I, dozzer19, am truly discombobulated! How come no one pointed out I'd misspelled 'discombobulated' into the shortcut setting of my ipad?

[dozzer19]

I've only just realised! I am aghast, ashamed, traumatised. Never again will I be able to hold my head high amongst my troops. Anguish!

[AncientMum Graduate]

As you are considering to be the 'Fount of all Knowledge' on all things discombobulated, none of the troops would dream of questioning your authority. Obviously, the dictionary is wrong! (Alternatively, nobody noticed because we're not that good at spelling!) Quick delete the tread before anyone notices your confession.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

Possibly everyone already knew what was coming at the end and didn't read that far. Or possibly they didn't care in the first place so didn't read it.

[Ullyrunner Graduate]

It's because we're all discombobulated too and we follow your lead without question!

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to Ullyrunner]

Ullyrunner (triathlete), thank you for your support in my time of need!

[Realfoodieclub Graduate]

I'm dyslexic, so I would not of noticed and like everyone else would never correct.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to Realfoodieclub]

Such a following of dedicated troops is a wonder to behold. (I do have to imagine the vision bit of that though.)

[Madge50 Graduate]

Are you sure dozzer? I am not convinced, leaving the 'ob' out of discombobulated may not be an error on your part, but the indication of higher thinking and creation of a new word, oh such leadership and cerebral powers! Not least focussing on the physical challenge of the dozville triathlon, truly inspirational. Winny and Monty would be proud!

M.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to Madge50]

Cerebral - I like that one. In the next CV I think.

[MarkyD Graduate]

As self-appointed cultural attache, I have to report that the acronym 'OB' is frequently used to represent the phrase 'Oh B*****cks' in some what-I-call social media interweb things. I just thought that you were being polite.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to MarkyD]

Ahh, so I must stop using the word 'oblate' as people will think I actually mean 'oh crikey, sorry I wasn't here on time'

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to MarkyD]

Anyway, when are you going to complete said triathlon? Your charity needs your money. If you refuse to compete and complete you must at least pay your charity donation and go in dispatches for that. No shame.

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Last time I write a shortcut in the evening!

[PilgrimPip Graduate]

This is a very funny thread (or even 'tread' and not at all what I expected from a bunch of runners! How wrong I was!

Back to business, for a mo, please could you refresh my memory about the triathlon challenge? I only became aware of its existence earlier this week and wasn't sure I could do the swimming part (mostly because I had indoor swimming pools) but I think I have detected some flexibility in the rules?

Looking forward to your reply, oh fount of all knowledge.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to PilgrimPip]

Oh PilgrimPip, how far have your travels taken you? You never get anything sensible from us. Or maybe these people are sensible away from me, who knows.

I'm not at all sure my troops are runners at all. They spend all their time on the injury couch eating Jammie Dodgers and drinking Vimto. With me as their leader I'm not surprised.

How many indoor pools do you have? You do sound to be a cut above the rest of us if you have more than one of your own.

Run 30 mins, bike 30 mins, swim 30 mins. Indoor, outdoor, personal equipment, council equipment, pool, sea, any combination.

Of course there is flexibility. We have Madge50 who couldn't swim so she hula hooped instead. She is now Second Lieutenant Madge50 (hula hooper extraordinaire, triathlete) Lieutenant Spoonierunning (veterinary corps, triathlete) had her pets do it for her. She's a Lieutenant so she gets even more exemption from the exact rules.

Are you with us - you have time, if you have the determination. What sporting ability do you have for us?

(I was wondering about the 'tread' too.)

[PilgrimPip Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

Hmmph. More haste, less speed. I meant that I hate indoor swimming pools. I blame it on an idyllic childhood in sunny climes where I learned to swim in the sea.... but the sea is far from Cambridge and the pools here are indoor ones. So. I can cycle. I can run. Or at least I can jog. Does gardening count? Not the gentle weeding kind, but the digging and lifting and shifting kind? Or, as I attempted this morning, those fat-burning, flab-eradicating youtube workouts? I was exhausted after the 'easy' seven minute one! How often must said triathlon be performed and does it have to be completed in a single one and a half hour burst of energy?

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to PilgrimPip]

Each part done once only, separate days if you want, intense gardening sounds as though it could pass muster, or thirty mins regular aerobics if you'd prefer.

[PilgrimPip Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

Ok - I accept the challenge. Maybe you could add the gardening division?! And I won't forget the £1!

Better drag myself away from the laptop and get outside now!

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to PilgrimPip]

Excellent stuff.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to PilgrimPip]

Oh, and £1 to your favourite charity.

[teabreaks Graduate]

This made me lol. You're all a bunch of nutters

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to teabreaks]

As Captain poppypug (ents and haberdashery div, triathlete) would say - Pah!

[teabreaks Graduate]

hahahahahahahaha!

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Oh, there you are. Worse than shabby, truly humiliating.

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Lieutenant Spoonierunning is now a triathlete! It's so exciting - she got the pets to do it for her!

[poppypug Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

Oh well done Spoonie (triathlete), Ferd (triathelete) and Bunnies (triatheletes) xxx

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Yes, your EGM chances will arrive in the future, I'm sure.

[dozzer19 Graduate]

I know you only just got here but I must away. Night pop and pups and bird

[MarkyD Graduate]

We can all admit to smelling pistakes, so don't worry Doz.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to MarkyD]

Yes I suppose so. No man is infallible.

[waletta Graduate]

I didn't know it was a real word. I thought you'd made it up. My face is redder than yours. This could be a new competition with red faced selfies. I am not serious about that last bit. I have bad knee after your last great idea so no more for a while. I am attached to couch. ADC feeding me chocolate. I may never get off again. The couch is my friend. I do miss your couch to 5k posts though. The ones when you were working your way through those nine crazy weeks.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to waletta]

Oh, seems the triathlon finished us both off. Good for the ADC, returning home to tend to her mother. I will repeat those nine weeks, enough of that silly serious exercise. Hello ADC!

[waletta Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

ADC says hello back - She's in the kitchen doing the dishes. Bliss.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to waletta]

She is a good ADC, you've brought her up well!