I have been thinking twice about posting when I feel down because I don't want to bore anyone with my negative blogs. I do feel blogging is helping me get things out of my system so apologies for being a pain.
I woke up at 4am after hearing noise next door, immediately had a anxiety attack. I lay awake for a while trying to hear if it was music or the wind. after 30 mins I calmed myself and fell asleep, woke up to a power cut. But didn't mind because it meant no music. I am becoming obsessed with the music from next door, and totally getting things out of perspective again. My neighbour has been away since Monday, back late last night and there was some noise but not loud. Instead of trying to ignore it, I focus on it. Because I don't like background noise, I rarely have the tv or radio on so noise from next door is more noticable.
Just remembered I had a bad dream, I woke up and my house had been trashed, broken windows, doors ripped off. And a note from my neighbour saying stop complaining about the noise. It really unsettled me, I haven't actually complained much about his music, maybe 4 or 5 times in a year. I stopped because he turns it down for a while and when his friends arrive, it is as bad again.
So I am once again dreading the weekend, worried about the noise levels and how I will cope. Feeling very down and sorry for myself, also feeling stupid for letting something so insignificant control my life.
Sitting watching the snow, praying for a solution to this nightmare.