I have a question, how do you stop thinking it's only a matter of time before i feel anxious again?

I just thought, if you have a question about something that sounds like a mental health problem who can you turn to, I know, a load of people with enough problems to reach the moon will be able to help me, no offence, you crazies lol are all i got to turn to for advice, it really does help to chat when you feel low and confused.

ok enough with the being stupid vv, i do have a question, even when im feeling a little better, i always have in my head that its only a matter of time until the next problem comes that you have to get through vv, i mean for someone else in the family to do something, like go out somewhere, if they do it, and i dont get too anxious i think well done vv pat on the back you handled that well, then pretty soon after i get the thoughts of it will not be too long until you have to do that hard work all again, and this time your not going to handle it so well. i dont know just a hell of a lot of negative thinking to get through all the time, sometimes its just so knackering, you feel pretty isolated within your own head, though if someone else was in here i suppose id still have mental health problems. any replys would be great thanks all sorry to take up time but feeling as if there will always be something to get through, best wishes VV x


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6 Replies

  • I got the same feelings and its really easy to get reassured from people even doctors but not for long and anxiety/thoughts crawl back in your head- so annoying but have you tried to drink chamomile flower herbal tea( tea pig)- usual from Waitrose and do something to get you busy but I got the self help book from CBT counselling, they said you must go in a room and face your problem for 15 mins, once time is up and leave the room and do it everyday then you will feel lots better and on the way to recovery from anxiety and bad thoughts! I'm gonna try it today and see how it goes. Sending you hugs x

  • Thank you VV

  • i will give the tea a try, but i will blame you minnie if its not nice lol VVx

  • Hi. Vincent and min. So if, while in the throes of deep despair, anxiety and dpression I go into a room for 15 minutes every day and face my problems I will overcome my anxiety? I no longer wonder why CBT was not for me. If it were that easy we could close the site down and all go home!. Of course we have to face our problems, but what happens when you have done that? It seems to suit some and good luck to them. Someone I knew paid $2500 to be suspended over a chasm and told to drop all her worries into it. She did. Felt terrified of the height and came home an anxious wreck. These short sharp cures depend on how deep your anxiety is and how long you have had it. Vincent, I think you know what I am going to say. ANTICIPTION is the devil in this illness. We get caught up in it so that every good thought goes out of the window. You also know what comes next! You cannot get rid of negative thoughts by trying to 'think' them away. It is your present condition that invites them in. So stay with them. Yes, there is another person in your head. A little sod that keeps saying, "You wont get over this, Vincent; this is worse than the others, this one is here to stay!!". Ignoring the little voice; trying to push it away does not work and you get 'knackered' trying. There is nothing more exhausting than trying to 'get rid' of something. It is bordering on FIGHTING your way out. It surprises me, although it shouldn't, that we go on fighting and struggling, although this is the natural thing we feel we should do. We have to go against our natural feelings."You must FIGHT this, you must not let it get the better of you". How often have you heard that? People have a problem with utter, total acceptance of the feelings. No fighting, struggling trying to force your way out. Just total ACCEPTANCE. This is not 'putting up with'. Far from it. Acceptance calms you a little so that you can take time to look at your situation. The 'bugs' are still there but they assume less importance. I know, this is not for everyone and I can only say that having tried most therapies, including CBT, this method was the one that allowed my recovery. It is not easy but it can be done. Best wishes jonathan.

  • Makes sense jonathan, thank you for taking the time to answer me. i have also done the 12 week cbt course, it didnt work for me either, i am trying to accept the anxiety, like saying 'i know what this is, i've had it before and nothing too bad happened' but after i have had what i'd call a good result, it isn't long before i find a negative responce to the good work i have done, 'i will struggle again next time' but like you say its working to accept this part now i suppose, hard work though it is. yes, the fighting it doesnt work at all, just keeps going up, i have continued my walk since i first came on here, and when i get anxious i do try to stay in the moment for as long as possible, where i used to just head home as fast as possible, which made it worse, and harder to go back to that particular place again. thanks again for the advice jonathan your a top fella, best wishes VV will keep trying

  • I too tried cbt and i think it just made me worse. It brought things up from the past that i wanted to forget but the counsellor said she needed to find out about my past and upbringing. The counsellor said ive been suffering ptsd from a past violent and brutal relationship, which i really didnt want to talk about because it made me feel uncomfortable and anxious and it was like i didnt want her to feel sorry for me because i felt embarrassed to be honest, so i stopped going there, im wondering whether i made the right decision.

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