Family

Hi all. Had a great night sleep last night using a relaxing breathing technique and positive thoughts. As u no i look after my wife who has ms. She had a breakdown about 5 years ago. Tried to kill herself twice. We got through it just but my brother and his family suddenly lost contact. No phone calls no texts no emails even missed my and my wifes 50th birthday. That was 5 years ago. My uncle died and he was contacted to pass this info on to me re the funeral. Nothing not a word. My wifes family did the same. Is this normal for families to do this when an illness such as this. Ive now been trying to cope on my todd for 5 years now.

9 Replies

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  • Good morning Ham, sadly yes some families do just want to pretend things aren't happening because they can't face it or don't know what to do. Do you belong to an MS support group, you need to be able to talk about how you feel with other people who understand and are going through the same difficulties.

    Don't try to cope on your own find help, you have to think about your own health as well as your wife's.

    Glad that you got some sleep, it helps so much. I use a little bottle called 'Peace of Mind' you rub a drop of the lotion on your ears, temples and neck and the vapours help you relax. Sounds strange I know but it does work. X

  • Thanks tara. No i dont have a support group. My attends a mental health clinic which helps her situation. I find this site very comforting for my own use but i dont attend anything myself. In good weather i will take a long walk or play some golf. I dont ask for much from my family. A text an email a call just to say how r u. I dont bombard people with all the gory detsils of what i do for my wife i like to talk about other things. I shall have a look for that bottle. Take care

  • My daughter has MS,and my family,eg sisters never ask if she is ok,need any help ect,they only want to talk about their own illness,s so I just leave them alone,they only ever contact me when they have a problem,I just let them get on with it.Your problems are so tragic,wish live was easier for us all.

  • Yes families react very weird. My brothers wife is a professor of something and sits on various charity boards. She admitted she wants to get noticed and get as high as possible in society. She mixes with politicians and high society. Maybe she doesnt want to associate with disabled mentally ill people who live off benefits. I think my brother just hangs on to her coat tails. I will never no the reason and to be honest i dont care. How is your daughter coping. Is she getting the correct medical support

  • Hi Ham,

    The relaxation techniques are great even though they can be hard to get used to in the beginning, sending positive and most of all loving thoughts to yourself are very healing, and allow us to see things a little clearer.

    In this life all of us are suffering even though most dont seem that way, and what you said about your brother is typical.

    When we look at it, he is surviving the best he can, and probably doesn't have enough love to give his own family, let alone yours. I have a brother like that too and a sister, and parents, which just pretend everything is alright, but I'm starting to see their suffering and that allows me to just accept how they are, and make the most of their company.

    Have you ever walked down the road and looked at all the people, I mean really looked, how many smily faces do you see, can you see the pain, etched on their faces. What I do now, is smile at them, lovingly, and say morning :) and watch their faces light up.

    Just a simple hello, is so powerful.

    Anyway keep up the relaxation techniques, I'm doing it too, along with some mindfullness, and its working a treat, it only took me 30 years to find it, and I'm not letting it go now :)

    All the best

  • Thanks for this. I used to be a happy smiling person but recently i just moan. I no i am doing it and i try my best to laugh at life. We only get one chance so i am determined to change.

  • My daughter has relapsing Ms and has been a member of the Ms society for about 20 years,she took MS after the birth of her son,has a lot of problems with her Ms but copes as best she can,she has a great doctor and a good ,loving caring husband which makes a big difference ,although I know it gets her down a lot.

  • Thats good. Yes my wife is a member of ms to. Theres a lot of new drugs out there to kep her ms from tipping into the progressive. They r now looking at progressive so i am always hopeful they will come up with something. If the govrn spent as much on defence and into ms plus other conditions they woild have found a cure years ago. Not to worry we will bash on with life and enjoy the good days

  • hi Ham,

    I am glad you had great sleep, I strange relationship with my sister for many reason, and all you can do for yourself and your family is be you. xxxxxxx

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