I'm I going mad!!! please help!!!

[Helen82]

Hi everyone.

Hope everyone had a lovely christmas and all the best for 2013.

I am a little nervous coming on here. I need to see if anyone suffers this (purgatory) this is the only way I can describe the feeling I have experienced for many years. I am 30 and have a little boy who is 3.5 years now and is the apple of my eye. I have a very high pressured job, which entails 40-45hr week. I have suffered from Aniexty for many years and I am at my wits end on how I can best this.

I always worry, doesnt matter what it is, were or who. It beats me all the time. I just need to learn how to cope. I tend to worry about work which is 99% of why I worry. I need this job to keep a roof over our heads, so I tend to get on with it. Which then causes issues at home with my partner as I always have a face tripping me when I have had a bad day, I am very short tempered with my family and I am always very restless. I always think that Iam going to lose my job? Have I said something I shouldnt have? Read into everything and think the worse?

Some days are great, were i think YES I have nothing to worry about today,then something will happen and BANG my day has turned into a nightmare. I tend to put myself out of a situation as I know I will start to worry. I tend to have worrys about when I go out (socially)e.g thinkong about new year.

I have been to my GP about this and he just gave me medication, which I am scared to take, I waited 6 mths for CBT session and the lady who was with me, was dreadfull, all she did was make me read leaflets, and asked me questions but didnt give me any reason why I felt like this or how to deal with these feeling, plus she gave me home work!!!!

I have a loving family,no money worries and some great family and friends, but I would like someone to talk to a bout this or help with copying mechanisms. What do I do???? This is ruining my life.

Look forward to hearing your thoughts

H

[stde]

Welcome; you have taken the first step in realising you are not alone!!Rather than ramble on please go to home page and scroll through similar questions and posts.

This is a good first step as you will be able to identify with other posts and read through all the wonderful advice...

You will also get a lot of help from your post but why wait till tommorow...get reading and get well...............speak soon..............xxxx

[Helen82 in reply to stde]

Thank you for your reply. Will just do that x

[donaf]

we all with anxiety over think everything, more then a person who doesn't suffer does. ive been on flouxitine for around six months now which have helped. as for social situations its been a one step at a time thing with me and a lot of other people on here. what really helped me learn to think diffently was a book called anxiety no more, it really explained a lot on anxiety and all the symptoms something that the doctor never explained. plus im waiting on another book to come which ive heard mentioned a lot on this site by Claire weekes. it teks a while to learn to cope with it, where as I used to be in tears on the first sign of it coming and try fighting it now as much as it gets me down I try to get on with things to take my mind off it. its all to do with changing your way of thinking xxx

[Helen82]

Thank you for your reply. Which books are the best? xx

[Melgil58]

Hello Helen first off so you know I'm a bloke you can see in my profile I read your blog we led similar job lifestyles always worrying about what they think about us at work I worked for a company for 30 yrs and I could never satisfy them but they never sacked me not bad for someone who was told to pull my finger out at every opportunity and was begged to change my mind when i decided to leave when id had enough when you work pressure is something that comes with it especially these days usually because somebody higher ups not doing they'r job and leaving it to you you have to some how leave work hassle at work and enjoy home life you don't have to stop thinking about a work project but your loved ones come first I know what you mean about CBT they do only give you literature and homework i used to do mine in the surgery whil waiting it's mainly to give you directions to move your thinking into a different area when negative thoughts crop up I thought they'd want to know your life story they don't I only got a wish to read about CBT/anxiety and I learnt more from that than the sessions. I hope you will get a hold on this it can be done and best wishes to you and yours. Mel

[Melgil58]

Hello it's me again I forgot to give you some book pointers I found Claire Weeks good also a couple of books with unfortunate titles but helpful in the Dummies guide range one on anxiety and one on cognitive behavioural therapy both available on a kindle if you have one they were both helpful all the best. Mel

[stde]

Word of kindness....one book at a time...lol. People like us always want everything now!!

take each day as it comes...enjoy the site meanwhile.....xx.

We work at becoming anxious for years, and yet expect it to leave us overnight.....may your god be with you, you have started your journey to health.....we will be with you.....xx

[Hidden]

Hi. Helen. Why are you not taking medication? Have you the fear of getting 'hooked' on them. This is most important, because by the sound of it, you do need them. You do NOT have to get hooked on them. When you recover, and you WILL, medication can be 'tapered' off and finally stopped. Your GP will advise on this. If you had a broken leg would you refuse a crutch? Of course not. So why refuse much needed help in the form of meds? "IT" beats you! Well it will, won't it, because you are FIGHTING "IT" all the time, day in and day out. A very exhausting and painful process. You are still working. That is good. Your job puts you under pressure but if you gave it up the worry financially and the feeling of failure would be worse than you feel now. Having painted a depressing picture I now come to the good bit. You WILL NOT always be this way. Something has sensitised you; made you sensitive to outside events. Events you would have laughed at a year ago. This is not your fault. Everyone on this site knows and understands because they have all been in similar situations themselves. First of all do not expect others who dont suffer to understand how you feel, especially your work colleagues. Unless you have suffered it is very difficult to know. Your reactions are NORMAL in the circumstances you are creating. The worry causes fear which in turn makes you want to run away from a situation. You cant do that so the worry turns inward and becomes anxiety. Now I want you to stop trying to get out of this by ACCEPTNG how you feel for THE MOMENT. Stop fighting, struggling and and trying to get the better of "IT". "It beats me every time" (Your words). This means you are engaging in combat with "IT", a bad mistake. You cant win that one. So stop fighting; give up the struggle. Go with it but dont give it so much importance.

Come back whenever you wish. Support is always here. Read the other posts and blogs. These people know what they are talking about. Very best wishes to you. jonathan.

[henige in reply to Hidden]

Good advice very time.

[Hidden]

I,m listening to Jonathan ,seems good advice,I am really like Helen,should not really have anything to worry about but my mind is filled with needless stupid worries,don't want to go to the doctors,I know I have anxiety I have not told anybody about it,I have tried but it does get ignored or brushed off,so unhappy,I used to be like Helen and blamed my work,could not wait to retire,but it got worse,working kept my mind occupied,I have not always been like this,seems to be getting worse as time goes on,If I think of the future(all the time)it gets worse as I think I have to face the future feeling like this,dreading the new year coming in as I will feel like this tomorrow and the next day,can't see a end to it,I have watched this site for a while but could not write anything until I seen Helen's blog.