BEWILDERMENT.

Hi All. Mostly to newcomers to this site. Dr. Weekes talked of the three bogies of nervous illness. "Sensitisation, Bewilderment and Fear". But what is bewilderment? It is when we say to ourselves. "My goodness, I never used to be like this. What is happening to me? I do not know what started it or how I will get over it". We are bewildered and upset by the way we feel. The word "Bewilder" in the dictionary means, among other things, "to confuse utterly". Is that not a good description of the way most of us start on our journey into or through nervous illness? We are surely confused. " What medication should I take? Who can help me? Who has a magic wand or word to get me out of this hellhole?" The answer of course is that there isn't one; but there are ways and means. There are a lot of good people out there (especially on this site) who are willing to help and offer advice because they have been through the same situation as you are in at the moment and have come out of it or are doing so. Do not be bewildered about how you feel. Express your feelings. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Who wouldn't feel the way you do when subjected to all the feelings you have. Dr. Weekes talks of FACING, ACCEPTING and letting TIME pass. To those who are new to this state and are on this site because of it please read her books. They are not expensive and give deep insight into your condition. A blog was recently put on site about the lack of response to some blogs. The "Comments" parts do not sometimes get used. There is no reply. Please do not be upset if this happens to you. Everyone on this site are in various stages of healing and to talk about this subject can, to some, be painful, although they mostly manage to answer as best they can. They have not all got "The Gift of the Gab" as I have. (Can be a good thing but not always!!) Mostly though you will get very helpful replies.Good luck to all. jonathan.

[daisy459]

I must admit that since i started reading these books last week, i have been feeling a lot better. Just more comfortable now i have finally accepted what is going on with me as Claire Weekes tells you to do.

None of us are alone xx

[Hidden in reply to daisy459]

Hi daisy459. Great! It is difficult at first to accept, and there are ups and downs but the general trend is always up provided we persevere. Good luck and best wishes to you. jonathan.

[ellabella]

Hi , I need one of these books! which is the best one to start with please x

[Hidden in reply to ellabella]

Hi ellabella. There is a compound of Dr. Weekes work called "Essential Help For Your Nerves" available from Amazon. (Around £10) The first part is an updated version that she must have written a few years before she died. The book "Self Help for your Nerves" was her first book back in 1962, but I think you will find that the first book I mentioned is the one to go for. Dr. Weekes admitted in a broadcast while she was in the UK that she, in her student days, had been through the anxiety mill, so she does talk from experience. Yes, acceptance is difficult but to me the big thing about it is that once you have learned the "acceptance" method then any future "setbacks" can be dealt with in the same way. Hope you are feeling better. Look after yourself. jonathan.

[Hidden]

