Have your eating habits changed since... - Bereavement Care ...

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Have your eating habits changed since your loss?

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator
21 Replies

A rather odd question you may think, but I believe most of us don't cook in the same way we did before our loss and some may not bother cooking as such at all, so what do you do about your meals now?

Chloe

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chloe40
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21 Replies
kenster1 profile image
kenster1Volunteer

with my son and mum my eating changed for the worst for ages but with my dad its remained more or less the same.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply tokenster1

Thanks for your reply kenster1

Do you cook for yourself Kenny? Just wondering whether some of us don't go to the trouble that's all.

Chloe

kenster1 profile image
kenster1Volunteer in reply tochloe40

COOK never away from cookers its all I seem to do either in my own home or when I am over with my aunt.love cooking though terrible at making stew mind you.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply tokenster1

Great to hear kenster1 Kenny

Stew? we'll have to find a recipe for you!

Chloe <3

Nathalie99 profile image
Nathalie99

I wasn't able to eat much if not at all after significant losses, Chloe.

I think the stress impacted my stomach making it impossible to eat.

When I got through the worst, I could eat again.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply toNathalie99

Yes, I completely understand that Nathalie99

It's such a difficult time and I'm the same if I am under stress then my stomach knows about it. x

Chloe <3

Hi Chloe, this is a very complex and multi faceted situation, where grieving and self worth are all interacting and combined with stress it's a recipe for a disaster.

A really good test of our own self worth after a tragic loss into look in our own fridge...

So we have to tell ourselves that we are worth it and our loved ones would not want us to suffer which's easier said than done so we need support mechanisms to remind is that we are worth making an effort for.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to

I like you thinking Hidden

Food for thought as they say :-)

Chloe

SailingBy2 profile image
SailingBy2

Well I certainly lost weight after my husband died. I was already slowly losing weight and continued doing so on a slightly steeper curve. It wasn't so much cooking differently as just eating when and what I wanted without having to consider the other person for timing and quantity.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Hi SailingBy2

Thank you for your reply.

I think eating as and when it what a lot of us do, but I would like to get back to proper meal times if possible, as I think I'd eat all the wrong things if I didn't.

Chloe

Buzzytruk profile image
Buzzytruk

The first month after I lost my dear husband I can't remember what I ate,

If anything at all.... . But I have lost weight. Then I remember eating snack meals followed by supermarket ready meals. These were a blessing. Easy to cook in only a few minutes ..

Now seventeen months on I do cook. Meat is fresh but a lot of foods come from the freezer, even the roast potatoes.

It's only been the last week or two that I stated to make gravy.

I still have the odd ready meal, and my chips are wonderful.

But I still throw more potatoes away than I use.

Jo.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply toBuzzytruk

Hi Jo Buzzytruk

Now your reply sums up what I thought most of us would do, so thank you for that. Your chips sound yummy! :-)

Chloe

GoGo_JoJo profile image
GoGo_JoJo

Actually, yes.

Given that my father died at 56, and my mother 62, I became a little fixated on not getting ill later in life. Their diet (although they were both slim and looked fit) played a part. Very heavy on meat, cheese and rich foods. I did a fair amount of research and my husband and I both cut all animal products from our diet in late 2018.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Thanks GoGo_JoJo

My that was young,

So pleased you did your research and have followed it through Jo!

Chloe <3

Daniellesparkles profile image
Daniellesparkles

Well I’m crying more and I’m more 2:48pm

Greyone profile image
Greyone

My sister and I had to cook for our mum so it was always quick, easy and filling. Except for Sunday when mum and I used to cook a joint together. That was always fun and I could always keep mum interested by testing the meet for me.

A 'few' years ago my doctor got me to lose weight and that focused my mind on cooking and eating. I sort of kept it up but still do simple micro meals for myself. So I have a good interest in simple micro meals. I sometimes like to experiment with my cooking and I support in some ways it is directly and indirectly because of losing mum.

I'm old enough and interested enough to think of cooking as an 'interest' now.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply toGreyone

That's really good that you have that interest Greyone

makes life a little easier, and you know what you're eating of course.

Chloe

JOLLYDOLLY profile image
JOLLYDOLLY

Yes they have changed and you are right about the cooking. I did binge eat for a while, eating stupid stuff I would not normally eat. But now I have not got the appetite I once had. I do not cook puddings or cakes much these days as it cuts me like a knife. Jen loved to watching the Big Bake Off and she would always say "make that tomorrow" alas my talents are not that good lol. But in a way fortunately, we have had to change our eating habits due to health reasons for my hubs, so certain food categories are a no no. I make the favourites but not as often. The only definite one I will always make, is apple pie, our Jen's all time favourite and I will make a vanilla/jam sandwich cake on her birthday in her memory.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply toJOLLYDOLLY

Hi JOLLYDOLLY <3

I can understand that and I think our appetite is often lower too. Lovely to her about Jen and her love of Bake Off Dolly, she obviously appreciated her your offerings hmmm...

I don't bake any cakes these days and that's mainly because I'd have to eat it and well more weight!

I do love apple pie too! an absolute favourite of mine and Jen' too.

Lovely thought that you bake sponge cake to celebrate her memory, that's really nice Dolly.

Take good care of yourself.

Chloe

JOLLYDOLLY profile image
JOLLYDOLLY in reply tochloe40

Can't beat apple pie can you Chloe40!? My hubs bought a pastry book I had always wanted for Christmas - a slight hint there lol So I will make a apple pie in May on her Angel Anniversary and vanilla sponge in April on her birthday.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Lovely Dolly and love the term 'Angel Anniversary <3<3

A pastry book? sounds interesting, love the details some time please.

Chloe

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