The great Calvin ignores their pleas for mercy and the doomed writhe in agony!

[dozzer19]

(Tuesday) Decided to have a short run to the baths yesterday - it's not that far. I was going to wear a bag on my head but Second Lieutenant lizziebeth57 (supplies div) advised against it. Instead my cunning plan to remain incognito rested on borrowing a hood from Oliver Stone.

Obviously I didn't borrow one in Oliver's usual colour range as it wouldn't coordinate with the onesie. I think I got away with it. Vision was limited but I disguised Ferd as a crocodile (I hope that's ok) and followed him. A barking croc was unusual but round here it's odd at the best of times.

Swimming photo shows Ferd guiding me through masses of other swimmers/body parts. He's the green croc. Other dangerous animals were causing havoc.

[poppypug Graduate]

Ha ha, Dozz you have really surpassed yourself this time ! Look at you in the red onesie I crocheted for you, complete with Lycra inserts and invisible go faster stripes. I hope the hood didnt mess up your glorious quiff .

Good Boy Ferd ! Woof Woof

Dozz- Shine on you Crazy Diamond xxx

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to poppypug]

Yes, the co-ordinating hood and barking dog kept all around me unaware of my presence. Once again, total success for your leader.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to poppypug]

Must return elf - read tomorrow's post for explanation. No time to chat tonight. Night pop and pups and fish and bird.

[frannyfran Graduate]

I vote we award a medal to Ferd!

[misswobble Graduate in reply to frannyfran]

Crikey it's carnage! Going to the baths was never that exciting in my neck of the woods. The lifeguard would deffo blast his whistle at those shennanigins!

Maybe he did but he got eaten!

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to misswobble]

I do remember Ron, at about 65, being brought to task by the lifeguard for trying to climb on top of one of the in-pool fountains. Good job Sauron wasn't there!

[waletta Graduate]

Now that's worrying. Very worrying.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to waletta]

Oh you know me Major Waletta - no shame, just fear of identification.

[lizziebeth57 Graduate]

Was it a public pool or were you swimming elsewhere - the zoo for instance? You look pretty relaxed doing the backstroke and Poppypug's crochet work has served you well. You are definitely leading us from the front with the swimming Dozzer, not letting any distractions, even widespread carnage, get in the way of your swim!

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to lizziebeth57]

Second Lieutenant lizziebeth57 (supplies div) I love a challenge. Where all around came to pieces I fought on. I know no fear.

[AncientMum Graduate]

Which side is the shallow end for me and KittyKat? We're the 1Length Water Wimps and we need arm bands, woggles and polystyrene floats

[AncientMum Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

And preferably very few crocodiles because we won't be able to get out of the way very quickly. Is Ferd trained in life saving and crocodile scaring?

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

I'm not sure about Ferd's life-saving skills. I'll try and get a lifeguard in the rescue boat next time.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

Second Lientenant AncientMum (ents div) shallow end is in foreground of picture. I'm not sure your woggle disguises will be effective or are the purely decorative.

[AncientMum Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

Lol! Woggles are those long thin swimmy, floaty things children use when they're learning to swim. We probably need at least 2 each

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

Ah. I thought you meant Scout neckwear.

[MarkyD Graduate]

Nasty rash you have there on your chest, Doz. Something to do with the octopus?

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to MarkyD]

Cultural Attaché MarkyD, that's the contrasting crochet pattern on the onesie, not a rash. I don't swim with jellyfish - that'd be dangerous.

[Ullyrunner Graduate]

Crikey! I think I'm going off the swimming element ....

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to Ullyrunner]

Ullyrunner, do not fear. Your supreme leader (I changed my name) allows no harm to come to triathletes. We have a guardian angel on our side - he keeps missing the photo though.

[ginbin Graduate]

Well, oh great supreme leader, perhaps you should have picked a less obvious color, as to not have attracted too much attention. My thinking is that the crocodile is much like the bull that gets quite out of control at the sight of the color red. But I do notice a life raft in the foreground. Well done though...one-third of the way completed for our Discombobulated Triathlon !

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to ginbin]

gin bin it's alright. Like the bag on the head, the red hood rendered me completely invisible! Quite like this swimming bit, may do it again.

[ginbin Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

Rock on, dozzer! Swimming is still the best all-around exercise.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to ginbin]

Aye, pretty pricey round here - will try to give up the Kim Jong-Uns to save the money

[ginbin Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

Actually, the pool I use is my friend's pool. She doesn't swim but she keeps it for friends and family. I used to take care of it for her and I have a key to her place so I can go in anytime I want.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to ginbin]

Lucky you!

[Beek Graduate]

Oh My! Laughing all the way! I love these threads - they just get madder and madder.

You CRAZY people!

[AncientMum Graduate in reply to Beek]

Are you signed up for the triathlon Beak? I know you're injured but could you swim, cycle and walk very vigorously for 30minutes each? I'm going to struggle to do the run, the state my knee's in at the moment, but I reckon if vigorous paddling is acceptable for non swimmers, then vigorous walking should probably be acceptible for injured runners

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

Second Lientenant AncientMum (ents div), as long as you're making the forward effort that's fabulous.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to Beek]

Hope you're training well for the triathlon, NCO Beek.