Evening all you wonderful bunch 💕
Just a little update, my mum is now home & recovering well, she’s been home now a going on a month & is doing amazing, not needing any physio, she’s doing so well! It’s so lovely to have her home back where she belongs!
It’s been a crazy tough few months for me if I’m honest, my youngest who’s going on 21 months has had some health issues since July & last week we went for a Chest x Ray at our local hospital & for he’s bloods taken..
the results came back that he has inflammation on BOTH lungs, the right one more severe.. & as of now we are on a watch & wait approach as well as a weeks course of antibiotics & looking at to repeat he’s scan within the next 2-4weeks..
plus not forgetting the sad passing of my wonderful Grandad 10weeks ago yet if I’m honest in my mind it feels a life time ago, my memory is affected lately & I’m finding it hard to fully function & be present in the moment..
I’m so tired, emotionally mentally & physically 😩 I have these awful dark intrusive thoughts that pop in my mind whenever they feel like to & cause me nothing but severe upset & anxiety all that day.. I’m still on sertraline although only at a low dose of 50mg compared to my 150mg I was taking last yr..
my child’s father isn’t any use sadly.. although I’ve voiced to him how I feel many many times over these last few months & it just falls on deaf ears
I just want someone to give me a break, offer me a helping hand & take the weight of the world off my shoulders 😭
I dunno how I’m managing to get through the days, I’m putting zero effort in to myself, I’ve well & truly lost my sparkle.. I’m also afraid of stress induced psychosis coming back so that’s something that I live in fear of daily especially with all I have going on, life is really tough atm, & I can’t speak to my mum how I’m feeling cause she has just gone through a rough time too, so it’s hard to really speak out as to just how I’m feeling.. I just feel so alone, trapped in a never ending cycle & I dred waking up each morning to face yet another demanding hands on day with just me & my two boy’s & no adult interaction or help 😭
If I could take myself to bed permentally & wake up when how I feel is over I so would!
They say the dark times never last forever but lately it so feels it’s never ending 😩
Any support, chat & advice would be so much appreciated & Thankyou for taking the time to read my posts & show me nothing but love I appreciate it honestly 💕