Any helpful types or advice for someone who struggles to leave the house??

[suffolkrelic]

[seyi]

Hiya Suffolk

I understand how you feel and its awful.

Take small steps like i am doing first i went into the front garden did some weeding.

The i put my coat on walked halfway up the street and ran back it was an awful feeling of feeling unsafe.

I came back into the house and thought no i am going to the local shop.

I must have been walking like a crab because i could feel myself going side to side.

On the way back i took deep breaths and calmed myself.

I am struggling to get out and this evening i am going out in the car and then trying to get inside the supermarket for some shopping as later the better less people.

Hope this may have been some help.

Keep in touch let me know how you get on.

Take Care

Hugs

Seyi x

[Hidden in reply to seyi]

Well done seyi , you are taking some steps to get out , & i no how hard it is

Good luck later , hope you post & let us no how you go on

xxx

[Hidden]

Well I am one that struggles to leave the house & not quite worked this out myself

I really have to make myself , the longer we stop in the harder it gets , the fear etc & I do no how it feels believe me , I shout like a loopy woman , what ever that me be , before I am going some where & get so anxious

Set small trips out , dont go for anything major , make yourself do a little trip , even if its to the bottom of the street & back , tell yourself you will do that every day & then just increase it as you feel confident , it takes some effort , but the fear gets less

Post on here everytime you have set yourself a goal & achieved it & let us support you

Love

whywhy

xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

By the way when I say bottom of the street , I only live a few doors from the bottom of mine , so depends how far the bottom is from you , you may just want to go half way to start with

xxx

[suffolkrelic in reply to Hidden]

It really get's to me, I'm 29 and I still life with my parents, I haven't been able to move out because of the anxiety. I can't leave the house for long or I get sick, so I stay in, all the time. I was engaged once, but being with someone with anxiety was too much work than she wanted to do and left, she's now married someone else, someone who isn't slowing her down with anxiety.

[Hidden in reply to suffolkrelic]

Try not to focus hun on all the negatives that have or are happening , will make you feel worse & 29 is ok to be at home , plenty are , i wouldnt mind if my son is still at home at 29

Well if your GF couldnt cope maybe it was for the best , there are plenty that can cope with us , believe me & when the time is right you will find that one believe me

I understand just how you feel , start doing those little steps , suggested , may not seem much , but it will slowly build up , take deep breaths while you are outside you will be ok , you can do this , hope you start , as I no it wont be easy , but you will get there if you make that first move

Let us no how you go on

Love

whywhy

xxx

[suffolkrelic in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your words, you seem like a really lovely person. I know I shouldn't focus on the negatives so much, just having a bad day, keep putting on a brave face and it just gets to me at times.

[Hidden in reply to suffolkrelic]

I no hun , we feel like this at times , it can feel like hard work cant it "

Lets hope tomorrow brings you a better day

Try just going through the door , end of path , anything , post when you do it , we will all encourage & support you , you still have a long & happy life ahead of you to look forward to , even though you may not feel it today ...wish I was 29 again

xxx

[Hidden]

I sometimes get this problem and I find (as others have said) that the longer you prolong going out the worse it will get. Even if you can just get a couple of houses down and turn back every step is a GOOD step. And whats more, you'll feel proud of yourself for doing it. Don't sit in - keep having calm thoughts and I find the breathing exercises help.

[suffolkrelic in reply to Hidden]

Thanks I'll try.

[angelfaced]

Hi i have had this problem too but after forcing myself out for the past 6 weeks (and it literally has been forcing myself) i have improved lots, but only small steps dont rush anything. Have you spoke to your doctor/do you take any medication or have tried councelling? If you have a mobile with app's there are some ones on anxiety and panic i find really helpful.

[suffolkrelic in reply to angelfaced]

Only Fluoxetine for depression, Amitriptyline for tension headaches, neither touch the anxiety. I have spoken to the doctor, he doesn't really know what to do, he said there is no pill to take and make it all go away. And he wouldn't supply them if there were because they can be addictive and have a really long list of side affects. I saw a Cognitive behavioral therapist, don't know if it was him or the CBT itself but it was pretty useless. I don't have the app sort of phone, mine's really old classic, no touchscreen of any sort.

