Weddings, Marriage, Love and Anxiety

[aberkaz]

My boyfriend recently proposed to me, and even though of course I said yes the way he did it wasn't how I imagined he would and left me a bit deflated. We had an amazing holiday planned which is where he had planned to do but life got in the way and we had to cancel due to the fact he is currently unwell.

However, this triggered an anxiety response and my quick, run away it will be easier to deal with if you are alone raised its ugly head. Even though I have been suffering from GAD since a dysfunctional childhood it never ceases to surprise me where the condition springs up and effects me.

When I met the man I was going to marry I thought I would be 110% sure and everything would fall into place. Whilst doing some internet research I came across a website and blog and even though it is from 2010 it struck a cord with me. I suddenly realised my tendancy to over analyse every situation (especially relationships) are down to my make up, GAD and personality and doesn't reflect on my relationship or man.

I just wanted to post it on here incase anyone is going through the same,

apracticalwedding.com/2010/...

It is very reassuring and once again reminded me I am not alone in this, either my anxiety or destructive thoughts.

Sure between now and then wedding there will be a few more panicked blogs!

[Hidden]

Hi aberkaz. If we could all be 110% certain of anything then we would be fortunate indeed.

A proposal of marriage is not always on a beautiful desert island, with the moon rising over the horizon and the locals playing their guitars. It does not matter where it is if it is sincere.

You know, relationships are all about ' images', are they not? You have an 'image' of your boyfriend and he has an 'image' of you. We all have 'images' of each other. When one does not conform to our 'image' then we get upset, angry or disappointed.I believe this is why divorce is so prevalent. The 'images' get shattered in day to day living. You are you and your boy friend is him. You are as you are and he is as he is. You cannot change people. They have to change themselves. To say this to a young person may seem presumptuous, but the awareness of this usually only comes with age. Of course there will be anxious anticipation before the wedding. I have yet to meet anyone who has not had this. (I do not know to this day how I ever got to the Registry Office; talk about 'jelly legs'!)) But it is how you handle the anticipation that counts. Your 'make up' can be changed. By looking at normal feelings in a less exaggerated way you will eventually overcome the anxiety. We do not often get weddings on this site and I am sure we all wish you well. Keep blogging. jonathan.