If your loss was sometime ago....

[chloe40]

Do you now feel able to help others when they have lost a loved one?

Maybe you were the one who crossed the road yourself, rather than speak to a grieving person, it's not because you were unkind, but simply didn't know what to say. It's a lesson for many of us I have found.

Chloe <3

[LilyAnnepuppy]

One of the big lessons I learned when my daughter died was that often words (any words no matter how well meant) can be offensive.

Some people would tell me they understood my pain even though they hadn’t lost a child. My heart would scream, “No, you don’t understand.”

“She’s in a better place,” was another cliche tossed about freely. Once again, my raw heart would scream, “But she’s not here.”

The best way I can comfort a grieving person is to ask if there’s anything I can do to help. And to just stand by their side letting them know they’re not alone.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Absolutely LilyAnnepuppy

That's the best you can do for a grieving person, just be there<3

[Caza in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

oh yes I had this when my daughter died. She’s in a better place now. No no no she isn’t. Way too young way too soon. How does anyone know that there’s a ‘better place’ if that’s the case why aren’t we all hankering to get there.

& yes I know how it feels I lost my dog. No no no it isn’t the same. I’ve lost family pets & they’re part of the family & much loved but compared to a child nope no comparison. I know someone’s pain is their pain not trying to minimise it but gosh it’s hard to listen to.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Caza]

HI Caza

People simply don't know what to say, sad they don't try to find out <3

[kenster1 Volunteer]

just been to a funeral mass my friends dad didn`t get to the burial sadly but if I ever see my friend or his brother I`ll always be there for them or anyone I know personally who is struggling with grief I`d hate anyone grieving like the way I did more so with my mum.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to kenster1]

You understand so well Kenny kenster1

It seems such a shame that only those who have suffered such grief, understand what to do.

So sorry about your friends dad <3

[Caza]

yes, I think I’d be better now.

I’d like to think that I’ve always been a good listener but I think I’d really listen now & feel the sympathy rather than just words.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Caza]

Oh yes Caza

You'd make a great Listener, I sense these things <3

[Sandradsn]

I have learnt that people I know do want to talk about their lost loved ones.It has helped me to keep memories alive .It hurts at first to open up but I found speaking about my mum and a dear friend keeps them both in my life.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Sandradsn]

Hi Sandradsn

Yes, it seems some like to talk and find it therapeutic others keep it to themselves, just shows we deal with loss in different ways <3

I do hope all is well with you <3

[Sandradsn in reply to chloe40]

I'm doing ok(apart from having Covid)!

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Sandradsn]

Oh no Sandradsn

Are you really suffering?

Silly question, of course you are,

Sending support{{{hugs}}}

<3

[Sandradsn in reply to chloe40]

Its horrible, feel rough.2nd time around.

[chloe40 Administrator]

Oh no Sandradsn

That's an awful shame.

I didn't realise it was just as bad if you caught it again.

Do take care <3 and let us know how you are very soon.

Chloe