Bad dreams and bad weather

[Tara67]

I have been thinking twice about posting when I feel down because I don't want to bore anyone with my negative blogs. I do feel blogging is helping me get things out of my system so apologies for being a pain.

I woke up at 4am after hearing noise next door, immediately had a anxiety attack. I lay awake for a while trying to hear if it was music or the wind. after 30 mins I calmed myself and fell asleep, woke up to a power cut. But didn't mind because it meant no music. I am becoming obsessed with the music from next door, and totally getting things out of perspective again. My neighbour has been away since Monday, back late last night and there was some noise but not loud. Instead of trying to ignore it, I focus on it. Because I don't like background noise, I rarely have the tv or radio on so noise from next door is more noticable.

Just remembered I had a bad dream, I woke up and my house had been trashed, broken windows, doors ripped off. And a note from my neighbour saying stop complaining about the noise. It really unsettled me, I haven't actually complained much about his music, maybe 4 or 5 times in a year. I stopped because he turns it down for a while and when his friends arrive, it is as bad again.

So I am once again dreading the weekend, worried about the noise levels and how I will cope. Feeling very down and sorry for myself, also feeling stupid for letting something so insignificant control my life.

Sitting watching the snow, praying for a solution to this nightmare.

[Hidden]

I also dread the weekends on my own and like you I have neighbour who seems to enjoy life and is quite loud, nothing ever bothers him and he lives in a grubby house, eats rubbish is never ill and does not know what anxiety is all about. We are friendly but it makes me feel so envious and wish I could be a less stressed person. I am older and life can be quite lonely so I guess we are lucky to have this site and our ability to use a computer. It must be very hard for you with your neighbour, a little music and noise can be company but it can be all too much Take care Love from Helen

[Kaz12345]

Hi Tara, sorry to hear you are feeling anxious today. I hope talking about it here has made you feel a bit better. If the music is loud and on very late or very early hours it must be really annoying. About 30 years ago I lived in a flat and the people upstairs played music from 1 am to around 8 pm, (think they were charging people to come in and party!) every day for about 2 years until they moved out! Really impacted on my day to day life and work etc, so I do understand. But you know the dream is just your worry taking over and that's all it is, a dream. You understand that you are focusing too much on it (hard as it is not to), so that's half the battle and I know you will find a way to cope. try not to worry about the weekend, he may be away again or out with friends most of the time.

Could you try mediation? I think some local authorities have this service where they will sit down with neighbours and help them to come to a solution.

In the meantime, can you busy yourself with something today to try and take your mind off it (bet the dog would like to get out in that snow!). All the best.

[Tara67]

Thank you cotonroad, I know my neighbour is young and enjoying life. I didn't have a care in the world at that age either and to be honest he could be worse a lot worse. So I have to try and balance it out in my head, yes I would like no noise at all ever. But that's not realistic so if only I could convince myself that nothing bad is going to happen as a result I would feel better. My hubby has been calm recently maybe because it's not a constant thing and he is just accepting it. I have a dog who barks a lot so I'm not noise free either!

[Tara67]

Morning Kaz, as I mention above the noise isn't deafening, I think it's the bass I hear rather than the music and it's a low thud. In my head the music will set off a chain of events that will get out of control and something bad will happen. I suppose that's why it's irrational fear. I don't want to enter into mediation or anything because it isn't that bad, it's my fear of it getting worse is the problem.

Anyway I went for a walk in the snow which was lovely, I went to the chemist and got St Johns wort, I know it's not for anxiety but I am feeling depressed and thought it might help.

I am working tomorrow, so of course worried about leaving the house.

Hope you are having a better day. I would love to hear more about you and your anxiety if you feel like sharing. X

[sheffieldwed]

Hi Tara sorry you having a rough time and i know from experience noisy neighbours are so annoying hun i know this may not help but have you actually explained to your neighbour that you are suffering from anxiety and panic maybe he will have a bit of consideration if you tell him how this is making you anxious and disturbing your sleep he may sympathise if not and nothing seems to sink in then i suggest you do contact your local council they can do something about it if he making a nuisance of himself dont put up with it love you shouldnt have to put up with it let me know how you do hun and good luck xxxxxx

[Tara67]

Thanks Sheffieldwed, my neighbour is young and stupid and usually drunk, so I really don't want to share any personal information with him. As I have said before contacting the council etc, wouldn't help, it might actually make him worse. The noise isn't that bad, it's my fear of it getting worse that makes me anxious, it's hard to explain. I suppose I just want to be away from all people and have noone to worry about but myself.

[Kaz12345]

hi Tara, sorry if I misunderstood. reading back on your blogs I think I get it now. I also do the what ifs and I worry about something happening that will then escalate into something else. MY OH has a problem with a neighbour at the mo, something they are doing really bugging him, so when it happens, I also hate it as worry he is going to get more and more wound up, then there might be a row, then there will be the neighbours not talking etc, etc ... But I keep telling myself its not my problem. If it winds him up and they have a row ... Then they have a row. I find I have to try and set it aside, tell myself I am not responsible for what happens and cannot stop it. I have been told by a counsellor that my role when young was in keeping the peace at home and Im still trying to do it ..!

[RealEyes]

Hi Tara ... something that has helped me with my angst at night - from noise and music is using ear plugs. Took me awhile to become 'friendly' with the idea and use them yet it has made a difference when I've used them - especially when I need my rest. just an idea and Good rest to you **