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Action on Postpartum Psychosis
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Breastdeedinf

Hi sorry me again. So throughout this journey I have managed to breastfeed for the last 9 months. I have no idea how. It’s all gone so fast and my memories not very good. I’m just so tired now. She doesn’t sleep very well and will only settle if I bf her back to sleep. So my husband can’t help with nightfeeds or she just crys. They said about stopping so I can change my meds as mine arnt working very well. I feel like I want to stop but I feel so guilty about it as I know how much she loves boobie but I feel so bad for her if I dont carry on. But I think I’m running out of steam. Things are going weird again. Yesterday I was having a conversation with a spoon about the feelings it had. Later on I realised maybe that was a hallucination maybe? I don’t know. But it’s weird that it was so normal at the time I’m wondering if other stuff has been happening that I haven’t noticed wasn’t normal if you know what I mean? Sorry can’t remember the point to this post. I think I’m just very tired and need a break 😩

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Hi Bumblebeeee, it sounds like you have been doing such an amazing thing for your little girl. I hope you’re able to get some rest and also talk to a trusted family member, friend or professional about how you are feeling. Take care, thinking of you. Xx

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Hi Bumblebeeee, don’t apologise, I for one am here to listen.

Sorry to hear that your medication may need adjusting, I imagine that will feel unsettling in itself at the moment. I hear what you’re saying about breastfeeding and feeling guilty. I personally decided to stop breastfeeding after about five weeks as I was exhausted with the PP. It’s a decision I didn’t want to take but with hindsight was probably best for us in our situation. It’s a personal decision that only you can make, but... do talk to your professionals and family about how you’re feeling, and your spoon chat too. I hope you’ve got a good team of support around you. Sorry you’re so tired, rest as much as you can.

Xx

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Well done Bumblebeeee to have kept breastfeeding all this time whilst being ill is amazing.

I understand your emotions I was sad when i had to stop breastfeeding to go onto medication that worked better. Once I stopped breasfeeding the sadness soon lifted as I started to feel better and sleep better. Time to look after yourself so that you can do the best for your little one. Dont feel guilty as you'll all soon settle into the next stage. You are doing great and your little girl will still love mummies cuddles more than anything

Big hug

Teresa x

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Hi. I know breast is best generally but I feel very strongly that mothers who have or are at risk of pp should not breast feed - mainly so that we can sleep, which I think is vital to get / stay well but also so that Drs can prescribe what we need, not only what they can (which is limited with bf)

I remember the guilt too but I am 3&5 years later and my kids are great, I’ve remained healthy as sleep and my husband and family helped

The most important thing is to care for baby and you need to be well, which I’m afraid means the bottle imho

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I wasn’t planning on bf. In my birth notes it said not to even ask me to bf. But it was strange when she was born I just felt like I wanted to do it. It was a lovely journey but I’m quite glad now I can sleep at night x

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I totally understand. I was exactly the same but part of me thinks the hormones with BF actually made my pp worse (but I’ll never know)

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Hi bumblebeeee

Personally I think u should stop breastfeeding. You have managed to do it for 9 months which is amazing but at some point you will have to stop the same as you have to stop giving them a dummy, giving them a bottle or using nappies.

Its just a stage in her life. Feeling guilty is part of being a mum I think and we can't change that.

You are probably so tired you are overthinking things. To look affer your little one you have to look after yourself as well and it sounds like you have already come to that decision. Good luck x

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I just wanted to add Bumblebeeee, that FED is best! However that works for you and your family. Breast, bottle, pumping, combination feeding. You do have options. Take good care of yourself. And as I say do chat to your professionals, I wonder if your health visitor may be able to help? 💕

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My other children were all bottle fed so I don’t have a problem with bottle feeding. It’s just I know how much she loves boobie. My husbands tried to give her a bottle b4 and she just crys for me. So I feel really bad about taking that away from her. I don’t mind giving her formula at all I just feel bad that I know how much of a comfort boobie is for her. Maybe I am just over thinking it 😩

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Hi Bumblebeeee, it’s so tough isn’t it... but a choice that you will be able to make in terms of what is best for you and the whole family. Keep believing in yourself and using the support you have around you - you can do it! Xx

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Hello Bumblebeeee,

Perhaps you could talk to your health visitor/health care professionals about the possibility of combination feeding if you do want to carry on breastfeeding ie; breastfeeding and bottle feeding - this is something I was advised to do when I had my 2nd baby (I had PP with my first baby).

