Didn't last long

I have anxiety bout going to work but when I'm there I'm fine, n in a way takes my mind if things so all weekend I'm been good but then now I'm alone it sets in again !! .. But one good thing about being on this site I told my friend she didn't do anythink accept talk bout her self and dismiss wat I sed which is the usual but I stuck up for my self because I'm a hairdresser the only time my friends actually wanna see me is so I can cut my hair n some of my family are like this it upsets me ... So I sed to my friend ill do her hair first I didn't care I just want a friend, then last night I thought no! So I text her and sed I'm not doing your hair I actually wanna see a friend for a friend n spend a day together and not feel I'm only there to b used n she sed "ahh well ave to do it another time ' I still don't think she's there ...I spoke to my boyfriend I do any way I just don't want him to think I'm annoying :/ x x x any one else get this with friends ? Xxx

8 Replies

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  • Hi yes, unfortunately it's hard to find good friends that understand, as these days it mostly seems its every man for himself, this site is good as people do understand and genuinely seem to care which is good for us. I have friends who seem to put pressure on and don't understand when you just don't feel up to going somewhere, and I feel like you,not that I'm a hairdresser but in a different way they want me there because I make people laugh, sometimes I don't want to be the entertainment, so I understand what you are saying, although in a slightly different way.

    I guess sometimes some of it is my fault as I AMA very private person and don't want anyone to know I suffer with anxiety as I'm embarrassed so as they don't know I guess that makes it hard too. I just don't trust how people are when they find out your vulnerable,

    I'm sure others can relate to you,

    I wish you well and maybe do their hair on your terms more when it suits you, that's if you can.

    Sue x x x

  • Hi, I agree with both of you. The idea of friendship has changed over the years, and most people do only think about pleasing themselves. I tend to be a good listener so when people want to see me it is usually to talk about their problems. I don't mind within reason but sometimes it drags me down. I have a friend who asks, 'how are you?' and when I start to tell her he talks about herself again.

    At the minute I am learning to be my own best friend, not that I don't need friends, just that I need to appreciate myself. X

  • Yes I have a friend who asks how I am n I don't even get chance to answer bk she off bout her self I just get lonely I'm fed up of being lonely :( I miss having a close friend like when I was at school no care in the world n friends all around u I loved it now I feel I don't think I can even count any friends that r friends :( ... I do no wat u mean sue to sometimes u feel u gotta b the entertainer to hide the fact your anxiety is bad I have to do that at salon n pub I work at being told to smile all time it's hard n if I talk to someone they go ohhh you'll get over it don't b silly n I go ok u don't get it but if u swapped bodies with me n felt the feelings I get n try 'get over it ' u would b begging to wanna swap bk xxxxx I'm thankful for every think u all do for me xxxx

  • Leanne, it's very easy to fall into the role of 'life and soul' of the party. Then people expect it and if you aren't feeling your best and express this, you get told your being a misery, you can't win.

    There are good people out there who make good friends but it's not always easy to find them. Frienship is like any relationship it takes 2 people to make it work. Do you have any hobbies, sometimes like minded people make good company.

    You always have the love and support of us too :) x

  • :) thing is I feel boring I feel I don't ave no hobbies at the min I've just had puppy so my minds set on him but I'm not sure wat I like doing anymore . Xxx

  • I know that feeling, I try new things but give up easily. But a puppy is great because he needs walking. :)

  • Ye can't walk yet but he is a all day job lol xxx

  • Hi Leanne, I think you did well to tell your friend how you felt. Unfortunately I think it's human nature to get away with as much as we can and by always doing her hair when she wants it you are allowing her to think that's ok, and she may also have felt you didn't mind as you always went along with it. Hopefully she may now think about what you have said and realised that you are not just there for her convenience .... We have to show people how we expect to be treated and now you have done that.

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