Bereavement counselling

[Lizzy-m]

I lost my wonderful hubby in September, 3 weeks after his diagnosis of Oesophageal cancer. I'm devastated 💔. I also lost nephew 3 weeks ago, I was with him when he passed. I've gone back to work trying to get on with things. I had my first Counselling session on Friday. I had to go back to the Hospice, where my husband died, for this as it is provided by them. My problem is , and I'm hoping someone will be able to help me, I've felt absolutely dreadful since this session. Not much happened during it I really just tried to tell my story in between my tears. I feel so much worse now than I did before I went. Is this normal? Am I supposed to feel this bad before feeling better ? I am so grateful for this service but I'm worried about going back for my next session, in case it makes me feel like this again, it's due the week before Christmas, which I'm sure isn't going to be very easy anyway 😕. Any words of advice please ? Sending love ❤️

[kenster1 Volunteer]

hi so sorry to hear of your losses both are recent and it`s ok to cry it would be even if it was years ago.the shock of your partner and his illness is hard enough but only 3 weeks later he passes so the whole process must be really difficult to take in.I think you should continue and as the weeks pass it will become easier but this Christmas will be hard as it`s your first.do make sure you have family or friends close to hand and you can always pop on here as well maybe even try for an appointment in between Xmas and new year or ask for a phone appointment.hopefully your work place are looking out for you I hope they are sorry to here about your nephew as well.

[Lizzy-m in reply to kenster1]

Thank you so much for your kind reply. I will continue with the counselling. I need to st least try it a few times. I've got family around me thankfully. I'm not I'd be here if I didn't have. X

[lovetodance2018]

Hi Lizzy, I am so sorry to hear about all your losses. My heart aches for you. It is necessary to cry and allow yourself time to grieve. Many churches have grief support, I would highly recommend reaching out for that support. Do you have family and friends that you can reach out to? I am glad you went to counseling, it will take several sessions until you feel a bit better. Give yourself time to feel better, it won't happen overnight. My prayers will be with you. Hugs and God Bless

[Lizzy-m in reply to lovetodance2018]

Thank you x

[Caza]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Such a short time ago & your nephew as well, so hard for you. My daughter & sister died within a short time of each other. It’s tough. At the time I know I couldn’t have spoken to a counsellor. It would have been much too painful & I know it would have sent me over the edge. Ive never been able to talk about how why & in what way my daughter died. It’s the right way for me. As for my sister I talked to my friends & family.

For lots of people it works for them. Do what makes you feel comfortable. Christmas is tough maybe you can restart afterwards if you want to.

Take care

[Sandradsn]

I'm so sorry for your loss.My mum died from cancer of the oesophagus just at the start of the pandemic.I do regret not having counselling, it was lockdown and everything was about covid.I then lost 2 other loved ones.I bottled all my grief inside.I could of had online or telephone counselling but felt it wasn't for me.I hate speaking on the phone anyway.

It is such early days for you still.Maybe go back for the next session, its someone to let your feelings out to,other than family.My daughter and I cried together alot but then I felt I needed to be the strong one and stopped showing my grief.I'm thinking of you at this really difficult time xx