Words.

Hi. All. During my recent sojourn into Devon a lady kindly lent me her laptop. It turned out that she suffered from anxiety and had looked at various sites to get support and had been very disappointed in the response. I gave her the address of this one. One Particular site she went to shocked her so much she would not look again until I reassured her about this one. I looked up the site she mentioned (which shall be nameless) and I was not surprised she was shocked. I spent some years in the Army and to shock me takes some doing.This site had thousands of members and was billed as a 'quality' site. Most of the blogs had the 'F' word in almost every sentence. Insults and bad manners were regarded as the norm. Crude pictures with no blog were given as replies. I even saw an explicit account of someones sexual adventures from the night before. Now everyone needs to express themselves and to hold in emotions is bad, but if this sort of behaviour happened outside they would be arrested under the Public Order Act. I appreciate that some poor souls in extreme cases of mental health, will not be able to control what they say, but surely the administrators should provide some separate means to accommodate them. Why is a public website so different? I come back to my reason for this blog. We are so lucky here in that Admin seems to jump on bad behaviour and take it off. But it brought home to me the importance of using words carefully. One word out of place can upset someone for days, and could even push them over the edge. Only on two occasions have I come across it on this site and the members jumped on it immediately, and admin took it off. My thanks go to the people who run this site and the work they do behind the scenes. 'Straight talking' is fine in the right place, but we are all vulnerable to words misplaced. The power of words is, sometimes, underestimated. (Not, of course, by the politicians!!). Communication is so important on this kind of site, but if we do it with Love and understanding we wont go far wrong. Love. jonathan.

[rouri]

i agree 100% we are blessed to have this site and i've been on another website but cancelled it as it was causing me more anxiety.

hope this kind lady will login here soon.

love

rouri xx

[BriarRose]

Dear Jonathan - absolutely right, as usual! i am so sorry your friend has had such a horrible experience - the last thing you need when you're looking for help and support! I hope, like Rouri, that she logs on here, we'll look after her!

I had a similar - although fortunately brief - experience some months ago. I was feeling particularly low one night - too late to "phone a friend"! - and logged onto an anxiety "chat room". No-one actually seemed to be discussing anxiety - it was more the sort of inane text-talk the youngsters love to indulge in - and it took several attempts of my saying I was feeling dreadful before anyone responded. When they did, someone said - Cheer up,Rose, there's always sex! I retorted that I was 60 and lived alone, to which someone else replied - Well, there's always your right hand! (Forgive the crudity, I am merely reporting!) I've never been in the Army, Jonathan (they've never been that desperate lol!) - but I'm no spring chicken and didn't think i could be shocked - but i was. Quite apart from thinking - well, if sex cured MH problems, there wouldn't be any, would there? I did actually email the Admin of that site, saying they needed a moderator on line all the time and that it was not merely disgusting, but dangerous - but never received a response. Needless to say, i never returned to that particular site, but I dread to think what effect it might have on vulnerable people looking for support!

We are hugely fortunate with the running of this site - I like to think of it as those old Western films my mum loved. Any "black hats" ride into town, we report them to the "Sheriff" (Admin) - and they see them off pdq! i reported the latest disruptive influence (I'm sure others did too) - didn't expect anything to happen on a Sunday, but next time i looked, - he'd gone!

And you're right, Jonathan - the old child's thing of Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me! - is quite wrong! Words ARE powerful, we need to be very careful how we use them. Does anyone remember the case of the female paediatrician whose house was mobbed by ignorant people who didn't know the difference between that and a paedophile????

So thank God for this site, for the marvellous way it's "policed" - and, most of all, for the lovely, caring, kind people on it! Bless you all!

Lots of love

Rose

xxxxx

[rouri in reply to BriarRose]

ohh dear waht an awful experience!!!xx

[Maya_dawn]

I agree Jonathan. This site is hugely difference from the other "support" sites and chatrooms out there, which seem more like typical chatrooms than a place to get support and give support in return. Here you do get the feeling people care for you, and try to help, even if its just to say a few kind words or two.

Sometimes, just knowing someone understands how you feel, and doesn't make light of it, helps.

Rose, thats some helluva chatroom you logged into 0_0, but yes, I'm not surprised. I've logged into other forums before, meant to help with anxiety / OCD, but boy oh boy, it looks like a teenage chatroom! No support to be found there!

So yep, going to join you Rose, in giving thanks for having found this site and all the wonderful people on it!

[ellabella]

I can't keep up in a chat room lol I would meet myself coming backwards ( sorry no sexual innuendo meant LOL!!!) I agree with everything everyone has said . I love this site and my friends on here. I thank God for them ! x Ella x

[rouri in reply to ellabella]

we so lucky that we have you my dear ella xxx meshh meshh xx

[BriarRose]

Oh, ditto, Rouri - not to mention you and Jonathan, and Maya and .... and ..... xxxxxxxx

[lonestar]

hi rouri hope ur ok ! : )