This week I had a body crises. I have a week off work and we were going down to watch the D-Day celebrations on the sea front.
I thought I would wear a nice pair of jeans, rolled up with some flat pumps and a nice vest top. I took a pair from my wardrobe, a bit tight around the thighs and waist, picked out a pair I knew fit me, again too tight around the thigh and for some reason sitting lower than usual and again tight around the waist.
I cried, I cried a lot. I am now down to one pair of jeans from about 7 and not because I have managed to slim but because despite my best efforts, i am getting bigger.
I drank alcohol and ate cake like the world didn't matter last night.
Today I didn't want to run, after all what is the point? Why put myself through all of this if I am going to come out of it worse than when I started?
I would normally go out around 5.30-6.00 pm with my son and follow the programme around the local cemetery, instead I was out at my dads for dinner until around 9pm.
When I got home my son was asleep and I felt that I was wrong and I really needed to run. I had come this far, what had I got to lose, I was letting myself down.
I ran upstairs, donned my running attire and left the house, took a whole new track. Listened to music as I didn't have the company.
Dare I say? It was the best run I think I have had to date!!!!!!
My final run of week 4 was awesome, it was warm, getting dark and I really just thoroughly enjoyed it.
So ... Back of negative thoughts. I can do this, I will do this.