memorial

[Caza]

I was at a get together for my lifelong friend yesterday. He chose not to have a funeral. I don’t know what to make of it really. There were no nice words or music just a drink in a section of a pub. His adult children were lovely & welcoming but it just didnt feel like I was saying goodbye to my friend. I myself have opted not to have a funeral & have paid upfront for a pure cremation but now I’m having second thoughts. Thoughts anyone???

[MedicaMahnJahm]

yeah. how do you do proper memorial diligence to a soul among us, now departed? Certainly kind words, old stories, pictures could have been shared.... not sure his kids knew what to do, or even cared, possibly.

when you are gone, what do you want at your funeral? you want people to stop all their busy lives and take time to remember you, share stories of you, acknowledge your existance properly, and wish you well on your next journey. Depending on your religious preferences a priest might say those magical words and commit you to the creator.

but mostly you want folks to remember you, that you were here, doing this and that, etc.

It's all OK, what you want to do.

please share a story of your lost friend.

[Caza in reply to MedicaMahnJahm]

I met him when I was seventeen. I joined the company he worked for. We became firm friends with our love of spurs. I think he would’ve liked for us to become more than friends but he was quite a bit older than me & I never saw him as other than a friend. He taught me to drive took me for meals etc.. protected me from the married guys. He met his wife through my sister & we all became firm friends. We would now & again sneak off & spend the day together without our partners it was all very innocent. We spent Christmas’s holidays together without our partners our many children. Great memories great times. Then my daughter died. I was warned off by their now grown up daughter to keep away from the family as they found it all too upsetting. I was as you can imagine deeply hurtful. So I did as I was asked & kept away.

Just lately we’ve been together for weddings & funerals so we started seeing them now & again. We were due to see them just less than a week after he died which was unexpected. So there you have it. I don’t think they ever knew what their daughter had said & now it’s too late.

There was photos on show but you couldn’t really see them. I don’t think the children knew what to do.

[Caza in reply to Caza]

Sorry that should of said with our partners & many children

[MedicaMahnJahm in reply to Caza]

Thank you for the details.

Finding a real human connection in life, sans sex, is one of the best things of this existence. So very rare. A gift.

He lives on in your memory in ways his family will never know. That's OK.

Life can be cold and reckless, and memories are fleeting. It would be great to share those memories with his family, but it sounds like that is not possible.

So, keep him in your heart and share an occasional conversation with him if you feel so inclined.

I used to write/produce music a while back. Found a song on my phone that might resonate with some of your feelings.

Go here: drive.google.com/drive/fold...

Find this song: 15_While There Is Time.mp3

Take care.

[Caza]

will give it ago. Thank you. No not one to share with anyone