my son helped everyone- he was top of all his college & university courses ). Didn’t take drugs - healthy 40 his death is down as undetermined - can’t live not knowing how the heck he died !
son has passed - death undetermined -... - Bereavement Care ...
son has passed - death undetermined - can’t move on when no one knows how he died - he was 40 in good health - no drugs occasionally drank
Written by
RIDGEBACK
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.
14 Replies
•
kenster1Volunteer
so sorry to hear of your beloved son god bless you and the family and may he rest in forever peace.
Thank you ! Daughter coming over fr Canada for funeral - shock is our main reaction? Ur reply was soo kind !
Thanks - comment appreciated ! Funeral parlour said they might never know what killed him : that soo sucks - not one 4 swearing but sheesh I’m close
I am so sorry to hear about the death of your son. That must be heartbreaking.
I am in the UK too and am a bit confused what you say about the funeral home. They are nothing to do with the death per se as they only arrange the funeral.
I am also confused by your mention of toxicology as I have never heard this this referred to in UK deaths? Is it a separate department or something?
This is determined by the doctor and if an autopsy is carried out which is usual in the case of undetermined death then it will be based on those findings.
I hope you find some answers soon. I wish you all the best,
I’m so sorry to read this. What an awful shock for you & your family. I guess sometimes there isn’t a definite diagnosis. Would your pain be less if you had an explanation. I’m guessing not but understand exactly where you’re coming from. Such early days. For now focus on yourself & your family. Take care sending love & hugs x
Thanks ! Appreciate ur reply : toxicology may not give any answers ! Feel soo angry - he would help anyone - give his all to make life better for others yet there is soo many vile people in prison - I’m sure I’m not the first or last to say it’s not fair ! Thanks again - ur post def helped this morn x
Your so right life isn’t fair. My daughter used to say life’s a b*tch & then you die & I would reply life is what you make it. Many many times I think I got that wrong . I’m no longer angry it doesn’t help but I’m much further down the rd than you
Take care x
Glad u got there ! So pleased u took time to reply ! Kinda not doin good ! Know if I ask 4 medical help I’ll be stuck in triage for hours put on drip stuck on vitamins & left to rot. No thanks - why is there nowhere u can be takin to grieve without the horrendous restrictions put on humans coming thru the door - that has to change.
I am terribly sorry for your loss. Ridgeback.This is heartbreaking...
I agree with you, there should be a place where people can turn to when they don't want to be alone while they are grieving.
I don't know if you tried to call any of the helplines. Some places have face to face contact only if you choose to talk to a compassionate counsellor.
They remain anonymous and they will never send you to a hospital.
I know of Samaritans but there are other helplines in the UK.
I am not from the UK but I've read about them.
Would you be prepared to give it a try?
I wish you find easing of your grief...
chloe40Administrator
Hello and a very warm welcome RIDGEBACK
How absolutely devastating news for you. The shock is massive and not knowing why he died compounds your grief.
I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now, so soon after your loss but I am sending my support.
Please pop in as often as you wish, our members are a very friendly Community if people who have been or are in your position x
Chloe
I'm so sorry and can't imagine the devastation and shock you and your family are going through. I'd want to know too, what happened, and how. I understand but please remember to take care of yourself and prioritize you and your family. Life can be so hard. Pray when and if you can, to find the answers you seek about your son's early demise.
Thank you : my daughter is coming back fr Canada where she emigrated to last oct - she’s in bits ! Will show her ur post - again thanks
we all think ending our lives snd joining them is the answer. What can I say. It’s normal. But it will pass, not soon snd it will come back again. Just know we’re here for you and your family. Such a truely devastating read, unbearable situation. Be strong. Take each dsy, hour, minute as it comes. Here 24/7. 🦊x
How to answer you——
I’ve felt how you’re feeling many many times. One day I felt so bad I just didn’t know what to do with myself,so I drove to the cinema went in & said I want to see a film any film. I sat in the cinema & felt safe from myself. I felt calmer when I came out. I’d parked on double yellow lines on a busy road by traffic lights nowhere near the kerb. How it wasn’t towed away I don’t know but that’s how bad I felt. Gps will help if only to get some sleeping pills so as you can have some rest bite. I know it’s hard but I found fresh air & exercise really helped & still does. I was fortunate that my nephew came over everyday for a while to make fresh soup for me as I was finding it difficult to swallow. So why didn’t I follow my daughter because of my love for my sons -husband -sister -nephews & friends. Does that mean I love them more than my daughter no it means I loved them enough not to inflict more pain on them & im sure that would show them that they were as important as she was. It’s hard but given time you’ll learn how to adjust & live a different life. You CAN do this x
The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.
Not what you're looking for?
You may also like...
5 years since my dad passed
couldn’t beat his addiction or he’d still be here today. Oh how I wish he could know my son, his...
10years this month, I thought it was getting easier……
leading up to the anniversary of his death as I do this month. I often find his birthday worse than...
Devastated at loss of my husband
& back in our 34 years but he never mentioned taking his life. He left letters for my boys & I...
Dad, grandad and nanna
felt losing his son especially as before I was born his other son committed suacide. This man was...
My step fathers family have no shame
end of his life to cut me out his will too they say he left all his and my mums savings to HIS...
Related Posts
Grief and the New Widow
Losing a much loved animal.
How to get over witnessing traumatic end of life
Lost my husband 20 months ago 
Impending death of friendModeration team
chloe40Administrator