Well I woke up this morning..... (that sounds like the beginning of a rhythm and blues song?)......and went to my special running gear drawer - (YES! I have a designated running gear drawer folks!) and got dressed. Unfortunately my Super Clingy Grabby Trousers were in the laundry so I donned my baggy jogging pants and popped downstairs for some Power Juice.
Annoyingly lately, I've had a bit of a pain in my left leg - or rather DOWN my left leg. It tends to disappear once I'm about 200-300 metres into my run but having done a bit of Dr. Googling on't t'internet I thought I'd be careful with it. I sure as hell don't want another bloomin' injury goddamn it!. I've been doing calf stretches on it, you know the sort, on the edge of a step and then dropping down about 20 times in a row, to STRRRRRRETTTCH the muscles plus I've been using the old PINK foam roller on it too. However this morning it was twingeing again and I got nervous about running on it. So......this morning I thought I'd go for a brisk 4K walk instead.
Mrs Dan was doing her thing in the front room to an exercise DVD and I bid her farewell as I opened the door - "Bye Squidgy plops! See you later" I yelled. Then exactly 5 seconds later I came back in to the house - "I'm baaaack!" I said. "Aren't you going? What are you doing for gawwwds sake?". It had started to team with rain and I was bu***red if I was going out walking in the rain and ruining my hair! So what to do?
Aha! (as Alan Partridge says). I had a brilliant idea. I popped outside into the garden and into my shed where I retrieved my mini trampoline. I hadn't used the darned blighter for over a year so today was the day for a "re-visit"! I set it up (as in "I put it on the kitchen floor") and set the oven timer for 30 minutes. Bunged on the radio & tuned in to LBC 97.3 where the generously rotund Nick Ferrari was spouting off about something or other - and off I went.
Luckily the trampoline didn't hurt my leg as the squodgyness of it was gentle on the joints and I completed my half hour jogging bounce, sweating like sort of farm animal! After a few calculations I worked out I'd burned about 200 calories. Not much and certainly nowhere near the 600 odd I burn on a lengthy run, but still enough to make me feel I'd done something to day exercise wise.
SO fellow runners - if your joints are being a bit middle aged (like mine) and you want to give them a rest from the hard pounding of the pavements, get yourself a one of these wee trampolines. You can sweat like a mutha and it's kind to your legs. It's nowhere near as super duper as jogging outside and going for a proper run, but they're fairly small and you can store them without the house looking like a gym!
Until the next episode of "What Will Dan Do Next Whilst Wearing Skin Tight Lycra?" tune in hear, to Health Unlocked Dot Com!
TA ra
Dan.
Plus I don't want to go outside, the weather is too crap!
I went to Lidl too.......and I bought......😂
