Bad day today

[merlincat]

I am having a really tough day having woken up with my shoulder muscles feeling cold & sweaty. I have taken a Diazapam - the first for nearly a week - but the effect has more or less worn off & now feel worse - shaky & sick, would like to do something positive to help myself but at the moment feel overwhelmed. I was supposed to be going away to see my daughter & grandchildren on Thursday but have decided to cancel - I have yet to tell my daughter this & explain why - she doesn't know I am Ill with anxiety. I know this will worry her & I worry about her & if I will see my grandchildren again. We live a long distance apart & can't just call in for a little while.

[ellabella]

Oh I am so sorry you are having a rotten time Merlin... I know this may sound a bit silly but it works sometimes for me. I go in the shower and stay there quite a while. Once dry and dressed I make a list of things that need to be done and try and tick at least 1 on a really bad day. It's sometimes a case of ten minutes at a time for me . Not all the time I hasten to add but sometimes. Also I wonder why you haven't told your daughter about your anxiety? do you think she doesn't know or something else. Anyway you sound very similar to me. I worry increasingly when I have somewhere to go and do tend to cancel as this alleviates the symptoms. Of course you will see the children again. Maybe hold the decision eh? What is the worse thing that can happen do you think if you do go?

Love and Hugs x Ella x

[Hidden]

Hi merlincat

Sorry you are having a bad day , you & me to then as well as a bad night for me , so you are not on your own here

I have muscle pain , it has to be anxiety , we tense up , I was even like it in bed last night , the muscles are not relaxed , results in pain

You have done well not taking a diazapam for a week , so dont feel bad if you feel you need them at the moment , this is anxiety , it has its ups & downs

I also no when you say you feel "overwhelmed , same here , its an awful feeling

My tactic , at the moment ,is this acceptance that is spoken about on the site , makes sense when you read about it , harder to do I no & if you look at the posts thats what most say , but they also say the more we practice "acceptance" the easier it gets , so i am going to keep going with that theory , sounds sensible to me

I no you speak about your daughter , well I have two grown up daughters , & a grandchild , they no all about how their mum is , & all I can say is its such a relief they do , as when I cant make things or they do want to see me they no exactly what I am like & they fit in with me , they dont worry ,they have accepted me the way I am , I feel if they didnt no & I was phoning up & cancelling they would no something was wrong & then that would worry them

One of my daughters lives a while away , so its hard to see her , but it helps so much that she knows as she adapts to getting to see me , espeacially when I am not feeling so good & they think no worse of me

Maybe they did worry abit at first , but i no they dont now , as they have got use to it

I imagine you have a close relationship with your daughter , if it was me as she must be older & not a child , i would tell her , i am sure mine would say they are glad they no

She may be able to adapt when you are having a bad time , then you dont have to feel guilty or miss out on seeing her

Keep posting , these are just suggestions & may be more people will have more for you & hopefully one might help

whywhy xxx

[merlincat]

Thank you Ella. You are right, of course, it could well do me good & give me something else to occupy my mind. But we do live a day's journey apart - including a sea crossing - it takes around twelve hours. My husband wants us to try & as he will be coping I should try. I have only been like this for about two weeks - although it has been building up for a while, & I just haven't found the right moment to tell my daughter. She will be disappointed if we don't come but I think the strategy is now to talk to her about it & ask her if she can cope with another dependent! (Three small children already). It is great to be able to write this down & I am grateful for your support - hugs!

[tintin5187]

Try and not label your whole day as being a "BAD DAY" Its only the morning. It may have been a bad morning but this does not mean the rest of the day has to follow suit! seperate your day up. small baby steps. Don't make rash decisions about Thursday! Its only monday! Don't want to sound harsh but I know how easy it is to settle for "Bad Day" I did this for a long time. My therapist told me to think about the good parts of the day, and not to label. Good Luck with rest of your day..... Think Good Day. lots of love