please help

O.k so here goes..........

I'm a 26yr old mum of 2 (boy 3/girl5) and my anxiety/ibs & panic attacks have got that bad i can no longer get them to school, which is a 5min journey in a taxi or a 10min walk, i started using taxis to help my fear, but now even these have been impossible to get in to.

Looking back through my life i have always had some kind of social phobia and suffered serverly with ibs but in the past 18months it has just got completely out of control. I have had a stressful time recently but i don't think this is what has brought it on as i have been through far far worse.

I have been to the doctors now more times than i can remember or want to. I have been on citolpram which i was took of as it wasn't working, i am now on proponal which is helping with the breathing but nothing else. I have now been refereed for CBT through the NHS via a initial mental health assessment but i have no idea how long it will take, i really need to see a counsellor but i was told there is a 6-12mnth waiting list. I need help now but i don't have the money to pay for one,esp when I'm not making it into work.

My last servere attack was last week where i got in the cab with the children to drop them of at school and i had to get the taxi driver to pull over and let me go to the toilet 2 mins after we set off (for a 5 min trip) i spent at least ten minutes loosing the contents of my stomach which made them late for school,for the third time that week due to attacks, since then apart from one nights work i haven't left the house. At the moment my grandparents are getting up early and driving up here just to get the kids to school and pick them up.

I went to the doctors again and basically asked him to put me on something alot stronger that would make me numb so i could at least get the kids to school but he said he doesn't agree with pills,that you wouldn't dose up a child afraid of the bogey man and i need to learn to cope. I would like to see him go through what i am and me tell him to cope.

My work place is 5 mins walk away but still i can't get there half the time and when i do its in a taxi, i can't walk to the shop or bring my children to the park, it is ruining my life. I miss out on anything that involves going out, i recently missed a family wedding and couldn't go with my children to watch the fireworks.My ibs is so bad and sudden brought on by panic that there has been times where i havn't got to the toilet at all or i have had to find bushes.

I'm hoping someone here understands what i am going through i know it sounds completely mad, when i say it it sounds stupid but i really feel completely worn out from it all and i don't know what else to do.

I'm screaming on the inside but no one can hear me

I just feel like if this carries on i will loose my mind. I feel guilt for what i'm putting everyone through,i'm just on a downward spiral

i need help

7 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Do you have a partner/husband ......do they know how bad you are feeling right now? I think you do need help straight away and it would be a good idea to get someone........maybe your grandparents to take you to the doctors for an emergency appointment and say exactly what you have said here. You will need to tell them about the taxi having to stop and how extreme the IBS is ......you can't be expected to cope with that. You do need to say exactly how bad it is ......describe it in detail, it's hard I know but that it what you need to do to get the help you need. Say that you feel like you are losing your mind as you have here. Be as strong in your description as possible.

    if you feel like this you need some immediate help to get things on a more even track until you can get some more longterm help.

    Let us know how you went on. PL

  • Hi I have been not so long time ago in similar situation. It was extremely scary but it is possible to get over it :)

    What helped me...to accept that I have a problem to understand what I can do on daily basis and what I can not. Try to do what you are comfortable with ...I know it can be almost nothing and slowly expand that circle as confidence grows.

    My antidepressants helped Prozac, cbt, relatives and partner. It was long and slow process but it was worth it as now I can sort of lead normal life...

    Ask your GP for medication and immediate cbt course. In mean time you can do things to relax, listen to music, read a book, draw, and ect. The most important is to breath deeply and slowly with your belly not chest. When I started I was shocked I just could breath with belly but now it's the only way I do :)

    If you need more advice just let me know :)

    Don't give up, things will get better :)

  • Hiya your having a bad time at the minute you have ibs and you have anxiety your anxious because of the ibs and your ibs is worse because your anxious and you should go back to your dr and tell them how bad it is and how inconvenient it is for you cbt will help you face your anxiety because it asks you to find the triggers for your anxiety if you can't wait for a councillor you can get some excellent books on self help with anxiety there's some by a dr Claire Weekes and one I found easy to read was called the dummies guide to anxiety unfortunate title I know there's also one in that series for CBT they can all help a little to show you ways to calm yourself you don't have to feel awful you can take control back I did and i had all the symptoms you've mentioned it can be quick or it may take a little time but I hope you can settle down to a calmer life. All the best. Mel

  • My experience of panic related bodily reactions tells me that you have suffered a psychological trauma that has created a pathway, of loss of control to your bowels. The same level of fear that does the same thing to soldiers, on a battlefield. Your battlefield would appear to be in your mind. Personally, I would be checking if any of my daily habits are causing this. New medication, smoking, drinking. Or I would look to isolate the thought patterns that lead me into this bodily reaction. If you can see signs on the way to the attack, you can learn to stop the process before it impacts on your physiology.

    If it is possible, I would recommend that your grandparents take over your children for a while to allow you an opportunity to sort out this crisis situation. Medication that helps to control your mood should help to create some space in your life that will allow for this heightened state to diminish. Rest and clear thinking are needed. Please accept my best wishes for your recovery. My life is underpinned with my faith.

  • hello,

    Im sorry to hear you are feeling so low at the moment, you are suffering from really high bouts of anxiety, its a shame your gp has little empathy for mental health problems. all your reactions are totally normal, you get the 'fight or flight' response that is always refered to. well its true about the ibs, i have ibs with anxiety, the fear of needing a loo, makes the anxiety worse, the anxiety makes the needing a loo worse. the reaction of the body to fear and flight, is to make itself as light as possible, sounds great right, well it needs to unload what it doesn't need, hence the loo. you are also having a great deal of negative thoughts, these thoughts once they get going on that downward spiral they will just keep going down, at some point we have to learn to say 'this is not helping me right now' you are in control of your mind, it is a tool that you use, it does not control you, and you are strong enough to put a stop to the negative thinking. you do have an illness, that some people will understand and some will not, but you will get through this i promise, you can do this, it starts with little steps, and i mean little, by looking for other ways to do things you are helping the avoidance, by making that part stronger, your bubble will start to get smaller, dont make excuses to avoid situations, i know it feels like climbing everest at the moment, but you can do this, you must keep busy, your mind needs to have to work, you cant do two things at once, like be anxious and something else.

    You have made a great start by knowing something is not right, now you do need to go back to your idiot gp and ask to be refered to the mental health section of your local hospital, its nothing to worry about but from here you can get more help, like cbt, or therapy or your local 'mind' centre all things that you do from here on in will only make small improvements to how you feel, but by making a lot of small steps you make a few large ones. good luck and best wishes let us know how you get on, you must demand help, there is no magic pills, but there is help, and you will get to learn more about this illness and the more you know the more you will be able to manage it. you are stronger than this, things will get better i promise, TTFN VV x

  • Hello, I've just read this and I want you to know that I am thinking about you and I really hope that you follow the advice that has been given on here. You are not alone anymore and please, please come and let us know how you get on at your stupid Doctors! I could weep for you! poor little chick Love and Hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • HI, i really feel for you cos i go through similer. i have terrible ibs and its got to the point now where i wont leave the house until ive been number twos.......and i still where sanitary towels just incase. its awful, i dont go out alone apart from walking the dog very close to my house. it has totally affected my life, i miss out on so much. every med given to me to try and help just makes me go to the toilet more than normal which just makes me more anxious and panicy....and on and on and on it all goes. x

You may also like...