[angelfaced]

hmm, there are so many types of meds and doses its so confusing isnt it, i'm on citalopram for anxiety and depression at 20mg now but my doc talked about upping my dose i have a review in 2 weeks, im just starting to feel the effects of this dose after 3 weeks with improvements so wanted to wait a few weeks for full effects before he upped again. If he is saying he doesnt know what todo then i would ask to be referred to someone else who can help, there are so manys different meds and mixtures that psychiatrists can personalise for you, has he not made any suggestions? I am still nervous dont get me wrong butm doc was very supportive and said themeds can help but you can make a real difference yourself by facing the fear even though it is SO hard, think about what exactly scares you, does anything trigger off the anxiety or is it just a feeling that wont go like mine, has anything happened when you have been out ? if not its worth reminding yourself that these are the bodys normal feelings and they will go, you are safe, however scary this feeling of anxiety is it wont hurt you, it never has and it never will. (easier said then done i know). These are just some things i try and think and say to myself which make me feel better. Also that you could stay home and give into this anxiety/fear but inseatd you are doing something to change it, to not let it take over your life, you can get control back, it will be hard and it will take some time but you have the power todo this. Many peeple never have to face their fears and some give in and dont but you are facing them and with time and effort you can recover. Let me know how you get on.

[suffolkrelic in reply to angelfaced]

I did see a specialist, she have me the Fluixetine, and it's worked wonders for depression, but I'm just as anxious as ever on them. No nothing happened in the past, I don't know how it works I just get sick when anxious. You wanna know something stupid, I've lived this way for so long it's almost comforting, being well and stepping out into the world to seek my life scares me a lot, then what do you do? I want to be well but the idea scares the cr*p out of me!

[angelfaced]

It doesnt sound stupid at all, change can be scary even without anxiety/depression. I'm not having the greatest day myself today but we have to try and stay positive and not let these things consume us, little steps, little goals, i hope coming on this site comforts you to know you are not alone in your struggle. Let us know how you get on.

[Hidden]

Hi hun

I m 32 and last year I codn't get out of my house and I couldn't stay in the house bymyself either!Outside it s seems so frightening!I went to Gp ,got tablets,CBT done and after few months I was out of the house.I still don't like it,I feel vulnerable when I m outside and I don t like to be to far away from home,but I do go out and I do come back safe..

I took very little steps..maybe it s sounds stupid but I started with just standing outside the door for few minutes,and run back I inside lol!after that I tried to stand few metres away and come back and so on till I get at the famous "bottom of the road" to the off licence!U could do it by yourself or u can ask your parents to come with you and it s ok.

I really hope you will get better,prove your self you can do it..it s gona be scary the first few times but after u ll get use to it..be always proud of yourself for trying every little step,your confidence will build up.you will have good days and bad days and it s ok.be happy when u succeed and be happy when u feel like u failed cause even if you just tried its a great news!!

And remember you re not alone.we are here.

Take care

Train 80

[suffolkrelic in reply to Hidden]

Thank you very much for your kind words.

[bonkerswoman]

Hello Suffolkrelic. Why are you a relic? You are the same age roughly as my lad. He has always been an anxious fella and has to make an effort to mix. He does go out, but he is often very anxious about it. We have found out that he has a touch of the old Aspergers Syndrome, so we now understand more. You need a GP who does know what to do. We changed my son's because the last one hadn't got a clue. Have you a garden at home? My friend who can't leave the house has started by doing a bit of gardening and is finding that it is helping her to get used to being outside. I take her out in the car and we go places she isn't known because she feels more comfortable. We get out of the car for very short periods and have managed to have a cuppa in a cafe without her having the habdabs and running amok. We just try little things to see if they work. She is very proud of her achievements - and so she should be. The world isn't as big as it looks from inside the house and it is full of people just getting by and worrying about all sorts of things that you wouldn't dream of. They are spending their time avoiding dogs, spiders, noise, rain, all sorts of phobias. i know someone who can't bear matt paint - it makes him get that feeling like nails on a blackboard. I would like to come and give you a big hug and take you to meet my son and maybe have a cuppa somewhere, but I can't, so you'll have to just imagine this old bonkerswoman dropping by and scaring the hell out of you. Good luck, young man, don't be afraid and take small steps.xx

