Does anybody have trouble like me maintaining eye contact when talking to someone? I have to make a conscious effort to do so.

[Spangle]

It does not seem natural to me to make eye contact with people. It seems hard work.

[Hidden]

Hi Spangle

I think something was asked similar to this not long ago & i cant remember what blog

But yes I think we can find it hard

The more you are conscious of it though the harder it can be

Like if you are somewhere like the pictures where its quite & you start coughing , makes you nervous , then what happens we start coughing more because we no we need to be quite (if you no what I am saying )

Try not to focus to much on it , & take that pressure of yourself , so it doesn't feel hard work , eventually without you realising you may find yourself looking at people in the eye , without even realising it !

Its ok for it not to seem natural , knowing that , I hope it helps a little , at least you no there are others feeling the same way & have the same problem

Love

whywhy

xxx

[swanlinnet]

Yes Spangle ...but when you are in the company of boring or dull people, this inability to want to make eye contact is, in my opinion, natural.

Some people just churn out the same hum-drum stuff every time they open their mouths. Some people you can predic what they are going to say long before they have begun to start talking.

But it can become an obsession if we begin to criticise ourselves ..then it will scramble your mind !

Have to be conscious of the fact that some people are terribly dull in converstaion and try to do the right thing and make eye contact when they are talking.

Vince

[BriarRose in reply to swanlinnet]

I'm sorry, Swanlinnet, but I'm afraid i find your response terribly sad! Have your social interactions been so unfulfilling that you find so many people "boring or dull"? We can ALL be boring at times, it depends what we're talking about and who we're with. And some conversations are, almost by definition, boring - the "small talk" of How's work? How are the children? Did you have a good drive here? - but it's the social "glue" that holds society together. And I'm sorry that you find so many people boring - I find that most people have "a story to tell" - if we only listen!

Best

Rose

[BriarRose]

Hi Spangle - yes, I think a lot of us do find it difficult to maintain eye contact - it's just shyness, basically! I read of a trick once - I think I have this right - if you concentrate on a point between someone's eyes, it appears to them that you are looking at them, without you having to stress about maintaining eye contact. Try it, you might find it helps!

Good luck, and try not to worry, lots of people have this problem, you're not alone!

Love

Rose

xxx

[bonkerswoman]

Trust BriarRosieBud to beat me to it! I have practised the looking between the eyes because I have had difficulty with this. (I have mild Aspergers Syndrome). I am also quite good at making my vision go fuzzy, so I'm not focussed on the other peepers. It gets me some funny looks sometimes if I go too far! If I'm not maintaining the fuzz too well, I pretend I have to brush a bit of imaginary fluff off my sleeve so I can get re-unfocussed. Rosie is right - tiz a really common problem. x