Yesterday was what I can describe as a good day I managed work. But today ! I have to pick up my little cousin from school and just the thought I just can't do it I have work and my boyfriend wants me to come round. I sick to the back teeth of this I try and try to pun through. But everytime I leave the house it's as if Armageddon is starting inside of me! I'm meant to be going to a show tomorrow In Glasgow but I just can do it facing the train the busy streets !!! Basically everything! I just feel I'm letting everyone down including myself. Just feel stuck. It's starting to get me down and the thought of losing people over my anxiety is really really getting to me ! I can't cope with this !!
Sometime I feel fine I will get ready and as soon as I get outside I want to throw up or pass out !
This Isn't me I don't want this to define me. I've stopped taking care of myself I don't know if deep down its kinda a punishment and I try so hard to stay positive just to much pressure and no one understands I don't expect them to just want them to help me a little !