I breastfed during the day but at night my husband gave my daughter a bottle of formula so that I could have a decent stretch of sleep, something that was very important in me remaining well. It also meant that I could have a rest at other times when I needed as my daughter was used to the bottle, so other family members were able to help too.

Take care and look after yourself

xxxxxx

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Hi Bumblebeeee

With my first I managed to to do as KA1234 suggests and did a combination of bottle and breast. This could mean you may b able to make it a gradual process for your little girl. Of course that would mean you werent able to start new medications so soon.

I would get in touch with your health visitor for some advice she may be able to help if you choose to try and make the transition.

One suggestion I would try would be to sit in the garden or out of earshot whilst your husband tries a bottle. That way baby can't see you and you wont get the let down reflex of milk when she cries!

Also when offering a bottle I would try giving it an hour or so earlier than norm feed time so shes not too hungry and also give when shes not too tired. That way ahe may not do quite so much fussing with the bottle.

Another idea may be to put expressed milk in the bottle to start with so she only needs to get used to the bottle at first and not both the botlle itself and the taste of formula

They are the only tips I can remember from my breast to bottle days!

I hope you can find what works best for you and hope you feel better soon

T x

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Thanks for all the help. I have spoke to my hv about it already and she thinks I should stop. My psych thinks I should stop. I wasn’t even supposed to do it in the 1st place as I got so I’ll after 2 weeks when I tried it b4 with my other daughter. But she just seemed to naturally do it this time and it felt right. It’s weird tho as b4 I got so tired and I was so unattached to my last baby that I would literally not be able to look after her but this time I feel like it has kept me bonded to her and it’s like my body seems to work in time with her like she’s part of me this time and I don’t feel as tired as I did b4. But I think maybe lately is getting abit much as she wakes so much in the night like every hour or so. I’m abit worried if I stop my hormones will go crazy again like last time when I stopped after 2 weeks I lost my mind but think maybe that’s coz I didn’t sleep for about 2 weeks either. I’m planning to stop Monday I’m just going to go for it x

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Hi Bumblebeeee,

Hope you’re doing ok today. Glad you got some advice, hope the transition goes well for both you and little one. Xx

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Thank you. I’m feeling good. I got some formula from the doctor as she has cmpa and I gave her a bottle earlier and she liked it. Hopefully she will just settle tonight with another bottle 😍

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Great. Well done Mummy!

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At 9 mths baby can have bottle.Put some expressed milk in bottle. Or formula get some sleep

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Hi Bumblebeeee

That is what happened in my case, I got ill when I stopped breastfeeding and my hormones went nuts. With insight though your doctors will be well aware to get you moved onto better medications quickly to hopefully keep you stable. How you have coped with your daughter suckling every hour I do not know. I remember my cheeky monkey getting into the habit of just wanting comfort rather than a feed. Exhausting. Wishing you all the best tomorrow and hoping you find the next few days going smoothly and not too stressful

Teresa x

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Pleased to say she has got on very well with her bottles. My hubby has been sleeping in her room instead of me, doing the nightfeeds for the last few nights. I had to take sleeping tablets at 1st but last night I managed to sleep without sleeping tablet all night. And she only woke up one time aswell about 4:30am! Seems a completly doffent baby from the baby who was up every half hour at one point!x

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Hi Bumblebeeee, this is great news. Glad it’s sounding better and your little one has found a good new feeding rhythm! Glad you’re getting sleep, that will help so so much I’m sure xxx

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