Has your loss changed you as a person?

[chloe40]

It may seems obvious but I was thinking about this earlier and yes, for me loss most definitely has changed me.

Apart from the expected changes, I feel I have changed in my outlook and temperament.

Have you changed?

Chloe

[kenster1 Volunteer]

never been the same person since my son died.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to kenster1]

Yes @Kenny kenster1

I can't imagine your pain Kenny, but I can understand that for those who have

lost a child, life never returns to what was normal for them or their family x

[Sandradsn in reply to kenster1]

I'm sorry Kenny,it must be heartbreaking losing a son,thinking of you.

[Bingofox007]

my temperament has definitely changed. My daughter says I’m quite aggressive at times, not to her, she’s observed it of me. My outlook on life has definitely changed. I don’t fear death, my death, as I used to. I see a change in my daughter’s outlook too. It’s to be expected I suppose. Everything that was great and lovely and future to look forward to suddenly got taken away from us. Take care 🦊x

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Bingofox007]

I can understand this Bingofox007

Losing a loved one affects us in so many ways, much more than we think or expect, and these extended issues aren’t always talked about, at least I haven’t heard it.

I definitely understand the aggression, while it’s ‘normal’ to have anger, occasional aggression affects me too.

It’s sad that you’re daughters outlook seems to have been affected, I really hope that settles soon x

[Bingofox007]

thank you for your reply, kind words and understanding. Take care 🦊x

[Caza]

in what way have you changed Chloe?

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Caza]

Me, well I've lost my enthusiasm and drive, which always spurred me on to try so many things sadly. I've also lost the patience I had and find I can get cross and even aggressive occasionally and that's not me. I'm sad that its too late to do the things I had hoped to do

x

[Caza in reply to chloe40]

But would that be due to your health problems Chloe rather than loss? Or is it both.

I think I was a nicer person back then. I too can get easily irritated. I don’t like to get too close to folk now just in case…….

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Caza]

Probably a bit of both yes Caza

Life changes us doesn't it?

x

[Caza]

I’ve definitely changed in many many ways. I have absolutely no fear for my own death but for others I’m petrified. The thought of losing another loved one terrifies me. I’m not sure I could go through the pain of another one of my children dying. & yet I have two friends who have done just that survived the deaths of two children each. Strangely enough both of them came after a year of their siblings death. One of them left a vibrant life here to live in a small Greek island to run a donkey sanctuary & the other has gone to a remote cottage miles from anywhere up north to live quietly where she walks the hills daily.

My other children have changed enormously as well. Probably not helped by me at that time.

[chloe40 Administrator]

That's such shame Caza

That's awful to be so scared for others {{{hugs}}}.

Hmm... isn't that strange, a year after their siblings?

Oh my, I can so understand that Caza I'd be off like a shot, both lifestyles appeal to me enormously, I do hope they have found some peace in their lives and I really want that for you too!

x

[Caza in reply to chloe40]

What’s stopping you Chloe?

The couple that went to the Greek Island were quite wealthy so were able to set up the sanctuary. They already had a property over there that they used for a holiday home. So in a way it was easier for them.

The other couple though who lost their daughter then son, home & grandchildren upped & moved up North. They live off their pension. With a little pocket money that they get from walking tours. I don’t think I could live there life. It’s a very basic way of life. Not sure I could cope with the silence.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Caza]

It’s too late for me I’m afraid Caza

Both financially and otherwise but I’m the opposite to you, I thrive on peace x

[Sandradsn]

I've changed in the last 4years.So much has happened since 2019,I was a different person before.So many losses and changes,sometimes I give up hope and seriously wonder if things will get better.I suppose we have to start fresh everyday and try to be as positive as we can.The start of spring is helping me.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Sandradsn]

You’re right Sandradsn

We do have to try each new day and be as positive as we can.

The sunshine 🌞 definitely helps x