[suffolkrelic in reply to bonkerswoman]

I feel old! also, i'm into archaeology and ancient history, that kind of thing. Thank you very much for your kind words, everybodies been so great and supportive, when you have anxiety and depression you feel like you're all alone in the world, it's such a relief to find this site and and so many helpful, thoughful people!

[Pickle165]

HI i understand your situation cos its mine too. im 31 and live with my mum cos i cant move out cos the anxiety and depression has just took over. i dont work and havnt for about two and a half years now which i hate most of all. i am on fluoxatine also but dont really feel its doing a great deal. what dose are you on if you dont mind me asking? sorry to hear about your previous partner, to be honest i feel you are better off with out her as her love for you could not have been that strong and i think we should fight for one another when we are in love......you deserve the full package. x my first boyfriend i was with for four years and we spoke loads about settling down but he also chose the easy route, infact he was worst he cheated instead of being honest. i would love to be able to meet others in our situation we have alot in common. chat anytime. x

[suffolkrelic in reply to Pickle165]

Sounds familier! I haven't worked in so long, it makes me feel like a waste of space, you're right about fighting for the one you love, it's "in sickness and in health, for better for worse", at least that was my attitude to the relationship. I'm on 3 tablets/capules of 20mg, so 60mg if i got my math right.

[Pickle165]

im only on 20mg a day which i know is not enough but i just dont want to get to addicted to the stuff and i have a really dodgy stomach and find they tend to make me feel sick. i take mine at night cos they make me sleepy but do wake me up later in the night. when do you take yours? yes in sickness and in health is the way it should be. ive been with my boyfriend now for five years nearly and that rule is slowly going out the window.

[suffolkrelic in reply to Pickle165]

I take mine in the morning with a cuppa! I've got a dodgy stomach too, thankfully these meds don't upset it, maybe fluoxatine isn't the one for you? Really sorry to hear about your relationship, I can understand it being hard on the partner when in a relationship with someone with anxiety, but the right one will be able to look past that.

[Pickle165 in reply to suffolkrelic]

yes that should be the case but he has social anxiety so he knows how hard things can get and should really show more compassion. i think we should challange each other to go out every day even if we only make it to the front garden, what do you say??????

[suffolkrelic in reply to Pickle165]

Seems like a good plan, I'm not very good with plans, won't be doing much for the moment, got a stinking cold

[Pickle165 in reply to suffolkrelic]

wrap yourself up in bed with a hot water bottle and put a good film on and eat yummy food. get beter soon. x

[bonkerswoman]

Sam and Suffolk - don't worry about not working - there aren't any jobs anyway!! Joking aside, it isn't the most important thing in life and you certainly aren't a waste of space just because you don't fit into society's perception of what everyone should be doing. Lots of people don't work, for all sorts of reasons. I want to say something like ' don't worry because it wastes your young lives', but that probably isn't helpful. I wish there were ways to convince you that you don't need to worry. I have spent so many years doing just that, and now I know that it was a waste of time and energy. It's really ok out there. There are so many wonderful people and places. The vast majority of people are kind and won't hurt you.

I used to worry that I would make a fool of myself, bore people, say the wrong thing etc,etc. I don't care now. If anyone doesn't approve of me, it's their loss. Don't wait until you are in your 60s like me - really try to fight this. It's unreal, just a fear. You both sound so lovely, you should be letting people know you. Sam's challenge sounds like a good idea. Go for it and report on here, so we can all see your progress.xxx

[Pickle165 in reply to bonkerswoman]

thank you. x