Hi everyone, I’m so glad to have found the forum, as I am at the verge of doing very very silly things. I am 32 weeks pregnant and have had depression (undiagnosed selftreated) episodes before. It is hard to admit that, because I always put it down to my environment and as my circumstances improved so did my mental health-I always knew I had to be patient and suffer through it. But recently I have had a very long phase of it, and becoming pregnant the hormones has absolutely sent me full on in a psychosis. I have a 9 year old son and the best husband who have been the victims of this. I have good periods when I can manage and keep it together by working full time and keeping busy, then something switches I grt into an exhaustion, a social event, an OCD thing (white hangers black hangers, kids hangers, things out of place) and I turn crazy destructive, bad mood and wanting to end everything. I am having one of these right now, however I’m scared because I have been having bad dreams and hallucinations all day and night. My son is currently at home recovering from flu and he slept with me in the past couple of nights and I have dreams where he’s got hurt. A couple of hours ago I was awoken by a white bright light on the wall it was interactive and trying to get me to do stuff. I went and got a shower and cleared my head, and realised just how bad it is right now. Really scary. We have moved and I don’t have friends m, only my husbands family who do not want to do anything with me and have written me off as a psycho and evil person due to what has been happening recently. I have asked my husband to keep it between us as when I have to keep up a certain ‘image’ it helps. Like social media... I get strength going through past memories and helps me snap out of it, but I guess he had to unload as well... last night I have deleted all my social media, in the planning of harm. (Another sign of just how bad it has got now). I would love help but I cannot tell these things to people as I’m scared of them being judgmental and critical of me and losing my whole life. I’d love to hear other stories and how other people managed to get out of this dark place.
I need help but I cannot accept it - Action on Postpar...
Action on Postpartum Psychosis
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