we think it’s worth it.

Last night was the first night I really had to force myself out the door to maintain routine. Normally I’m scratching at the lacquer like a dog who’s desperate to go and paint the lawn, with this hundredweight of stress lifted, I just felt floaty and apathetic. I was suggesting to myself to hang up the Brooks for a couple of weeks until we’re set in our new routine; I couldn't shake mental images of broken legs and shattered skulls cocking everything up but I told myself I was being a bed-wetter and got myself out the door.

A pulled / torn / strained calf isn’t the worst eventuality. It’s frustrating, but the timing of it kind of fits pretty well.

I vow to pick this up where I left off in a few weeks. But I’m not sure I vow to go slower. I’ve told you many, many times. I’m an idiot. Just leave me to it.

Happy running you bunch of flirts.

[Jell6 Graduate]

Excellent news Paul (the job, not the calf strain) Hope that heals quickly.

I look forward to you posting as you tackle new routes in Europe.

Small point of correction, the Welsh would probably say ff*ck, otherwise it would sound like v*ck.

Also, this is not the perfect excuse to keep smoking !!!!!

[PaulS83 in reply to Jell6]

I did a bit of work in north wales (Conwy) and when you walk in the pub, you’re immediately clocked as being English, so everyone switches to speaking Welsh. The problem with that is, where the language hasn’t evolved, every other word is English anyway.

Then 2 little old men had a full on scrap over a zimmer frame they both swore was their’s.

Thank you, I’m looking forward to titling posts “Live from Gdansk”.

[Jell6 Graduate in reply to PaulS83]

My family are Welsh ( I don't speak it) my favourite was a sports/hiking shop in Betws-y-Coed, the signs said Bac Pacio, I loved it.

There are difficulties keeping an ancient language up to date, same happens with French 🙂

[John_W Graduate]

The Spanish say: Joder (haw-der) or Coño (conyo)

PS. I'm English and I definitely do not say "Oh dear".

[PaulS83 in reply to John_W]

See? It's an education, this platform. Multi-lingual swearing is more an more of a pressing issue now that the world is getting smaller. People need the correct tools to travel.

[Oldgirlruns Graduate]

Hi PaulS sorry about the calf but congrats on the new job! Now you know you just have to keep running don’t you? a. It’s probably a law somewhere. b. It’ll give you a bit of structure in the forthcoming chaos that will be your life. c. What better way to get to know a new city than to be running at night in dodgy areas you didn’t know about?

And d. What are the rest of us going to do if we don’t have your posts to read? Good luck!

[PaulS83 in reply to Oldgirlruns]

Thanks OGR.

I make the dodgy areas. There's a distinct correlation between my run routes and a collapse in house prices. Even when I keep my t shirt on.

[Oldgirlruns Graduate in reply to PaulS83]

😂

[John_W Graduate]

" ...I’m not sure I vow to go slower. I’ve told you many, many times. I’m an idiot."

Might explain your calf issue.... #JUSTSAYING

[PaulS83 in reply to John_W]

Of course it does. But an idiot wouldn't repeat. That's the difference. I was on for a PB last night!

[Alast]

Congratulations on the new job, but sorry to hear about the calf problem, now which of those two phrases make you sound like you're not an idiot? As Ogr says, you've got to keep running and more importantly posting, we're all addicted to your writing and need our regular fixes, but we will give a few days grace, just to let your calf heal.

[PaulS83 in reply to Alast]

I'm sure running the streets of Vaasa and Gdansk are going to throw out a zinger or two. They would've never seen anything like me. Not for nigh-on eighty years anyway.

[Nilsam Graduate]

Wow what a post. Amazing news. Go be successful and happy in your new role and take those running shoes up again when you are physically able. 🏃‍♂️👀👍

[PaulS83 in reply to Nilsam]

Thanks. I will do. I'll just let this pull rest for a couple of weeks and take it from there.

[Wenderwoo Graduate]

Good, if not GREAT NEWS, on the job. Sh*t news on the calf, even if it is convenient. It isn’t convenient to us, as we do so enjoy reading your posts. Get yourself sorted, (job and calf) ASAP, as we will miss you 😜

[PaulS83 in reply to Wenderwoo]

Don’t delete this one!

I’m sure running abroad will only ever fuel misadventure. There will be much to mention.

[Wenderwoo Graduate in reply to PaulS83]

I won’t 😊, and we’re all looking forward to hearing of your misadventures!

[Tartancat Graduate]

Well done on the new job Paul! And don't worry about not being able to swear effectively in Europe- in my experience most of them swear in English anyway (though maybe now we've left the EU they will shun our curses and go back to using their own - I think you'll need to conduct a survey and report back to us).

And take care of that leg - you know the drill by now!

[PaulS83]

Haha. Yes, I know the drill!

I'll write up an outline procedure for swear-testing and report back for approval.

[ktsok Graduate]

That’s great news! Well done. Let’s hope you don’t want to garrotte this lot. My calf took a week to recover, and the upside of the injury was I (finally) managed to run slower than usual because I was nursing it - it’s rubbish, limping through life. Perhaps it will inspire you to find your inner snail. Hope it all goes well for you x

[PaulS83 in reply to ktsok]

You know what? I quite suit a limp. Nobody wants their Frankenstein to be jauntily river dancing.

I think this one is a two-week minimum lay-up. I need to keep hold of the Tiger’s tail though as I’m so easily distracted. I’m worried I’ll end up becoming a crochet zealot in that time and forget about this.

Thank you, it’s an exciting opportunity and back to what I used to do and love. Let’s hope the Finnish appreciate the management model of “The beatings will continue until morale improves”

[ktsok Graduate in reply to PaulS83]

Oh yes, the Finns love all that stuff, I hear. Aren’t they the happiest nation in the world when they aren’t depressed? It’ll be all smiles and toasting one another with vodka and naked saunas 🙂

[PaulS83 in reply to ktsok]

I certainly hope so 👀

[ButtercupKid Graduate]

Your partner has just had a baby and you’re off to work in four different countries ? I hope she’s got a really forgiving nature ! All the best with everything to both of you. Especially her !

[PaulS83 in reply to ButtercupKid]

She’s practically chasing me out the door!

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to PaulS83]

Oh no ! Well, hopefully she’ll have forgiven you by the time you get back 😄