Unfortunately, I can't concentrate long enough to manage to read a book. I was diagnosed with P.T.S.D. Agoraphobia and panic disorder eight years ago and have been struggling with it ever since. It's the 24/7 'invisible' fear that gets me down mostly! For the last two years I have been using the 'Linden' method CD's daily - they obviously help most people but I'm beginning to think that I am a hopeless case. However, since joining this group and relating to so many other peoples feelings similar to my own I have renewed hope. :)) I've ordered Dr. Weekes CD's which I'm expecting to arrive by post tomorrow. 'Tomorrow' has always been the worst day of each year as the flash-backs repeat themselves constantly and there have been times when I just wish I were dead so that I didn't have to relive the trauma's and the psychological pain that stays with me for days afterwards. Thank you fellow members for sharing your feelings - I don't feel so alone now. And jonathan2468 a very big thank you to you, your comments and suggestions are so reassuring to me. x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi WasME. Thanks for your kind words. I am so glad that you feel I have been of help. May I look at what you say in your reply? Firstly, the fact that you have had this problem eight years, although wearing for you, is not so important. I have known people who have suffered for forty years BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOT HAD INFORMED HELP. (My father was 92 when he died and had GAD all his life. He had no real treatment and was confused by it all). I have no knowledge of the Linden method but, by and large, I feel that going back into the past helps very little.The present sensitisation needs dealing with. You say you have been "struggling" with this problem. Do not struggle!! GIVE UP STRUGGLING. This can only lead to more fear; more frustration. Just as "FIGHTING" "IT" can lead to more anxiety. What you describe as 'invisible' fear is what I would call "background anxiety". It is always there even when you feel a bit better. Do not worry. It will go when you feel well again. And you will, believe me, if you go about it in the right way. OK. So you can't concentrate enough to read a book. Then don't. Just read as much as you can AT THE PRESENT. Just do as much as you can at anything you attempt and do not worry because you can't do any more. IT DOES NOT MATTER at your present stage of recovery. Do not rush at this. It takes TIME. "Flash backs" are memory working on a tired mind. If you were well then these flashbacks would not cause you any problem. Just memories to be forgotten. But they leap to the foreground because of the state you are in. Go with them. Do not try to get rid of them and remember they are only memories and not something you can do anything about anyway and they will not harm you. The past is the past; leave it alone.My heart goes out to you and I do hope you will feel better. Keep looking at this site. The people on it know what they are talking about as they have all "been there". Blessings and good luck. jonathan.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi Jonathan, thank you for your opinion and encouragement. I’m now thinking that I have been doing it all wrong! In the beginning I had CBT which only made me worse. I didn’t want to remember… It got to the point that after or during a session the anxiety was so bad that my legs were like jelly. I would stand up to leave and the last thing I could ever remember was hearing ‘Man down’ and then loosing time. So you are right, “going back in the past helps very little.” I agreed to my GP’s suggestion of trying SSRI’s. The side-effects of the first three different tablets were horrendous but then I was prescribed Esitalopram 20mg (Cipralex) backed up with Diazepam and after a couple of weeks I began to feel a little better and more able to cope with my symptoms. A couple of years ago I decided to try and help myself after seeing an advert which sounded very promising. I bought the one year home course and religiously followed it. I bought another the next year as I was beginning to feel more at ease in my home during the day. However, I was lead to believe that I needed to fill each day completely by doing something ‘constructive, anything - as long as it kept me occupied so that my invasive thoughts were kept at bay. I’ve been ‘pushing’ myself all this time even when exhausted from lack of sleep for three or four days due to the nightmares (or more recently terrified to go to sleep for the fear of them). I got it into my head that I could walk the dog so stopped the dog-walker and began taking her out myself. Some mornings I’d struggle to get out the door, it could take me up to half-an-hour to fight the fear of going out but I was determined as the method I was using convinced me that I could. There were so many ‘triggers’ out there but each day I went a little further… about a week later without any warning (apart from the usual pounding heart) I got what I call a ‘jelly-legs’ attack and when I came to there were police and paramedics around me. Cutting a long story short I ended up in hospital for three days while more tests were done. Once again I believe that you are right “STRUGGLING” and “FIGHTING” “IT” “can only lead to more fear; more frustration… and “more anxiety”. I’m giving up struggling as from today. Thank you for such sound advice. x

[ellabella]

Hi Jonathan, I have managed to order a used copy of this book from Amazon for £5.09p including post and packing!! There were quite a few if anyone else is interested. Thank you Jonathon I look forward to reading this. @ Wasme please get on Amazon and order a copy of this for yourself. I feel for you too hun.....and £5 is a good bargain xxxxxxxx

[ellabella]

Wasme , forgive me I have just read your post again and realised you are getting the cd,s. I hope you get through tomorrow without too much pain and suffering. I do feel for you and you are on my prayer list if that is alright with you? xxxxxxx

[Hidden in reply to ellabella]

Thank you annabella. God bless you. Xx (hugs and kisses from me and my dog)

[Hidden]

Hi WasME. ellabella has put you in her prayers and you are also in mine. You have certainly been through a very bad patch. You say you do not want to remember but it does not matter. Remember all you like provided you do not fasten on to the memories and make a nervous issue of them. It is difficult to try and stop memories. They tend to come when we least expect them so GO THROUGH THEM with as much courage and UNDERSTANDING as you can muster. They cannot harm you unless you give them the energy to keep them going. They rely on you for their existence! You were advised that, by doing something constructive during the day it would keep your invasive thoughts at bay. Oh dear! When in an anxiety state keeping unwanted thoughts at bay is darned nigh impossible. Let them come. If you deal with them the right way then you take the "sting" out of them. Now what does it mean, "keeping at bay". Surely it is similar to "fighting"? "Keep the hounds at bay, do not let them near me". I advocate the opposite. Let the hounds in; be kind to them; you will find that if you do this they turn out to be just boisterous puppies. Once again you say when taking the dogs for a walk it took you time to "fight the fear". STOP FIGHTING. GIVE UP THE STRUGGLE. Go with it. Let the fear come. Do not run away from it in FEAR. Walk as far as you can with the fear there. It's asking a lot I know, but it can be done. I am not saying ignore it. How could you. I am saying be aware of it but do not give it so much importance. You were doing well then you had a "set back". This happens to us all, but if you use the same method as before then you will come through it. This takes TIME. I do urge you to get Dr.Weekes books. ellabella has hers from Amazon. It will be the best 5 or 6 pounds you have ever spent. Bless you, keep your pecker up and keep on and UP. jonathan.