Not sure if anyone else has experienced this but a relative of mine sadly passed away four years ago but due to various unusual circumstances and the myriad of administration procedures, logistics that come with a death of a loved one, I went out of my way to distract myself as much as possible in order to resolve everything. The person's death was traumatic and sudden. Now the pandemic has brought everything, and I mean absolutely everything to the surface.
Flashbacks, anger, tears everything has visited me. It's as though, I'm reliving what took place leading up to her final moments. Quite similar to the ghosts that appear in Charles Dickens' Scrooge. Even more so is that my loved one passed away with severe breathing difficulties and I witnessed the ENTIRE process. It's definitely not how they depict it in those Hollywood movies. So hearing and watching people discuss their symptoms and the tragic loss of their loved ones on the news, has triggered an enormous amount of empathy but its as though, I'm reliving the entire chapter. The bereavement process has started.
I've always said that if there was a tablet I could take for about a month that would allow you to by-pass the grieving process, I would be the first in the queue. It's uncomfortable. The emotional pain that you feel is unbearable. You also feel like you're a walking zombie. You can't sleep. You lose weight. You are stuck in time, almost.
I'm going to stick with it, as coronavirus has given me no choice but to. Possibly, this has happened for a reason as maybe, I'm strong enough to face it but I'm just not sure as I'm approaching the most difficult and most harrowing part of the flashbacks.
Has anyone found that the lockdown has brought up a lot for them (bereavement wise)? If so, how are you coping?