I have suffered from anxiety and depression for a long time and the current episode has been rumbling along for about a year.
I am on loads of medication, have a great psychiatrist who has just taken over from a crap one, a supportive CPN, a therapist and a loving family and a close circle of friends. So why am do I feel so lonely?
I saw my therapist this morning and just couldnt talk about anything constructive, it was like there was a gag across my mouth. Am I the only one that feels like this in some therapy session? What do have have to do to get myself to open up. I just don't know what I am scared of. I wanted her to shout at me and tell me I was wasting her time but she wouldn't.
I am desperate to get better, to be able to enjoy life again.
I don't think I am sitting back and waiting for it to happen. I still manage to do everyday stuff, looking after my 2 children and husband.
I run three times a week to try and create some positive energy, but it is not working. I am just full of nagging doubts about my abiltiy to do things. Even when I do something positive my negative thought cancel it out straight away.
I have lots of childhood issues to sort out which I feel influence how I do things today, but have seen so many counsellors and therapists I am tired of telling my story.
Am I just moaning and just need to pull myself together or is there any hope out there..